Photo by ebruli

In Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Ricky Bobby’s father says, “Word around town is that I got a crazy son who wants to go fast!”

I think that sums up the attitude of pretty much everything in the United States. We want it, and we want it now! That’s the premise of fast food, after all! We’ve all seen how today’s fast food epidemic is affecting us, but where it began was quite different.

The Automat

Photo by Salim Virji

They say that necessity is the mother of invention. It seems, in the case of fast food, that transportation is the mother of invention. After all, with the dawn of the automobile and trans-American trains, food needed to get to us in ways mom just couldn’t provide any longer.

In the early 1900′s, the automated food delivery process began in New York City. Diners would come inside the restaurant, feed coins into a machine, grab their selections, and then stuff their faces. It was a marvel of modern times called the automat.

Essentially it was a cafeteria with a wall-to-wall sandwich machine. The windows were coin-operated, just as today’s machines are. However, this wasn’t today’s stale egg salad on white.  You could get hot coffee, macaroni and cheese, and cakes and pies galore, as well as standard sandwiches.

The automat gained popularity, and retained it’s fame until the 1940′s. The last remaining automat closed in April of 1991, ending an era.

Drive-Ins

Photo by army.arch

As cars became more accessible to the average family and Route 66 was a favorite way to travel, Americans needed more on-the-road dining options.

In the 1940′s, drive-in restaurants popped up. They were staffed by carhops and had an internal kitchen that functioned like the kitchen in a regular restaurant. The only difference was people ate in their cars rather than inside at tables.

In 1948, the McDonald brothers closed up shop for three months to turn their drive-in into a drive-through. They developed the “Speedee Service System” to cut the fat away from getting orders ready, and thus developed the first known assembly line in modern restaurant food.

Ray Kroc, a mixer salesman, bought the rights to franchise the McDonald’s restaurant and began spreading them throughout his home state of Illinois. Billions of burgers later, McDonald’s has become so successful that they are one of the thirty companies to make up the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

No wonder we’re known as the fast food nation. Our food supply has gone to hell in a fry basket. Getting back to our food roots is going to take some time.

Welcome to the Slow Food Movement. Because “slow food aims to be everything fast food is not.”

What Is Slow Food?

Photo by Wonderlane

You’ve heard me talk before about why I believe in eating local foods whenever possible. There’s often quite a bit of overlap between locavorism and slow foodism, as people who are passionate about food are often cut from the same cloth.

That said, proponents of slow food often take this passion further than just preferring local foods. There are three main aspects of slow food that even a food snob like me has to appreciate: biodiversity, rediscovering the joy of eating and linking food producers to consumers (or co-producers, in slow food speak).

Biodiversity

Did you know that there are more than two hundred varieties of bananas known in the world?  I count myself fortunate to have experienced four of them.

The first is your average grocery store banana (called a “dessert banana” in the industry), then there’s the plantain, the dwarf or fingerling bananas, and I’ve also eaten red bananas.

The Slow Food Movement wants to restore our foods so that they taste the way they were meant to taste. When seeds are hybridized to give us the largest fruit, the most pest-resistance, and the greatest yield, we’ve forgotten what’s important. Taste!

Do you remember what food tasted like when you were a kid? Corn on the cob? Watermelon? I do—and that lifeless tomato from the store just isn’t it. I miss the taste of food—being able to savor it rather than just get it down because it’s good for me.

This problem isn’t limited to fresh produce. Think about ancient grains like spelt and quinoa.  Think about how favorable genes are bred in cattle for dairy and beef. The list goes on and on.

Biodiversity in our food supply is an endangered species. There are a couple of organizations fighting to save seeds from our foods and preserve either their tastes or the memory of their tastes. Ark of Taste and the Seed Savers Exchange are two such organizations.

Taste Education

Photo by Roland Tanglao

I know, it sounds a bit like A Clockwork Orange, reprogramming our tastes and whatnot. The efforts of the Slow Food Movement are designed to get us back to food—reconnect to it in ways we did long ago.

The point is to show people where food comes from, how it’s made, and how it tastes. The possibilities in this area are diverse.

Starting with the youngest consumers makes sense. When children are interested in the growth of food and how to prepare it, they influence their parents. I believe the children are the future of food (sorry Whitney).

To develop adult palettes, Slow Food aims to have workshops, tastings, and cooking classes.  It’s really not such a stretch to believe that when we know how to prepare food in ways that are enjoyable to us, we’ll do it more often.

When we care more about the source of the food, we care more about preserving it for our children, as well as taking care of ourselves. If you’d like to find a Slow Food chapter near you, check out Slow Food USA.

Connections

Photo by David Silver

Slow Food believes that we are all co-producers of food, not simply consumers. They say that by becoming informed about how our food is produced and supporting those who produce it, we become partners together in the farm-to-table process.

To that end, they organize farmer’s markets, and meetings at farmer’s markets that are already established. They hold events, like a handmade ice cream tasting in the Atlanta chapter each June. Some get together for potlucks every month or two.

Other chapters bring in excellent wines or cheeses, along with their producers, so that the final consumer gets to meet the person making their favorite treat. In short, the connections portion brings us back to relationship with food itself and the people who craft it.

If this back-to-nature approach appeals to you, be sure to check out Slow Food USA here in the States, or Slow Food to find an international chapter!

Additional Reading on GenXXL

• The Grindstone: Why Mill Your Own Grains?
• The Grass Is Always Greener
• Sweet and Satisfying Summer Treats

Photo by Kevin Ward

The two worst sports towns in America are Cleveland and Salt Lake City. They’ve earned this dubious honor for completely different reasons, but they both deserve it.

You could argue that Atlanta with its fair-weather fans or Kansas City, which is pure haplessness, are worse, but they don’t hold a candle to Cleveland and Salt Lake. Nothing can be as bad as what I’m about to describe.

On one hand, we have a city that seems to have the wrong expectations, the wrong ideals and the wrong perspective. On the other hand, we have a city where “dreams go to die.”

What’s the difference? Well, they don’t have many dreams in Salt Lake City.

Warped Perceptions in Utah

Photo by Keith Allison

The Utah Jazz got smacked around by the Lakers in the 2nd Round of the Western Conference playoffs. However, that’s not what intrigues me.

Being intrigued that the Lakers kicked the crap out of a hobbled Jazz team is NOT news. The news is in a guy who used to play in Utah—only now he’s drawing boos.

Derek Fisher was drafted with Kobe Bryant in Los Angeles. He spoke so beautifully of fighting against Kobe in 1-on-1′s when they were young players. He learned how to play the game with Kobe.

Well, when D-Fish got old and the Lakers were crumbling, he was let go and landed in Utah.  He filled the role, but never did anything serious for Utah. In fact, his 3 rings were the only thing he brought to the Jazz.

Then Derek Fisher had to deal with unspeakable terror. His daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of eye cancer. He asked the Jazz to send him to a city that had a hospital capable of handling his daughter’s care.

The Jazz sent Fisher—almost as a favor—back to the Lakers. However, they were not the juggernaut Lakers, and not the “selfish Kobe” Lakers. The Jazz had no idea that Chris Wallace would trade Pau Gasol straight up for a flaming pile of dog crap, or that Kobe would learn to share the ball.

Derek Lied?

Photo by Donielle

So, D-Fish goes back to L.A. The Lakers get Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom, and Kobe learns to be “the man.”  They make two straight finals and win the 2009 title.

When Derek Fisher returns to Utah this year and he finds himself booed by the fans in Salt Lake. In fact, many news outlets ran a photo of two women wearing shirts that read “Fisher Lied.”

Huh?  Derek Fisher lied? How, I ask you?

Apparently the folks in Utah need more oxygen—must be the heights in the Rockies. By saying that Derek Fisher lied and booing him, the people of Salt Lake City are saying:

1. Derek Fisher is a clairvoyant
2. Therefore, he predicted the stupidest trade in history—Gasol for Kwame Brown
3. Then, he wished his cancer on his own daughter so he could go back to L.A. where she could receive adequate medical care, and
4. The state of Utah is entitled to a championship.

Derek Fisher basically won the 2009 NBA title for the Lakers. The only problem is, he sucked the whole year until he hit those two 3-pointers in Game 4. The Jazz are not entitled to good luck—they just aren’t.

No wonder John Stockton and Karl Malone couldn’t pull it together. Combine Jordan with unreasonable entitlements and you get the 1997 and 1998 failures during the finals.

Salt Lake City sucks because it thinks highly of itself when it has no right to. You don’t get to boo Derek Fisher and you certainly can’t expect Malone and Stockton to beat Jordan and Phil Jackson.

That’s just stupid. That’s what they are—unintelligent sports fans. At least fans in KC and Atlanta know better.

Cleveland, Where Dreams Go to Die

Cleveland—home of LeBron, the Indians, Bernie Kosar, and no titles in 46 years. LeBron just flamed out of the playoffs. Travis Hafner hasn’t lived up to expectations. Cliff Lee and C.C. Sabathia left the Indians. And, the Browns stink worse than a plumber’s hairy butt crack.

Bernie Kosar has the Browns on the brink of going to the Super Bowl and then—”The Drive.” The Indians have the best pitching staff in baseball—then they trade Lee and Sabathia for less-than-equal-value.

LeBron stopped caring about midway through the 2nd half of Game 4 against Boston. The Cavs are now contemplating firing Mike Brown because LeBron couldn’t get it done against an ancient Celtics club.

Cleveland is a place that can only hold up Jim Brown as an icon. It can only look to the 1964 NFL Championship that the Browns won during the “pre-Super Bowl era.”

LeBron didn’t just have to be “the man,” but he also had to keep the dream alive in Cleveland.  It’s not anyone’s fault—Cleveland just invites the death of dreams.

LeBron is an amazing player, but his dreams can’t be fulfilled in Cleveland. He can’t save a city that eats dreams for breakfast. Do you really think having the Indians as the subject of “Major League” was a mistake?

The Worst Thing Is a Brat

Photo by Keith Allison

LeBron looked completely disinterested as his Cavs lost to the Celtics. He raised his hands after every missed shot, flashing a look as if to say, “What just happened here?”

You take LeBron’s “it’s easy to pick on me when I’ve had 3 bad games in 7 years” and combine that with the desperation of Cleveland fans and the result is utter failure.

They invited yet another big shot to the team and he broke their hearts. It’s as if they didn’t know any better. Maybe it’s time for Cleveland fans to let the dream die altogether.

Perhaps they can learn the passive apathy of Atlanta fans. They can learn to make BBQ like they do in Kansas City. Maybe they could even take up a hobby—they used to make nooses in Boston and they invented “quitting your team” in Chicago.

What’s the Worst that Could Happen?

Photo by Dan Fornal

Salt Lake has unreasonable fans, but they haven’t called for Jerry Sloan‘s job. This shows that they know he is a good coach, as well as a valuable asset to the franchise.

Sure, they booed Derek Fisher, but they’re just dumb. Dumb isn’t enough, though. Heck, half the fans in L.A. don’t know the first thing about sports—they go for the show.

Cleveland fans—they just invite misery. They should know that they will be crushed. I never thought LeBron could win a title in Cleveland. I even posited that Kevin Durant is the “heir apparent” who can win multiple titles in OKC.

If Bernie Kosar couldn’t beat John Elway, Jim Thome couldn’t beat the Marlins, and two Hall of Fame pitchers get traded—you’re in hell. H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!

Utah, at the very least, has an air of realism. They probably knew they couldn’t beat Jordan’s Bulls, so they got mad and stayed that way.

The fans in Cleveland don’t know left from right. They let Bernie Kosar hurt them, Sabathia quit them, and LeBron flame out on them. Yet, they still want LeBron to come back.

The winner of the #1 worst sports city in America is Cleveland. Not only can they not get out of their own way—they like pain.

Now they’ll bang themselves on the head with rocks for a couple months hoping LeBron will stay—as if he’s the answer.  You’re cursed . . . permanently!  Get over it!

Additional Reading on GenXXL

• King James MVP Crowd Favorite
• NBA Gossip: Does LeBron Have a Way “Out of Cleveland?
• Durant to Dunk Kobe, LeBron

Photo by dcarson924

If you’re heavy lifting a few days a week, you hurt—a lot.  I know, because I hurt—a lot. It’s just part of the game, and that’s what makes people dedicated to the stacks different than the average population.

Sometimes, though, the pain and tension get to be too much. It interrupts good sleep, interferes with productivity and makes you want to skip workouts. When you reach that point, some professional help may be in order.

Not mental help, but physical help, in the form of a licensed massage therapist. This guy (or girl) will become your body’s best friend once you’re able to find the right type of massage and pressure for your body.

What to Look for:

Photo by Kerala Tourism

1.  Make sure to see a licensed massage therapist. Regulations vary from state to state, but basically you want someone who has been to massage therapy school and has passed an exam stating that they have the knowledge to properly perform the techniques on your body.

2.  Ask if the therapist performs the type of massage you’re interested in. If you find a therapist who is great at Swedish massage, but you want shiatsu, what’s the point?

3. Check the cost. Is the therapist within your budget? There’s a wide price range for each type of massage, and some are more expensive than others (such as prenatal and hot stone).  For example, I can pay $50 to $180 for a 60-minute massage within ten miles of my home!

4. Find a convenient location. If the therapist is amazing, but her location isn’t convenient to your home or office, you may not go as often as you need to. Some therapists will come to you, so be on the lookout for that perk if you have an especially hectic schedule.

5.  Make sure the therapist listens and adapts to your comfort level. A massage can be great, or it can be grueling. I’ve had therapists who couldn’t give me enough pressure, and those who worked so hard I couldn’t breathe. Both situations make for a miserable hour!

With the variety of techniques available, let’s wade through what you’re most likely to find on any given menu of spa services.

Swedish

Photo by Ronald Schuster

If you’re looking for calmness and relaxation, Swedish massage may be the technique you’re looking for. This method of massage uses gentle strokes following the flow of blood to the heart. It sometimes uses light kneading, friction, tapping and stretching.

Generally, the therapist will use massage oil during a Swedish massage, so be sure to mention if you have a nut allergy (some therapists mix almond oil into a carrier oil). Also, mention if you’re averse to any particular fragrance, such as lavender.

If you want to be nurtured and get some trouble spots worked, this may be the type of massage for you. Personally, I could sleep through a massage of this kind, and many people do. It’s generally performed on a massage table, and you will undress to your level of comfort (underclothes only to fully nude).

If you’re a bit shy, I got a great tip from a friend who is a massage therapist. Always turn away from the therapist when they’re holding the sheet for you. That way you don’t flash the therapist and you keep yourself a bit more covered.

Deep Tissue

Photo by dcarson924

This is my favorite massage, getting deep into the muscles and fascia. It’s sometimes called “sports massage” because it’s great for athletes, and the pressure is, as you can imagine, firm to “intense.”  I tell my therapist that it’s not too much until I can’t breathe (and this has happened)!

Deep tissue massage is a great way to relieve trigger points. The thing that will likely cause the greatest degree of pain is when the therapist is working to break down a trigger point and is moving against the grain of the muscle. Effective, but painful!

This type of massage is also done as nude as you feel comfortable and uses oils. It’s great for stiff necks and shoulders, as well as lower back pain. These are the areas most of us carry tension, so if you’re game to give deep tissue a try, talk to a massage therapist.

Communication with the person working on you is the absolute most essential part of this form of massage therapy, as people vary greatly in the pressure they prefer. Whether it’s too much or not enough, be sure to speak up!

It’s normal to be sore for a day or two after a deep tissue massage, as the muscles are releasing toxins. It’s important to drink extra fluids to facilitate moving these wastes out of your system.

Shiatsu

Photo by Lars Plougmann

Shiatsu is a type of acupressure massage developed in Japan. It’s supposed to help align your energy meridians and enhance the flow of Qi (also known as Chi or Ki).

During your first shiatsu massage, the practitioner will interview you and deeply probe your belly to determine the health of your internal organs and identify where your Qi is blocked.

Shiatsu is performed fully clothed, generally on a mat on the floor. It can be done on a massage table, but part of the beauty of this type is massage is allowing the therapist’s body weight to assist in the stretching portions. Don’t be surprised to feel elbows, knees or feet working your meridians!

Shiatsu massage is generally gentle, and will not use oils. Your best bet, in my experience, is to ask around at an Asian-owned establishment. This is where I’ve found the best prices and practitioners while avoiding the seedy places that advertise on highway billboards.

Prenatal

Prenatal massage is great for helping the body release extra fluid and relieve the minor aches and pains associated with pregnancy. It can help relieve sciatica, edema and muscle pain.

Generally, this type of massage is performed side-lying with a body pillow between the knees to help reduce pressure on the lower back. It’s best to avoid the tables with a cut-out for the belly, as this puts undue stress on both the lower back and the uterine ligaments.

As with other aspects of wellness in your pregnancy, please be sure to discuss prenatal massage with your health care provider. Also be sure to choose a therapist who is certified in prenatal massage, which isn’t standard in every program.

You’ll be hard pressed (har har) to find someone to do more than moderate pressure at most (and if you DO find someone in Atlanta, leave me a comment with the phone number). It’s relaxing, but I haven’t gotten any significant pain relief from prenatal massages.

Thai

Photo by Thomas Wanhoff

Thai massage has some similarities to shiatsu in that it is performed clothed and close to the ground. Thai massage is based on the body, mind and spirit. It also uses dynamic stretching and energy meridians. These meridians are different from Chinese  and Japanese medicine, because in Thai medicine the energy isn’t connected to the recipient’s internal organs.

I hope you’ve been practicing your yoga, because in Thai massage the body is often manipulated into yoga positions by the practitioner.

Thai massages are long—really, really long. They tend to be about two hours, sometimes more. The entire body is worked and the therapist will often do things you won’t get in other types of massage, like cracking your knuckles and walking on your back.

The pressure is something that might catch you off guard at first, but give it a moment. If you can’t relax into the massage, then speak up. It’s wholly different than the massages most Americans are accustomed to, so give it a chance.

Final Thoughts

Photo by Thomas Wanhoff

If cost is a concern, you’ve got a couple of options.

First, some massage is covered by insurance, especially those performed in a physical therapy or chiropractor’s office. Be sure to check with your insurance company for eligibility and to find someone covered by your plan.

Second, you may be able to find a good massage therapy school in your area that has a clinic.  In my area, there are three massage therapy schools, and two of them take appointments. For very reasonable prices, you can get an hour’s massage.

The students will be monitored by instructors, but you’ll need to be even more vocal about what pressure you like. It’s great to take advantage of this discount (about 50% around here), but I’d recommend knowing what you like first.

Massage is extremely personal, and what one person likes will be entirely unacceptable to another. I hope you’ll use the information in this guide to find something that works for you!

Additional Reading on GenXXL

• On a Roll: Myofascial Release Exercises
• Body and Health Podcast — Week 5
• Massage: An Important Part of Training and Competition

Photo from: ESPN

My routine on the internet includes a look at all the major league sites:  NFL, NBA, MLB, etc.  Well, that usually produces a funny look from me and a minor story idea.  However, some days the story ideas are pretty major.  Today is one of those days.

Here’s the headline amongst the other headlines on NFL.com:

Cardinals agree to terms with Feely; Rackers out as Kicker.

I know that if you’re a casual sports fan you might not find the signing of a kicker very interesting.  I know who Jay Feely is and I know who Neil Rackers is.  I also know that every time there’s “kicker movement” some NFL gets itself into trouble.

I know that the Cardinals should be much more concerned with the retirement of Kurt Warner and the Anquan Boldin trade.  I know that they should be worried about shoring up their weak defense.  I know they have issues.

But the release of Neil Rackers and the signing of Jay Feely will likely serve as a cautionary tale for other teams.  I know who these two guys are and the Cardinals are about to be in trouble.

What Did Neil Rackers Ever Do To You?

Neil never did anything to the Cards. Photo from: Zimbio

Neil Rackers wasn’t the greatest kicker in the history of the league, but he’s very good.  For his career he’s made 78% of his Field Goal attempts.  That’s not bad considering some of those are surely blocks–not his fault–and he spent 8 seasons playing for crappy Bengals and Cardinals teams.

Rackers never sank his team and he never “lost” a game.  Yes, it would have been nice of him to make the Field Goal at the end of regulation in the Wild Card Game this year.  Oh well.  The Cards won the game anyways on a fluke play.

Just this season he hit 94% of his Field Goals and only missed one extra-point.  Surely his performance this season was not a deciding factor in his release.  So, what is it?

It’s that “The Grass Is Greener” syndrome that I talked about last week.  Teams think that a guy’s getting old and they need someone new.  Familiarity breeds contempt and the team wants to move on.

I can almost understand that.  If a dude–like Rackers–is 33 and you want some “young blood” I can handle that.  Rackers will land on his feet and the team gets what it wants.

What I can’t handle is the “syndrome”.  It makes teams do things they’ll regret later.  The Cardinals did just that.

They signed Jay Feely.

Jay Feely Is Not Who You Think He Is

Jay Feely isn't special. Photo from: Jeffircink

Jay Feely landed with the Falcons in 2001 to have the privilege of playing on crappy teams just like Rackers.  Feely, however, had the privilege of going to the NFC Title Game in 2004 with the Falcons.  Then he kicked for wretched 2007 Dolphins.  Then some good Giants teams.

This past season he was with the Jets–one of the best teams in the league.  Yes, he’s hit 81.6% of his Field Goals, but last season he only hit 83.3%.  Oh, and he’s 33.

So, he’s the same age as Rackers, he has less NFL experience, and he had a worse season last year.  But the Cards are letting Rackers go to get him.

Do we see how this is bothersome?  The Cards are assuming–stupidly–that because Feely was with the Jets last year that he’ll somehow bring that “winningness” to Arizona.

Kickers don’t work that way.  They come out and kick the ball and go sit back on the bench.  Continuity is more important in this case.  The Jets shouldn’t have let Feely go, and the Cards shouldn’t have signed him.

Both of those teams need continuity and now they will both get into trouble by changing around their kickers.  Both teams are fixing something that ain’t broken.

How Does That Equal Trouble?

That's the look of defeat. Photo from: Beloblog

I remember quite distinctly two kicking moves of the past decade.

1.  Mike Vanderjagt to the Cowboys from Indy.

2.  Adam Vinatieri to the Colts from the Patriots.

The Cowboys took on Vanderjagt because everyone was playing up his athleticism.  He played Quarterback in High School and College and that made him the “sexy” kicker in the NFL.

Vinatieri only won 3 Super Bowls for the Patriots.  He could have been elected Governor of Massachusetts after the 2004 Super Bowl.  He was a Northeastern hero.

The Patriots let Vinatieri go because they aren’t loyal to anybody. They haven’t won a championship since.  Kickers don’t equal titles, but Adam Vinatieri equalled confidence.

The Patriots still don’t have it.  They took a 4th and 2 against Indy this past season and botched it–because their confidence left with Vinatieri.

The Cowboys continued their streak of losing playoff games and they cut Vanderjagt loose after one season.

That is trouble.  Big trouble.

Will the Cards and Jets end up in trouble?  Most likely, yes.  I like the Jets to go to the Super Bowl next year, but you saw what happened when New England and Dallas screwed around at Kicker.

This does not inspire any confidence in me.

Change Ahead Photo from Flickr User David Reece

It happens to everyone at some point.  You have an injury.  You become pregnant.  Your body rebels.  You hit the wall.  Whatever it is, there’s an “it” for everyone.

I know quite a few people who were into health and fitness at one point; running marathons, playing competitive tennis, lifting weights, and then something happened.  Their worst-case scenario happened, and they quit.

Change Up or Chicken Out?

Rubber Chicken Photo from WundergroundMagicShop.com

What makes the difference between someone who packs it in and gets flabby and complacent versus someone who finds something new?

Two things, I think.  First, having a vision.  For me, this is partly about confidence in my body’s abilities and partly about having some experience other than my “main” sport.

Second, a change of mind.  I think we all have a pity party when we can’t do the thing we thought was most fulfilling in fitness.   The key is to snap out of it before that pity party takes root in your brain and becomes your dominant thought pattern.

When I got back into fitness after my third child was born, my primary focus was to run a marathon.  I was going to run for Team In Training, which benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

The first few days were fine.  I joined a gym to have access to treadmills when the Atlanta summer heat got to be too much.  I got up to about 4 miles at a time when “it” happened.

My left knee just gave out.  Wouldn’t run.  Wouldn’t bend.  Wouldn’t do anything but swell to both a grandiose and grotesque representation of its true size.

Was I going to give up and go back to being a couch potato, still 80 lbs. overweight?  No way in hell.  I’d made up my mind, and I was going to get back in shape no matter what.

Now, before you start to think that I have some amazing power of will that you lack, I don’t.  But when I make a decision, the decision is made.  You bet your sweet sneakers that I’m going to do everything I can to do what I said I’d do.

Need some motivation of your own?  Here are five ways to kick yourself back into gear.

Give Up Your Rigid Idea of Fitness

She's in Great Shape Photo from OfficialFitnessandHealth.com

If you fall in one of the camps that says, “only runners are athletes”, “only bodybuilders are athletes”, “only swimmers are athletes”, you’re missing a whole world of fitness.

Sure, I thought that those gym bunnies were a little, um, plastic, but it turns out that you can get yourself into amazing shape in group exercise.  Who knew?

I discovered this after taking months off from running to help my knees heal.  I was dropping weight, but they weren’t getting much better.  I still wore a brace to step and kickboxing classes, as well as dance.

One day I was crazy stressed and just needed to run.  I decided to lace up and hit the road and take a nice run.  When I got back, I plugged the data into mapmyrun.com, and it turned out that I’d run almost 6 miles.

As a non-runner before April, 2008, that was a huge surprise, especially because I’d only made it to 4 miles before “it”.

Look For New Changes In Your Body

A Tape Measure Isn't the Only Measure Photo from Soloflex.com

I was finally thin, but my body was struggling with some serious overuse injuries last year.  My knees, hip flexors, and shoulders were in constant revolt, and I hurt even at rest.

I knew that I needed to change my routine and let my body heal, but giving up on my workouts altogether wasn’t an option.  Instead, I decided to shift my focus from cardio to weight lifting.

As first I did 3 days a week.  Having noticed some big changes in just three weeks, I switched to two 2-day splits.  My body was morphing before my eyes.

I gained about 15 lbs of muscle in 5 months naturally (which is pretty respectable for a small woman).  I gained a size but looked smaller.  I fell in love with my biceps and showed them off any chance I got.  It was beautiful.

Of course, now I’m pregnant and can’t lift like I was.  You know what?  I’m still looking for changes in my body.  They’re different, to be sure, but  not bad.  I know I can do this again, and I’m sort of excited to take off the post-baby weight.

Train Yourself To Remember Past Successes

If Weird Al Has Message Boards... Photo from Blogs.knoxnews.com

I had a BLAST losing 90 lbs in nine months after number three was born.  People thought I was crazy, but I had a goal and I was intent on achieving it.

If you’re struggling to find the belief that you can do it, I suggest recalling your past successes.

What have you done well in your life that others didn’t expect of you?  What have you done well that you didn’t even expect of yourself?

If this is your first step into finding personal success, you’ve got two options, and I suggest you take both.  You can decide to believe in yourself, no matter what.

There are great ways to motivate yourself.  One is a goal poster.  Perhaps a reward system.  Some people actually do well with consequences for missing goals (I’m SO not one of those).

The second thing is to get some support.  If you don’t have support from family and friends, find an online community with similar interests.

For example, the forums here at GenXXL are great for bodybuilding, lots of information.  The message boards at Runnersworld.com are great for novices.

This is the internet, people.  There’s even a message board for fans of Weird Al Yancovic.

Develop A Mantra

Develop a Mantra That Works For You! Photo fromDaisyJanie.typepad.com

Notice I said “develop”, not “create”.  Creating may work for some people, but if it doesn’t come naturally, you’re not likely to use it.

One day, I was running up what I call Heinous Hill.  This is the last thing that I see on my 10k runs in my neighborhood.  It taunts me, telling me I’m too sweaty and exhausted.  You know the type.

I can already taste my green smoothie and feel the shower beating down on my back.   But before I can stretch, rest, and drink, I have to get up this hill.

I had been defeated by Heinous Hill in the past.  I’d walked it more times than I cared to count, sapped by the heat and humidity of  Atlanta summer.  This day, however, I heard this little voice that said, “There’s more to you than this”.

Slightly surprised, I heard it again.  “There is MORE to you than this”.  Really?  More?  To me?  I made it up that hill, and have never walked it since.  Hell, I sprinted the last few hundred yards, just to show it who was boss.

When fitness got tough, I would hear “There is MORE to you than this” time and again, and it developed into my mantra.  I’ve also heard it in my head as “There’s more FOR you than this”, which pushes me unbelievably.

I can achieve greater goals than I have currently before.  I can do more, I can be more, I can get stronger.

The General would also like me to mention that I often say, “I’m not going to let _____ beat me”!  It’s completely true, I refuse to be beaten by a step in a step class, a hill on a run, or a dumbbell in the weight room.  Spoken with the proper incredulity-mixed-with-disgust, it works beautifully.

Set A Goal

No Excuses, No Regrets, Go DO Something! Photo from rlv.zcache.com

We talked about setting and achieving goals back in February.  Goals still need to be SMART.  Specific.  Measurable.  Actionable.  Reasonable.  Time-bound.

If you’re getting into running, pick a 5k to participate in.  If you’ve decided to start lifting weights, set a goal to lift 25% more than you are on day one by such and such a date.

Setting a goal keeps you focused on the task at hand, one chunk at a time.  It keeps you accountable, especially when you share your goal with others.  I shout from the rooftops what I plan to do (half marathon six months post-partum, anyone?) because people will ask me about it.

No excuses.  No regrets.  Get out there and amaze yourself today.

Is Mike "Doing His Best" or is he a pawn in "Pointless Offseason Moves"? Photo from: Zimbio

We’ve got teams scrambling left and right to make moves in this offseason that will benefit them.  Are they really doing the “right thing” –as Spike Lee would say?

My take on all of this can be summed up in a sentence:  Don’t rock the boat unless you have to.

Teams always tell the media things like, “We’re evaluating every part of organization” and “Anything less than a Championship is a failure”.  Are those things always true?

Have we really become such a “Succubae Sports Fan Base” that we need to have teams fall on the sword every year when we don’t get our way?  Do they really have to cater to us that much?

I remember the days when the teams:  Did their best, the coaches coached their best, and the chips fell where they might.  Archie Manning is a Hall of Famer and he played on pitiful Saints teams, but they really were—I believe—doing their best.

At what point did “doing your best” simply become “not enough”?  And why do a couple teams still operate the “old way” while everyone else operates the “new way”?

What makes the “old fashioned” teams different that the “hip” teams?  I bet we can find many of our answers in the words of Coaches and Team Executives.

Cowboys May Move Jones Ahead of Barber

Jerry Jones moves for the sake of moving. Photo from: Morris.com

Jerry Jones spoke to the media the other day.  Don’t forget that he’s the Cowboys’ Owner, President, and General Manager.  He made some comments about the depth chart.

Jerry was asked if Felix Jones might start over Marion Barber and he said, “That has been a consideration, and it certainly is a consideration.”

For me that sounds like code for “We didn’t win the Super Bowl so we’ve GOT to do something”.  Coaches and GM’s talk like this all the time for no reason.

In Atlanta, Jim Mora started the whole “The Entire Organization Is Subject To Review” thing.  That ultimately got him fired.  Plus, it meant moving pieces around and causing a regression from his NFC Title Game rookie campaign to 7-9.

Jerry Jones putting Felix Jones ahead of Marion Barber only does two things:

1.    It pisses off Marion Barber, and
2.    Makes everyone on the team unsure of their status.

Don’t the Ravens have 3 viable running backs just like the Cowboys?  Are they shuffling their depth chart?  They didn’t win the Super Bowl either.  What’s the difference?

The only reason to say you are “Re-evaluating the whole organization” is to get the media and fans off your back.  It would be a lot more profitable to say, “We’re going work hard on the draft and in free-agency to make the team better”.

This doesn’t involve hurt feelings or shuffling players you already have.  If someone isn’t working out you deal with them individually—not in this corporate “Everybody’s on the chopping block” fashion.

Jerry Jones is making a move on his own players just to make a move.  If it were more calculated—like the Steelers—then it might work.

Steelers Give Backup Batch 2-year Deal

Charlie has a purpose in Pittsburgh. Photo by: Marc Serotta @ Getty Images

The Steelers signed backup Quarterback Charlie Batch to a two-year deal.  He supposed to be competing with Dennis Dixon to be the #2 to Ben Roethlisberger.

Not only has Batch been with Pittsburgh since 2003, but he’s also their player representative.  If something happens and Big Ben is suspended or worse the Steelers will have done their best to make sure they are ok at the QB position.

They didn’t go into crisis/panic mode.  They didn’t spend a ton of money on a free-agent or leverage their future on a draft pick.  They just kept everything close to the vest and did their best.

By the way their “best” in Pittsburgh has netted them 6 Super Bowl titles in 7 appearances.  More than any other franchise.  Do we hear them jumping up to the mic every offseason ranting and raving about retooling the whole team and that “anything less than a title is a failure”?

No.  They know these things and the players convey that disappointment when they lose.  However, they also say they’re going to work hard next year and do their best.

Nobody does their “best” like the Steelers.  Jim Mora could have taken a lesson here in Atlanta.  Instead of trying to placate the media and fans he could have just said, “We’ll do our darnedest”.

Sometimes, that’s all the fans want.  Look at all the teams that aren’t even trying, but copy the “big moves” of a Dallas.

Oakland, Kansas City, Detroit, Cleveland—this pretty much says it all.  They’re copying the wrong team.  Each of these franchises thinks saying the right thing and spending money makes fans happy.  They’re wrong.

Genuine concerted effort, wise decision-making and fiscal responsibility makes fans happy.  Cleveland had to revamp almost its whole team.  Oakland needs to be sold.  K.C. leveraged their future on a damaged QB, and Detroit fans staged a walkout.

Need I say more?

49ers and McClaughan Have a “Mutual Parting”

They just wanted to own a team--too bad they suck at it! Photo from: JAMD

Then there are the teams who used to know what to do and then they got stupid.  This brand of team completely ignores what WAS working and tries to do something else in spite of itself.

The 49ers were taken over by these York jackasses and they screwed it up—royally.  When they got Mike Singletary and things started to turn around they decided they didn’t like their GM.

So, instead of keeping the team stable they are pulling the rug out from underneath their coach because of front office “squabble”.

The Denver Broncos worked fine under Mike Shanahan—then they brought in Josh McDaniels and let him set fire to Jay Cutler.  He undermined the integrity of their entire team as he “tried” to mimic the actions of Bill Belichick.

Why would you change everything around when this franchise has been just fine for about 30 years?

Do you ever wonder if the 49ers look around and say, “Where did we go wrong”?  They had it all.  They WERE the dynasty.  Now they’re just trying to make the playoffs.

They weren’t doing their “best” after the DiBartolos were kicked out.  The Yorks were happy the won and never once thought about how much work Eddie DiBartolo and Carmen Policy put into this team.

In 12 months they undid 20 years worth of work.  The DiBartolos and Policy did what the Rooneys are doing in Pittsburgh.  The Yorks just wanted to own a team.

Dan Snyder is the same way.  He isn’t truly doing his best.  He just wanted to own a team.  He wanted to have his ego stroked.

Spending money—per the Steelers—doesn’t just “work” on its own.  You have to make smart decisions.  Dan Snyder saw the Florida Marlins and said “I want that”.

What he—and his ilk—don’t realize is that their “best” also includes hiring good decision-makers.  Snyder finally did that when he hired Bruce Allen and Mike Shanahan.

But…

Clausen Visits

Jimmy might be a "pointless move" Photo from: NFL Draft Blog

Jimmy Clausen is going to visit with Buffalo, Jacksonville, Cleveland, St. Louis, AND Washington.

Why in the hell does Jimmy Clausen need to visit with the Redskins?  Does Mike Shanahan think his “best” is scrapping Jason Campbell and drafting ANOTHER 1st Round QB?

If Clausen goes to the Rams, Bills, or Browns that would be their best effort.  Their smartest move to help reshape and re-energize their franchises.

If Jacksonville takes him they aren’t trying—they’re just saying they don’t like David Garrard.  Plus, they’ll be throwing money away.

This makes all the difference folks.  Cleveland, St. Louis, and Buffalo NEED a Quarterback.  That’s their best move.  That’s a smart option.

Jacksonville and Washington WANT a Quarterback.  That isn’t their best move—it’s just a move.

The Steelers don’t take what they want—they take what they need.  Doing your best is using what you need and staying away from your wants.

The Steelers NEED stability at Quarterback.  The Redskins WANT a new Quarterback.  Jerry Jones WANTS to shake-up his running back corps.  The Rams NEED a new Quarterback.  The Chiefs WANTED a new Quarterback.

Wants and needs are different.  For every workshop the NFL gives players on how to handle their money they should give one for executives too.

They should call it “How to control your urges”.  Wouldn’t it be funny if the presenter was Dan Rooney?

Eat! Lettering by Gyongy Laky; Photograhped by Dwight Eschliman

It’s time, it’s time!  We’re two days away from the official beginning of spring, and I’m ready to start harvesting that beautiful produce for my meals!  Let’s check out some of the best ingredients and how to use them.

Why Buy In Season?

Produce! Photo from greensweetz.com

From your wallet to your waistline, buying in-season produce can benefit you.

First, price.  When you eat a great deal of produce, it can get costly.  We spend fully 2/3 of our grocery budget on fruits and vegetables, and we buy almost exclusively in season.   Although we enjoy bananas year-round, you won’t catch me spending $5 a pint on raspberries out of season!

As much as I love those ruby orbs of joy, I can’t justify spending that sort of cash when I could easily get six pounds of oranges for the same price in late winter.

Second, flavor.  A winter peach usually comes from Chile.  From Atlanta, Santiago is approximately 4100 miles away.

From the time produce is picked until it lands in your local market, you can expect to lost many nutrients.   It is almost always picked underripe to ensure a long shelf life for the journey, which is often many weeks.

In the case of tomatoes, they’re picked when still green.  Then they’re gassed, literally, with ethylene to make then appear red for purchase.  Have you ever tasted a tomato picked from the garden, still warm from the sun?  Contrast that with the  the greenish pinkish reddish thing you get at Target and tell me there’s any comparison at all.

Third, variety.  When you purchase in-season produce, you’ll probably learn to buy things you’ve never tried before.  The variety of greens available, for instance, is a surprise to many people.  Dinosaur kale, anyone? Rainbow chard?

The environmental considerations must be taken into account, as well.  According to Gaiam Life, “transporting produce sometimes requires irradiation (zapping the produce with a burst of radiation to kill germs) and preservatives (such as wax) to protect the produce which is subsequently refrigerated during the trip. While no definitive study quantifies the impact of these treatments,  there is good reason to believe that eating local is really the safer option.”

Best Ways To Get Your Produce

Fresh, Ripe berries! Photo from Sgaf.co.za

Community Supported Agriculture: Far and away my favorite way to get produce is the CSA.  Visit Localharvest.org to find a CSA that’s close to you.

The nearest one to me is about 55 miles, but they deliver to a farmer’s market about six miles from my house.  We just stop by on Saturday mornings and pick up our box.

CSA has introduced me to so many varieties of produce that I’d never tried.  Ramps, for example.  They’re wild leeks, and taste amazing in just about everything.

In the same vein, we often visit U-pick farms in the summer.  Each has a different way of doing things, but we end up picking blueberries and figs each year, and sometimes muscadine grapes.

In Ohio (where I’m from) you can pick strawberries fresh and warm from the fields.  I picked blackberries as a child in our backyard, and there’s nothing better than eating something you harvested yourself.

Farmer’s markets: Hands down the best way to spend a Saturday morning is at our local farmer’s market.  There are quite a few around us, but one that we visit most frequently.  I buy loads of greens, tomatoes, peaches, and peppers there.

I’m also completely taken with the raw goat’s milk cheeses, local honey, and handmade soaps.  The kids love the cupcakes (no surprise there), and I’ve been known to indulge in some local lemonade!

Small local grocers: While not quite as green as CSA and farmer’s markets, independent grocers are still a great choice.  They’re not in huge supply in the Atlanta area, so I sometimes resort to larger chain stores.  One of those is Whole Foods.  They’re committed to local produce where possible, and I appreciate that.

Backyard garden: Never underestimate the value of growing your own food.  There’s no cheaper, fresher, more educational way to eat!  Now, some people don’t have the sun, the space, or the time for large-scale gardening, and I understand this.

However, it takes literally seconds to water a pot of herbs you bought at the garden store.  Imagine how wonderful it is to grab a handful of chives, basil, or rosemary to add to your dinner.  It’s a beautiful thing!

Depending on your part of the country, these foods are ready now or will be in the next four weeks or so.  I’ve picked out some of my favorites which correspond to some wonderful recipes.  I can’t wait to start cooking!

Asparagus

Roasted Asparagus Photo from FoodNetwork.com

Why eat it?  Asparagus is delicious and easy to prepare.  It’s high in folic acid, vitamin C, and vitamin A.  My favorite preparation is roasting.

Snap off the ends (they’ll naturally break a couple of inches from the bottom), toss in a bit of olive oil and salt.  I like to squeeze half a lemon over 1 lb, then roast at 425 for 12-15 minutes.

I serve this with quinoa with pine nuts.  If I’m feeling really hungry, I also like some summer squash sauteed in olive oil with onions and garlic on the side.

Quinoa Pilaf with Pine Nuts

from FoodNetwork.com, serves 6 as a side dish

• 1 cup quinoa, rinsed
• 2 cups low-sodium chicken broth or vegetable broth
• 1/4 cup pine nuts
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/2 large onion, chopped (I prefer Vidalia)
• 1/3 cup chopped fresh parsley leaves
• Salt and pepper

Put the broth and quinoa in a medium sized saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer, cover and cook for 15 to 20 minutes, until liquid is absorbed and grain is tender.

Meanwhile, toast the nuts in a large dry skillet over medium-high heat until golden brown and fragrant, about 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Remove nuts from pan and set aside.

Heat the oil in the same skillet over a medium-high heat. Add the onions and cook stirring occasionally, until the onions soften and begin to brown, about 6 minutes.

When the quinoa is done, fluff with a fork and transfer to a large serving bowl. Stir in the pine nuts, onions, and parsley. Season with salt and pepper and serve.

Spinach and Strawberries

Strawberry Spinach Salad Photo from Mediabonnit.net

Two of my favorite foods on the planet are spinach and strawberries.  You likely already know how I feel about greens.

Spinach in particular has more beta carotene than any produce except for carrots and parsley.  It contains vitamins B1-B6, folate, as well as vitamins C, E, and K.

Strawberries are my favorite food of childhood.  We had a patch in our side yard, and I was charged with picking the ripe ones.  It was just as well, I ate almost all of them myself, anyhow.

While they weren’t the genetically modified monsters you see now, they were firm and delicious and perfect for eating out of hand.

Because of my belief that raw food is generally more nutritious than its cooked counterpart, I love spinach strawberry salad to combine these two ingredients.

Spinach and Strawberry Salad

Modified from AllRecipes.com

• 2 tablespoons sesame seeds
• 1 tablespoon poppy seeds
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 1/3 cup olive oil
• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar (or more if you like a lot of vinegar)
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (or soy sauce for vegans)
• 1 tablespoon minced onion, preferably red
• 10 ounces fresh spinach – rinsed, dried and torn into bite-size pieces
• 1 quart strawberries – cleaned, hulled and sliced
• 1/4 cup almonds, blanched and slivered

1. In a medium bowl, whisk together the sesame seeds, poppy seeds, sugar, olive oil, vinegar, paprika, Worcestershire sauce and onion. Or, you may also toss this in the blender for fast and easy prep.  Cover, and chill for one hour.
2. In a large bowl, combine the spinach, strawberries and almonds. Pour dressing over salad, and toss. Refrigerate 10 to 15 minutes before serving.

Rhubarb

Red Rhubard Photo from Americanfeast.com

Have you ever eaten rhubarb?  Let me rephrase, have you ever eaten rhubarb apart from a strawberry-rhubarb pie?  Rhubarb is actually a vegetable, which looks like red celery.

The leaves are poisonous, so DO NOT EAT THEM.  However, the stalks are totally edible.  You’d generally only see them in dessert applications, and perhaps the occasional chutney.

I got a wonderful tip from HealthCastle.com, which was to blanch the rhubarb and use it in salsa.  What a great way to add nutrition to your salsa recipes!

Rhubarb is high in vitamin K, calcium, fiber, vitamin C, manganese, and potassium.  Why wouldn’t you eat it?  If it’s the sour flavor you’re intimidated by, have I got a recipe for you.  It’s not your typical strawberry-rhubarb jam or muffin, it’s actually a savory application.  Wonder of wonders!

I got this recipe from the New York Times dining section (highly suggested for any foodie).

Lentil and Rhubarb Stew With Indian Spices

Serves 4

• 3 or 4 stalks rhubarb, strings removed, chopped
• 1 cup orange lentils, well washed
• 2rn tablespoons minced ginger
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 4 cardamom pods
• 1 tablespoon mustard seeds
• 2 cloves
• 1 teaspoon cracked black pepper
• 1 dried ancho or other mild chili, optional
• Salt
• Chopped cilantro leaves for garnish

Combine all ingredients except salt and cilantro in a saucepan and add water to cover by about 1 inch. Cook at a steady simmer until lentils and rhubarb are quite soft, 20 to 30 minutes. Remove cloves and, if you like, cardamom pods. Add salt, then taste and adjust seasoning. Garnish with cilantro and serve.

Pineapple

Grilled Pineapple Photo from KitchenProject.com

One of my very favorite foods, pineapple is a dream come true.  It’s got amazing levels of vitamin C, and loads of fiber plus calcium, potassium, and manganese.

The other thing that’s so amazing about pineapple is the bromelain.  It’s an enzyme that helps with digestion and can help loosen mucus.

I take pineapple enzymes (or papaya enzymes) when I’m eating a meal that’s mostly cooked food.

A friend of mine suffers from lupus and was on a $150 per month prescription for heartburn.  I suggested the Trader Joe’s brand of enzymes, and even I was shocked at what happened.  Two weeks later she called me and said she was totally off the prescription and hadn’t felt so good since her diagnosis.

As for me, I tend to add pineapple to stir-fry and eat it in rings, but I’ve got a great dessert to share with you.  Grilled pineapple, yum delicious!

Grilled Pineapple Slices

Modified slightly from AllRecipes.com

• 1 fresh pineapple – peeled, cored and cut into rings
• 1/4 cup canned coconut milk
• 1/3 cup cinnamon sugar

1. Preheat a grill for medium heat. When the grill is hot, lightly oil the grate.
2. Place the coconut milk and cinnamon sugar into separate dishes. Dip slices of pineapple into coconut milk, then coat in cinnamon sugar.
3. Grill slices for 6 minutes on each side. Remove to plates, and serve.

I like to put a little toasted coconut on top.  This is more than sweet enough for me, but some people like to put a little vanilla ice cream or coconut sorbet on top.  Whatever works for you!

Be sure to check back next week, I’ll have some great healthy Easter recipes for you!

Photo from: Bratislava Photos

In today’s episode we find many NFL teams on the prowl for new talent.  Some players are hitting the street-corners looking for new homes, and the General is asking all the right questions…

Remember that show on USA—“Silk Stalkings”—I loved that show.  It was cool, and there WAS a lot of stalking in it, and some detective work too.  People following people who are following other people.  Very weird stuff.

The NFL’s not much different.

I’m not setting out to pick on the Broncos, but they made a stunning move this weekend.  They traded a fullback—Peyton Hillis—a 2011 6^th Rounder, and a 2012 conditional pick for Brady Quinn.

Why is this weird?  They wanted Quinn last year when they wanted to dump Jay Cutler on his ass, but Quinn was unavailable.  They went back to the scene of the crime this offseason and found Quinn in a chalk outline.

Mike Holmgren had just come on-board, he didn’t fire Eric Mangini, and he was cleaning house.  The Browns have Delhomme and they don’t need Quinn anymore.  Quinn wasn’t Holmgren’s mistake so it didn’t hurt him at all to send him packing.

For the Browns, it was a smart trade because they might get something valuable out of it.  For the Broncos it’s like chasing an unrequited love.  A love that is here now, but it doesn’t mean as much as it did last year.

Are NFL teams chasing the wrong guys?  Are they rewriting “Jane Eyre” over and over with every offseason?  I think so…

We’ll Follow You Until You Love Us

Joshie sees Quarterbacks... Photo from: NJ.com

Ever noticed how creepy Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” is?  She says, “I’ll follow you ‘til you love me”.  Um…yeah…creepy…stalker.  Anyways, this is how it feels with so many teams.

The Broncos wanted Quinn in 2009 and now they have him—in 2010.  I would say Quinn is the prime example of “Paparazzi” Syndrome in the NFL.  They followed him until his current team MADE him love the Broncos.

It’s no surprise that the Broncos took the bad trade for Quinn because they’d been stalking him since last year.  They were hoping that every Cleveland loss put them one step closer to being able to pick him up off the scrap-heap.

This is an odd way for NFL teams to watch football, but we know they do it.  They watch other teams and hope that they suck so that:

1. They can make the playoffs, and
2. They can pick up players off that team in a “fire sale”

You’d think that NFL teams would want to see good competition across the board, but they’ve come to terms with parity.  That means that NFL teams are HOPING other teams tank every season.

If you’re Denver and you’re just waiting for Cleveland to collapse you’re also wishing the Ravens into the playoffs ahead of you.  That’s what happened this season—I hope it was worth it.

I’ll Follow Them Until They Love Me

Photo from: The Mesh Life

In the age of free-agency and posturing players stalk teams too.  Who’s the most notable example?

T.O. refusing a trade to Baltimore so he could maneuver his way up to Philly tops the list.  He stalked the Eagles and Donovan McNabb for weeks to make his way in there—and it worked!

What did Julius Peppers do?  He stalked the Bears and other teams that wanted him the past few years by being unhappy in Carolina.

Every player who gripes his way out of town isn’t giving his best in his current location and cannot be fully trusted in his new location.  This trend is creating an entire generations of players who cannot be trusted.

What did Michael Vick do?  He stalked the Panthers through the media.  He said:

“Well, you know, it’s close to home. I like the uniforms. You get to play against Atlanta twice a year. Ain’t nothing better than playing against your former team, right? So, yeah, that would be a good look, it would be a good look.”

Not only did he sound like a fool, but he put the Eagles, the Panthers, Jake Delhomme, and himself in a bad position.  If teams have rules they need to have rules against “media stalking”.

Teams do it all the time when they leak rumors about wanting “this coach” or “that coach” so why aren’t players held to the same standard?  Why aren’t players told to keep their mouths shut—and their agents too?

If Mike Moore—the Panthers new starter—blew out his knee tomorrow don’t you think Vick would be back on the air?  You bet he would.

We’ll Work You Out Until You Love Us

Eli no want to play for Chargers Photo from: CNN

With the combine gone and only pro days left we have teams fawning over prospects in the same manner as free agents.  They work these kids out or visit them at “pro days” AND they play nice.

No one wants an Eli Manning or a John Elway situation.  No one wants to be told a player won’t play for them so they engage in fakery.  They’re overly nice to the kids they want to draft in the hopes that the kid will think everything is peachy.

This is why you see so much “media stalking” by players.  They were told one thing then experienced another after they were drafted.

Now, I don’t feel sorry for over-privileged millionaires who’ve never played a down.  However, I can see how someone can get disillusioned because “The Ritz” wasn’t the “Real McCoy”.

The same thing happens with free-agents.  Down here in Atlanta they take free-agents to Bones—a local steakhouse—and “wine and dine” them.

I even heard Dunta Robinson—the Falcons newest Cornerback—say that after they took him out that he felt like they wanted him.  Honestly, a handshake and a look-in-the-eye should have been enough.

We’ll “Contract Negotiate” You Until You Love Us

Photo from: Sel.co.uk

Now that the owners and the league have this to go on for a while we’re going to have to talk this thing out.

The owners want to have power to make more money.  The players want the power to stalk teams in the media and make money.  The union wants to protect the players but knows it’s in a bad spot.

Oh, and the league knows this could blow up in their face.

Basically, I think the owners are angling on “negotiating” the players until they love them again—until the players can appreciate how much money they make.

Now, I’m not crying for rich, over-privileged owners either, but the players are going to look bad if they are going to cry about being millionaires.  It’s just in bad taste.

Between the creepy stalking, the bad trades, and the impending negotiations I’d say we have a weird love triangle going on.

All of them love money; all of them love publicity, but who loves being right the most?  In the end, that’s going to make all the difference—and maybe a restraining order or two.

A "break" is not an awards show appearance! Photo from: The Basketball Blogger

So, the Lakers and the Heat were tangling the other day and the Lakers were down pretty much most of the game.  The game went into overtime and Twitter exploded with tweets of every kind talking about the game.

Some guys were going nuts that the Lakers might lose.  Others were going crazy because the Heat might win.  Me—I wasn’t THAT concerned.  I started yapping:

let’s reserve the smack talk for the #lakers until the playoffs when it really matters

Then I took a shot across my bow that really made me think:

Lets hope the Lakers keep playing like it doesn’t matter until the playoffs

So, do any teams in the NBA have the luxury of playing like it doesn’t matter until the playoffs?  Are there any teams that CAN’T afford to lose?  Are there teams where it doesn’t matter one way or the other?

The “shot” was intended as an insult for the Lakers.  Basically, “Let’s hope they keep sucking so they’ll suck in the playoffs”, but they clearly deliver just fine in the playoffs.

Let’s look at a few groups of teams that fall into different categories of the “needing to win NOW” debate.

We Have No Business Being Here

Even Jay-Z has no excuse here. Photo from: The Starting Five

This class has no business even fielding a team—much less caring whether they win.  Could you imagine a scenario in which any of these teams–New Jersey, Minnesota, New York, Sacramento, Indy, Detroit, Golden State, the Clippers, Milwaukee, Philly, or Washington—can even have full-confidence that they could beat a college team?

I’m being serious.  These teams don’t mean a thing in the landscape of playoff basketball—other than desperately-stupid trades.

Let’s take a vote.  Would any of you miss any of these teams if they were contracted today?  Yes, even the Knicks and the Pistons.

Joe Dumars has run Detroit into the ground and the Knicks will NEVER be the same.  Neither has a chance at LeBron and each is poorly managed.

Tanking wouldn’t make any difference because the lottery is so screwed up anyways—and possibly rigged—so why do they even bother trying?  For personal pride?  I might be able to live with the “personal pride thing”.

Not only do they have no business being in the gym, but I can’t even get myself up to fight for them on the basis of playing “for the love of the game”.  That’s how bad these teams suck!

We Want This But We Don’t NEED It

Jordan Rules still apply Photo from: We Are The Postmen

These teams would LIKE to keep winning, but it doesn’t really matter.  The playoffs might mean a “little” something to a few, but it just isn’t that serious.

Houston, Miami, Charlotte, Memphis, New Orleans, Chicago, and Toronto are ALL in the unique position of not desperately needing anything.  These teams will somehow subsist on nothingness for decades to come.

The Bulls can live on MJ’s 6 titles FOREVER.  Miami can survive on the one “steal” they got against the Mavs in The Finals.

Memphis will ALWAYS be just intriguing enough to not have to actually win anything.  New Orleans will live on CP3 for the foreseeable decade, and Toronto will always sign a big name and hate Canada at the same time.

Oh, the Rockets, they’ll ALWAYS be linked to Hakeem’s back-to-back titles while Jordan was playing baseball—or whatever he was doing.

True, they may want it, but they don’t NEED it.  Daryl Morey can crunch all the numbers he wants in Houston, but he doesn’t really need to.  He could do half the work he’s doing now and he’d be just fine.

Charlotte just needs to have Jordan as their owner.  That’s all.  David Stern already pushed this thing through without a thought.  So, as long as he stays there then it’s all good.

You see how easy this is?  That’s why the league gets so top-heavy.  There are so many teams that just DON’T need it that bad.

We MUST Keep Winning

KD is the new LBJ. Photo from: OTR Sports

This is an intriguing group.  They can’t take a break and—for different reasons—they need to keep winning consistently.

San Antonio, Portland, Boston, Atlanta, OKC, and Utah are all in the position where they HAVE TO keep winning.  There are no options.

If San Antonio falls behind even a little they’ll get stuck in a bad playoff seeding and their “window” will close pretty fast.  Boston’s the same way.  They’ve got to do this now or else.

In both cases the Spurs and Celtics are one bad playoff loss away from blowing up their teams.  If they stop winning it’s OVER.

Atlanta, OKC, and Utah need to keep winning so they can keep improving.  Atlanta has improved every year under Mike Woodson.  Utah is this odd mix of young and old that can stay together for a long time.

OKC has Kevin Durant.  As long as his team keeps improving—he will too.  Let him improve long enough and he’ll probably reel off a few titles in a row.  Believe it.

Portland…Portland.  They drafted Greg Oden like idiots.  They had to rebuild around him.  They have to keep winning or the Rose Garden is going to be taken over by the Sierra Club and turned into a REAL Rose Garden.

They rehabilitated their “Jailblazers” image, but if they start losing they’ll piss off all their fans REALLY fast.  They don’t have to win titles, but they damn-well better be competitive.

The pressure for some of these teams to perform is intense.  For others it’s a motivation to get better.  What a strange league we watch!

We’re (Should Be) Taking A Fiver

Take a lesson LeBron. Photo from: Slam Online

The Lakers, Orlando, Dallas, Denver, Phoenix and Cleveland should all be taking a break.  These teams HAVE the luxury.  The luxury of taking a break.

Phoenix won’t take it because they’re still stinging over the breakdown in the ’93 Finals.

By the way, did you know Kevin Johnson is the Mayor of Sacramento?  I follow him on Twitter.  Always liked him!

Anyways, Phoenix can take a break because they’re Phoenix.  They play well.  They’ll win a playoff series if they get the right draw, but until then they can coast.

The Suns sort of straddle the “We Don’t Need It” category and this one.  Sure, they hate the ’93 Finals loss, but they can handle it.  Because they don’t NEED it they’ll take a break.

Orlando CAN hit a slump, not really care and be fine.  I was about tow rite them off when they let Atlanta catch up to them, but they keep coming on strong.  It’s impressive.  They get a break whenever they want.

Dallas can take a similar break to Phoenix, but they NEED it.  They can slack off for a few games, but they BETTER win something.  Mark Cuban is STILL pissed about losing the ’06 Finals.

You think he doesn’t remind them?

However, to counteract the pressure they’re good enough to relax every now and then.

Denver can pretty do anything they want.  They’ll play just fine and lose the Conference Finals to the Lakers again.  It doesn’t really matter what they do in the regular season.  We know their limits.

Then there are the odds-on favorites to play the Finals:  Cleveland and L.A.  The Lakers can take a break whenever.  It DOESN’T matter yet.  They get out in front early and coast to the playoffs.

Then they coast through the playoffs.  Scare some unwitting fans in the 2^nd Round and everything’s fine.

The Cavs SHOULD be taking a break.  Every time LeBron puts up MVP numbers—which he is—then he looks even MORE like the Buffalo Bills/Atlanta Braves of basketball.

He was out the other night and this team couldn’t play AT ALL.  They sucked, and there he was wearing jeans and a sportcoat on the bench.  It made him look like he has a bad attitude.

He needs to relax every now and then or he will NEVER have it in the playoffs.  He’s carrying this whole team and we wonder why he can’t finish?  He’s doing everything else too.

Honestly, I might have a bad attitude too if I did it all AND didn’t let up.  LeBron let’s up a little or the Cavs don’t make it to the Finals.

He only let’s up once and they make it to the Finals and get BLOWN OUT.  He takes my advice and the Finals will go 7.

Period.

Jake Delhomme: Photo by: Streeter Lecka

Finally, I’ve seen the face of reason.  Jake Delhomme has been cut by the Carolina Panthers to allow Matt Moore to become their new starter.

I was beginning to think that Jake Delhomme was going haunt me well into my 40’s with his horrific play on a fat contract.  Alas, the Panthers finally got smart!

In the opposite spirit, the Detroit Lions signed Nate Burleson to a 5-year deal to draw him away from Seattle.  Personally, I’m not sure what the Lions plan on doing with Burleson, but I’ve got some ideas.

Oh, and the Chargers were dumb enough to trade Antonio Cromartie to the Jets for a 3rd Rounder.  It almost seems unfair to let Cromartie play in the same defensive backfield as Darelle Revis, doesn’t it?

Let’s have some fun with this and play “Pretender or Contender” with the teams who are making early moves in free agency.

Delhomme Cut

The Panthers parted ways with an underperforming Jake Delhomme.  However, they damaged their franchise in the process–they lost $12 million.

Not once did they think of the implications of giving him a HUGE extension even though he didn’t deserve it.  They made the team think he was there to stay.  Now he’s gone.

The offense MAY improve with Matt Moore at the helm, but some guys in that locker room are pissed.  Can’t you imagine?

Now John Fox is going to have to work double-time to soothe bruised emotions.  This is why the NFC South is so “up and down”.  These teams can’t be consistently smart.

The Falcons always buy into players too late and the Bucs fired a Super Bowl-winner.  The hurt feelings for the Panthers—combined with Julius Peppers jumping ship—will make this team a relative non-factor next season.

However, the offense will improve without Delhomme so there might be some hope.  Maybe.

Contender…barely

Burleson to Lions

Calvin Johnson: Photo from: The Red Zone Report

Why do you sign a receiver to a 5-year deal when Calvin Johnson is on your roster?  I don’t know.  Is Burleson supposed to be their new slot receiver?  Would you give a slot receiver such a lengthy contract?

Is a possession receiver worth ANY guaranteed money?  Nope.  Does Jim Schwartz think he can do something with this?  Yes.  Is that stupid?  Yes.

This is a desperate team looking to make a splash.  They splashed on offense when their QB easily gets injured and isn’t quite ready yet.

By the way, they already have Calvin Johnson.  Did I mention that?

Pretender making the wrong moves…

Cromartie to Jets

Antonio Cromartie One-Handed INT: Photo from: mkrob.com

This IS totally unfair.  Remember in school when you played Volleyball and you could call a “hinder” and do the play over?  I bet the AFC East wants to call a “hinder”.

Hopefully Chargers fans are smart enough to want a “hinder” as well.  Do we see why I’ve been riding A.J. Smith’s ass for months now?

He traded the emotional leader of their defense to the VERY team that booted them out of the playoffs.  As my Dad says, “How stupid can you be?”.

Combine Cromartie’s exit with LDT leaving and you’ve got some seriously hurt feelings in San Diego.  The two best players on that team—in my opinion—are gone and you gave a kick-returner—Darren Sproles—cash.

I don’t get it.  In fact, I hope the Chargers learn their lesson by losing to the Jets in the playoffs again next season…if they can even get there!

P.S.—The Jets are going to the Super Bowl and will set every defensive record you can think of next season.

Jets–Super Bowl Lock

Chargers—Pretender in the middle of a serious mindf***

Colts re-sign Brackett

Photo from: Chip Bruce's WordPress

Bringing Gary Brackett back to the Colts looks nice on paper.  The Colts need defense, but they ALREADY had Brackett.

This is a smokescreen designed to lull us into thinking they are improving their defense.  They didn’t improve—they stayed the same!  Freeney’s hurt and they’re trying to deflect attention.

I get it, but the offense has GOT to be pissed.  How long can Peyton Manning—the ultimate “company-line guy”—say, “We’ll win games while you suck on defense.”?

How long before this entire offense is over it?  I see a mutiny coming on.  Someone on this team is going to explode with anger because they know the team isn’t improving.

Some of these guys know Peyton will eventually retire.  Then what?

Desperate Contender (but only because of Peyton and the offense)

Eagles Re-sign Weaver at Fullback

Why do you sign a fullback to a record contract after you just cut Brian Westbrook?  I don’t know.  Did I mention that the Eagles are thinking of moving Donovan McNabb?  Does THAT make sense?  Nope.

Philly is about to go “Atlanta Falcons” when they had to purge the team of the “Run and Shoot”.  This won’t be pretty, and will probably result in the “Night Court” being reinstated under the stadium.

Pretender in need of some brains

Saints Cut Grant

Charles Grant: Photo from: The Insider

The Saints cut Charles Grant and saved $4 million.  Good for them.  They’ll say it’s to make room for a big-time free agent.  That’s just stupid.

Why would you save $4 million in cutting Charles Grant and keep Reggie Bush for $8 million?  *Hold your hands up and make the “scales” with me*

A kick-returner who had ONE good game OR a D Lineman who helped resurrect your pathetic franchise?

The Saints chose wrong.

Guys on that defense are probably not too happy either.  The Saints may have made the right football decision, but they made the wrong emotional decision.

Contender (but this move is ill-advised from a morale perspective)

So…

Photo from: tvgasm.com

Some of these teams think they can just sign and cut people all “willy-nilly” and that simply is not the case.  Some greater thought needs to go into these moves.

Actually, I’d use the term “soul-searching”.  I know the NFL is a business, but you can’t just mess with people’s emotions and expect fans to NOT react.

Also, you can’t expect players to stand silent.  Sometimes teams create turmoil in their offseason locker rooms without the first thought.

A.J. Smith shipped Cromartie—to Smith, a malcontent—to the Jets for nothing.  You don’t think the guys on the Chargers might be a little pissed?

Didn’t you think some of these guys had strong emotional connections to Cromartie?  You couldn’t work things out with him?  Even the Panthers were stupid to cut Jake Delhomme for this very reason.

I know I wanted Delhomme gone, but they made this team think he was sticking around when they threw all that money at him.  Now he’s gone.  I can’t say it enough.  That’s a hard pill to swallow.

Football players may be rich.  Some of them may even be over-privileged jerks, but they do have feelings.  Teams start messing with those feelings and we’ve got issues people.

It stings.  It just really stings sometimes…

Don’t you just hate it when the NFL announces it’s going to start tinkering with playoff overtime rules and they call it “OT”?  Then you’re trying to figure you out what rules there are for offensive tackles?

They’re big dudes who take up space: What possible trouble could they get into, right?

Anyways, we’ve got a pretty intense “Big 3” this week.  In this first installment we MUST discuss the proposed changes to the overtime rules in playoff games.  We have got to figure out why the Ravens want a piece of T.O., and certainly we can figure out how any scout would dare show up to a private workout for Pacman Jones.

We’ll play “Contender or Pretender” with the Ravens + T.O.—just for fun—and we’ll tell some nightmare tales that could come out of these new overtime rules.

This should be fun!

What does a “legitimate interest” in T.O. mean?

We won't cry for you Turrull...hang it up

John Harbaugh says that interest from the Ravens in T.O. is “legitimate”.  So, what is legitimate interest anyways?

I don’t rightly understand what benefit the Ravens can get from signing a 36-year old receiver whose better days happened in Philly—last decade!  Don’t they already have Derrick Mason?

I know that John Harbaugh has got a great “offensive mind” and that he can work wonders, but putting Joe Flacco in the position of dealing with T.O. makes no sense.

Even if you think Flacco can handle him why would you bother?  That’s like saying that I think I can eat one of those tiny hot peppers without dying.

True, I may not die, but my tongue might fall off.  Is it really worth Joe Flacco’s tongue?  Is Turrull REALLY worth that much to you?  Didn’t this team make the playoffs twice in a row?

It would have made more sense for the Ravens to pass and let someone like the Chiefs or Raiders take a shot at him.  Yes, T.O. has reached the “ridiculously stupid signing” phase of his career.

Anyone who takes him on does so at GREAT risk because he probably doesn’t have anything left.  For all that is holy:  Stay away from this guy Baltimore.  Please!

Would YOU Go To Pacman’s Private Workout?

The mugshot seems appropriate

Pacman Jones has arranged for a private workout with NFL scouts in an attempt to comeback to the NFL.  Would you go?

He’s going to workout on March 19^th right after Tulane’s pro-day.  Honestly, would you be at Tulane’s pro-day to begin with and if you were would you stay just to watch Pacman Jones?

Pacman has had a hard time of it in the last few years, but I don’t know that anyone will want to deal with him.  Compare Pacman with Dez Bryant:

Dez Bryant is the receiver from Okie State that no one will touch with a 10-foot pole.  They say he’s lazy and arrogant.  One scout even said:

“I wouldn’t draft that kid unless I had someone to wake him up in the morning to get to meetings, someone to wake him up for practice and someone to wake him up for games.”

Wow!  Dez Bryant is the “hot/new” receiving talent on the block and he can’t get a sniff.  Why would we think that Pacman is even worth a second-look after all the trouble he’s been in?

At some point we have to let certain players go.  I’m afraid this might be Pacman’s time to “let go”.  Let the dream die.  You were a very good player, but now it’s time to go.  The Titans certainly don’t need you anymore.  Nor do the Cowboys.

You could try to extend your career through the “ridiculously stupid signing” department.  However, you’d only tarnish your less-than-stellar image even more.

You were the ultimate talent…and you gave it up baby.

Happy trails.

Who In The Hell Decided This Was a Good Playoff Rule?

The proposed new overtime rules seem a little strange.  If you don’t pay attention then you’ll think they are just like college, but they aren’t.

The proposal stipulates the following:

-           Each team gets the ball in overtime.

-          Unless the team that gets the ball first scores a touchdown

No, that’s it.  I know, you’re wondering what the hell is up with that.  Basically, the idea is to stop teams from getting the ball in overtime and running down to kick a field goal.

Here’s the problem: If you get the ball first and all you can do is kick a field goal then you’re screwed.  The other team gets the ball and has a chance to score a touchdown OR kick a field goal and tie the game to give you the ball back.

How do you strategize for that?  If you get the ball then you don’t want to “go for it” because you’re afraid of the “home run” interception or fumble.

If you run down and kick a field goal you had better be really confident in your defense.  There’s no definitive plan for this.

Imagine if the Packers/Cardinals wildcard game had gone down to this.  The Cardinals give up the ball to the Packers and the Packers trust their defense—and just saw Rackers miss a field goal—so they play it safe and don’t have Rodgers rolling back to take the big shot—which is what was happening when he lost the ball and Arizona won the game.

The Cardinals get the ball and give it to Kurt Warner—if they stop Green Bay—and Warner is gunning it because Rackers just missed one.  That game could have turned out EXACTLY opposite of how it did.

What if this “lack of ability to plan” results in lots of conservative play?  Will all of these games end in ties?  Do we know the last time a game ended in a tie?  Atlanta and Pittsburgh in 2002.  The Falcons went to the NFC Title Game that season.

Do you feel weird when football games end in ties?  I do, and if there isn’t a provision for ties this might happen.

Yes, I know they are only proposing to change the rules in overtime.  I would be BITCHING like crazy to get the rules applied to regular season games.  Why?

Because players ALREADY don’t know the rules.  How bad is it going to be if the rules change come playoff time?

Just imagine Donovan McNabb explaining his ignorance after a PLAYOFF loss.  How fast would he get the boot out of Philly?

I say he’d be gone in 10 minutes, but the NFL doesn’t move that fast.  Let’s set the over/under at 48 hours.

Any takers?

Header photo from:  hssn.net

Terrell Owens photo from:  wpix.com

Pacman Jones photo from:  Equaleye

Donovan McNabb photo from:  Black Christian News

The NFL Draft is a couple months away, but after the Super Bowl everyone gets into “Draft Mode”.  This “Draft Mode” leads teams to cut players, open up cap space, and start making their “needs” known.

I could sit here and do a complete “Mock Draft”, but some teams require little discussion, and others “just plain suck”.  However, there are 5 MAJOR needs that I think should be addressed.  Those needs are to follow.

True, all 32 teams will be mentioned, but only 5 things MUST get done in April for the “uncapped” 2010 season to be any fun.

Things are already getting fun because the Dolphins cut Joey Porter, but had to put him back on the roster.  The Falcons re-signed Brian Finneran.  Brett Favre is still in limbo, and the Bengals auditioned Pacman Jones.

Can we say “stupid, stupid, and stupider”?  I hope we see a little “bitchassness” from some teams, but too much might be a little overwhelming.

Let’s do this in draft order as if it were April 22^nd.

With the first selection in the 2010 NFL Draft the:

1.  St. Louis Rams select:

A New Quarterback.  The Rams seem to have given up on the Marc Bulger experiment and I say, “FINALLY”!  I don’t really care if they take Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy, or Tim Tebow—they just NEED a QB.

Personally, they could select me and that would make the season more fun.  Why, because I’d be starting from “Day #1”.  When the Rams put a rookie QB on the field behind an offensive line filled with high draft choices it’s gonna get ugly.

Whichever QB they take will be dead by the end of the season, and in 4 years will be David Carr 2.0.  I can’t wait for the fallout!

Detroit Lions select:  Who cares?  They’re the Lions and they’ll blow it.  Can we rename them “The Clippers” and get it over with?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers select:  It doesn’t matter.  They suckered us with that phony Super Bowl win against the joke-worthy Raiders.  Crawl back into your hole already.

2.  Washington Redskins select:

An offensive lineman who can anchor Mike Shanahan’s new offense.  No more “Cracker Jack” crap.  He should take a 10-12-year lineman that he can build a zone-blocking line around.  He does that and Bill Clinton could run for 1000 yards.

Kansas City Chiefs select:  Who cares?  They royally suck.

Seattle Seahawks select:  I used to think this should be Tim Tebow, but he clearly can’t take a snap from center or pass.  So, they could do anything and it won’t matter.  If Pete Carroll has total control he’ll have to wait a whole year to use it.

Cleveland Browns select:  They need a new Quarterback but they won’t admit it.  This franchise is so pathetic.

Oakland Raiders select:  Someone they don’t need, who can’t play, and isn’t proven.  He’ll also make too much money and suck the life out of the “Raider Nation”.

Buffalo Bills select:  Some guy Chan Gailey will be overly loyal to until said player gets Chan fired.

3.  Jacksonville Jaguars select:

Everyone wants them to take Tim Tebow, but if they take Tebow he’d better be NOT a Quarterback.  If the Jags select Tebow and sell tickets I’m fine with that.

However, if they select him and try to replace David Garrard with Tebow I’ll be laughing because we’ve already seen that Tebow can’t throw and can’t take a snap.

You can say that Drew Brees doesn’t take many snaps under Center, but he can throw.  Everyone keeps forgetting that!

Denver Broncos select:  It doesn’t matter.  They’ll make it work.  Joshie had a good first season and only good things can come in the future.

Miami Dolphins select:  Hopefully a Linebacker to replace Joey Porter after they figure out how to get rid of him.

San Francisco 49ers select:  Somebody to keep Alex Smith upright?

Seattle Seahawks select:  I suppose they could take Tebow here and play it off like, “Oh, well that was our OTHER 1^st rounder.  We can screw that one up and it’s ok.”

New York Giants select:  Someone to keep Eli Manning upright…please!

Tennessee Titans select:  A new running-mate for Kyle Vanden Bosch.  For all that is holy; that poor man is lonely up front!

San Francisco 49ers select:  A bruising safety would be nice: Perhaps Major Wright for his sheer “ballhogness”.

4. The Smart Kids

Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Houston, Cincinnati, New England, Green Bay, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Arizona, Dallas, New York Jets, Indianapolis, and New Orleans select:  Somebody who will pay dividends.

I think it’s clear that each of these teams have good management and will make a smart choice.  If someone in this group made a bad choice I think I might cry.

5.  I only left out two teams

The San Diego Chargers and Minnesota Vikings select:  The future.  These two teams select the future or they burn.  It’s that simple.

LDT is finished in San Diego and Darren Sproles does more special teams than he should.  They find a new Running Back or they perish even more painfully than they did this season.

The Vikings need to decide who their future at Quarterback is.  Forget Brett Favre for a minute.  Are Sage Rosenfels and Tavarus Jackson really your future?  Really?

Honestly, look at QB’s that fall this low and take someone whom you can mold into “the future”.  You might lose a year of productivity, but you’ll gain 10 years of success on the backend.

It only takes one false move for either one of these teams to find themselves on the “outside looking in”, and fast.

In The End

Someone will walk away a winner, but everyone will say they got what they wanted.  That’s the funniest thing in sports.  Watching guys act happy when you know they’re disappointed.

For my money the “pick of the day” is the Jags at #10.  If they take Tebow they set their franchise back AT LEAST 5 years.  Tim Tebow seems like a nice kid, but we all know he can’t hack it.

If those broadcasters in Jacksonville think David Garrard sucks, just wait until they get a whiff of someone who can’t take a snap.

The Cavs and The Hawks Need To Hit On All Cylinders

The NBA has storylines galore as we head into the All-Star Break.  Older teams are getting older.  Younger teams are getting better.  Contenders are nursing old wounds, and there’s one team that is seeing the end of an era.

I’m picking 5 “key games” that will weave a few interesting tales going into the All-Star Game.  We all know that the All-Star Game is fun, but watching teams stumble into the break is even more fun.

Don’t be surprised if we have games coming up that look “boring”.  Trust me when I say to you, “I don’t pick boring games”.  This is going to be appointment television for NBA fans.

New Jersey @ Cleveland:  Tuesday

New Jersey is BY FAR the worst team in the league.  Cleveland is playing the best of anyone right now.  Is there a way for this game to mean something?  Yes–no, not by putting Jay-Z on the floor as an “owner-player”.

The Nyets are 4-46 and in desperate need of wins to avoid setting the all-time record for losing at a measly 7 wins.  It would be easy to write this game off and call it another Cleveland win, but I’m skeptical.

Being that the Cavs are, for me, the Bills/Braves of the NBA there has got to a skid coming.  In fact, this could be the confluence of two skids.  Cleveland on the way down and New Jersey on the way up.

I’m not calling for a New Jersey win, but I am calling for a good game form the Nets.  “Moral victories” are real, and if the Nets get one they could save themselves BEFORE the All-Star Break.  I really don’t want to see the “losing record” set.  Why?

There’s something about greatness that I want to see.  I don’t relish losing from anybody.  I hate the Celtics, but I don’t want them to be pathetic.  It’s not any fun when someone is pathetic.  Right now, the Nets are pathetic.

If they can give LeBron his and stop everyone else this could be a close game.  Plus, with the Cavs looking ahead to Thursday this could be New Jersey’s chance to catch the LeBrons off-guard.

Atlanta @ Memphis:  Tuesday

Rudy Gay needs to keep throwing down

The Hawks are 32-17.  The Griz are 26-24.  The Hawks have improved every year for the past 5 years and now they’re duking it out with Orlando for 3rd in the East.

This dogfight can continue all season if Atlanta stays strong and plays their game.  Jamal Crawford has yet to start in 49 games, and my theory is holding.  When he doesn’t start, the Hawks are hard to beat.

Memphis is surging at 10th in the West.  I know it sounds stupid to say a team that’s 10th in their conference is surging, but this is the GRIZZLIES!  They stink, but not anymore.

Zach Randolph, Rudy Gay, Mike Conley, and O.J. Mayo make a pretty tough “out”.  If they keep playing this way we’ll have a playoff contender on our hands.  The Hawks have their hands full , and they need to play tons of defense.  Then they have to turn around and play…

Miami @ Atlanta:  Wednesday

Ho-Hum

…the Heat.  Miami comes into Atlanta in 8th place in the East.  That ALONE is a miracle considering how badly the Heat are playing right now.

Whether the Hawks win or lose against Memphis, this game against the Heat is FAR more significant.  The Hawks have to travel and play back-to-back games right before the All-Star Break.  The Heat are fired up for all the wrong reasons, and the Hawks need to show Miami who’s boss.

The last thing the Hawks need is to give the Heat any kind of momentum.  D-Wade isn’t even talking to his teammates and he clearly wants out of Miami.  Atlanta’s got to put their foot on Miami’s throat and contribute STRONGLY to a plea for Erik Spoelstra’s firing.

Who would want Spoelstra fired?  Dwyane Wade.  He’s not “the man” he thought he was and it’s killing him.  He’s probably on the verge of begging Pat Riley to coach him again.  However, the discontent is so strong that I don’t even know if he’s really trying.

I know, I know.  How can a guy who is scoring 27 points a night NOT be trying?  If you watch him he looks like he’s not there.  He’s statistically AT his career average, but he isn’t there.

The Heat suck right now because D-Wade is a crybaby.  He’s waiting for the 2010 “free-for-all” so he can get paid and feel “appreciated”.  Meanwhile, he’ll be leaving Miami without the “core” that the ENTIRE roster is built around…him.

It’s a shame really.  A focused Hawks team should have no problem with this disjointed Heat squad.

Boston @ New Orleans:  Wednesday

The ride's over boys...

This is a simple equation.  You have a basketball team in a football city buoyed by the Saint’s Super Bowl win.  You also have a VERY old Celtics team.

Doc Rivers has been very upset with the level of play of his team, and he should be.  However, he can’t be surprised.  The “Three Amigos” are now the “No Cartilage Brigade”.  Every day that Doc denies that Pierce, KG, and Ray Allen are getting too old; it’s only going to get worse.

The Hornets aren’t really anything to write home about, but they find themselves in a unique position.  They can feed off the “Super Bowl Frenzy” and get a good win against a good team at the same time.

The Celtics need to start changing things up before Pierce and KG can’t move anymore.  The Celtics are tied for 3rd in the East with the Hawks and the Hawks own the tiebreaker.  The keys need to be FULLY turned over the Rajon Rondo before it’s too late.

The rest you can get during the All-Star Break isn’t enough.  This team needs to make a change–fast.  If Ray Allen’s expiring contract isn’t KILLING the Celtics “on the inside” then it should be.  Move him now before it’s too late.

The “Three Amigos” are done.  This era is over.  The Celtics need to give Rajon the keys and ENCOURAGE him to joyride.  Learn how to play this way now, or don’t learn at all.

I’ll bet that the Hornets play the Celts tight just because Boston is stubborn.  It’s Boston’s loss really…

Orlando @ Cleveland:  Thursday

We close before the Break with Orlando and Cleveland.  Orlando is getting some really good play out of Vince Carter, but Vince isn’t enough to beat Cleveland all over again.  Cleveland on the other hand needs to keep their momentum going.

Backing into the All-Star Break may not sound like a big deal, but for a “bad sport” like Lebron it’s bad news.

Imagine how bent out of shape he’s going to be all weekend if his team loses to D12.  Orlando needs some validation and some “elbow room” with the Hawks.  Cleveland needs to keep winning.

This game will be close all day long, but in the end it will come down to defense late.  IF D12 plays “D” the way he’s capable of then the Magic can pull out a win.

Bottom line:  If the Cavs lose they will start (or continue) a skid that will last into the 2nd half of the season.  I don’t buy LeBron as this “great leader”.

I feel like the guys in Cleveland call him “father and teacher” the ways the Soviets had to address Stalin.  Notice the operative verb:  have.  If the Cavs go too far with their “LeBron worship” it’ll kill their team.

I’m interested to see who wins and how everyone reacts.  Dwight Howard will be fine either way, but just look at LeBron if he loses.  Now take a look at his head growing if he wins.

The stretchmarks on LeBron’s headband are the story of the NBA season…

…does anybody realize we haven’t witnessed anything yet?

The Super Bowl is this Sunday. The two best teams in the league are facing off. The two best offenses in the league are squaring up. The most maligned defenses in the league have something to prove, and I have a pick to make.

I love listening to sports radio during major events like the Super Bowl. Why? Because every player in the sport walks up and down “Radio Row” giving really good interviews.

I heard one interview in particular that confirmed my pick, and gave me the insight I needed to make my line of thinking stick. It comes from an unlikely source for me, but I fully believe in its authenticity.

Chad Johnson gave an interview to the “2 Live Stews” yesterday. The Stews are brothers who are syndicated on Sporting News radio out of Atlanta’s 790 The Zone, and—as they say—they keep it real.

When Chad was on he made one interesting point that really threw me for a loop. Since I’m not a “combine junkie” I had no idea this was even possible. In fact, I’d say that Chad Johnson is one of the most honest men in the league.

I HAVE to believe him.

The Stark Reality

Chad’s talking about the Colts defense and how they don’t get the credit they deserve. That’s not something you hear everyday!

The Bengals lost to the Colts in the regular season and he admitted that the Colts defense just really got to the Bengals offense. Then he starts talking about how fast the Colts defense is.

I love the back and forth they had because it sounded entirely genuine. Ryan Stewart (one of the 2 Stews) played in the NFL and knows what Chad’s talking about. So, he says, “How fast are they?”

I’m paraphrasing, but Chad said something like:

“If you put the Colts’ and Saints’ defenses on the goal line—linemen, backs, everyone. Then you had them race to the other goal line the Colts D-Linemen would be leading the pack.”

Huh? You mean to tell me that the Colts defensive linemen are THAT fast? Honestly, I can’t even comprehend how athletically skilled you would have to be to weigh 300 pounds and outrun a Corner or a Safety.

Does anyone else think this is INSANE? It’s like we’re talking about college football; the difference between Miami and a doormat like Duke.

The problem is that we’re talking about professional athletes who work out for a living. Still, the Colts D-Linemen can outrun everyone. Wow!

The Other Side Of Reality

The New Orleans Saints Offensive Line was supposed to be pretty good going into this season. However, when we started hearing Pro Bowl rumblings there was a problem.

Johnathan Goodwin, Jahri Evans and Jonathan Stinchcomb were all voted to the Pro Bowl, but I’ve heard people say that Stinchcomb was a “pity” pick. I also believe that many choices for teams with VERY good records are the “sexy” choices anyways.

It would be smart to assume that every guy who may be there, in part, because his team has a good record. Yes, Drew Brees had a great year, but he doesn’t hold the ball either.

What does this mean? The O-Line can only help so much when the QB has a quick trigger.

This not to say that the Saints O-Line is bad but I AM saying that there may be some matchup problems.

If you have three “record-inflated” Pro Bowlers on your Offensive Line and the opposing defense’s Defensive Line can outrun you…that’s a problem.

Is This Super Bowl Greater Than The Sum Of Its Parts?

We have the two best Quarterbacks in the league. We have a whole city of men wearing dresses in a parade. We have two good defenses that have something to prove. Plus, we have the never-ending subplot of “bad kicking”.

This game could go back and forth all night. In fact, it will. The Colts will score, the Saints will score, and it will feel like watching a Tennis match except for one thing:

There will be ONE back-breaking defensive play that will come from the ever-so-fast Colts D-Line. It will feel like the bobbled ball that went to the Cardinals against the Packers in the wildcard round—but much worse.

Even if you’re a Colts fan your heart will be ripped out of your chest while it’s still beating. We’ll spend the whole game lamenting a missed field goal, but in the end defense will ULTIMATELY win the day.

The Answer

This Super Bowl WILL BE more than the sum of its parts. Better than Steelers/Cardinals or Patriots/Giants. Yes, THAT good. I can feel it. Three great Super Bowls in a row.

Indianapolis – 38 New Orleans – 34

Spring Training is almost upon us, and I think it’s time to predict who will rise and who will fall in the National League.  2010 promises to be a loaded season with teams reloading, wallowing, and retooling.

Major League Baseball’s season is VERY long and VERY complicated.  Plus, it offers us a glimpse into the character of players as they struggle to complete a 162-game schedule.

Who will lose?  Who will win?  Who will show us their true character?  Let’s take a stab at this:

National League East

The Phillies are the obvious favorite in this division with their acquisition of Roy Halladay and Jose Contreras.   The signing of Joe Blanton simply kept the “power level” up, and by moving out Cliff Lee to make a way for younger pitching they’ve improved this offseason.

We could talk all day about how their hitting struggled in the World Series, but I don’t buy it.  Shane Victorino, Jayson Werth, Jimmy Rollins, and Chase Utley will ALL produce again in 2010.  If Raul Ibanez has half-the-season he had in 2009 then the Phillies will be a “run factory”.

The Marlins and Braves will make attempts to retool, but they won’t work.  Florida missed their “6 year World Series cycle” by not winning it all in 2009.  The Braves are NOT the Braves of the 90′s, and they won’t be anytime soon.

The Mets are out of control and Omar Minaya has proven that he isn’t really in control.  Carlos Beltran waited until right before Spring Training to have surgery, and Minaya couldn’t force him to be ready for the season?  The Mets are a mess right now.

Washington had a “blip” a couple years ago, but they will always come “Back to Life, Back to Reality”.  This season will be no different.

Winner: Philadelphia Phillies

Dark Horse: Mets/Braves/Marlins–Whoever sucks the least at the end of the season.

MVP: Roy Halladay and the chance to approach 30 wins.  Imagine how easy it will be for him without the Blue Jays uniform.

LVP: Carlos Beltran.  He’s over the Mets and it shows.

National League Central

For my money this is the toughest division in baseball–not the tightest.  This division is tough because it’s a 5-team battle for 2nd behind the Cards.

Last season the Cards won 91 games because no one challenged them until the Cubs…late.  This season the Reds are stocking up and making moves.

With the additions of Aroldis Chapman–the Cuban defector–and Orlando Cabrera the Reds might have found spark they needed.

Cabrera won a World Series with Boston in 2004, and Chapman was a “win” for the Reds over evil empires like the Yanks or the Sox.

Houston and Pittsburgh are organizational nightmares.  Drayton McLane needs to deal with Ed Wade.  When your GM is allegedly having fights with players, you need to move on.

Pittsburgh turned down an offer to buy the team from Mario Lemieux.  In essence they told their fans to kiss it.  Selling to Super Mario means you make money and the city is happy.

Why would I expect anything but disastrous seasons from these two teams when their front offices are SO inept.

The Cubs are the Cubs.  Aramis Ramirez, Derrek Lee, and Alfonso Soriano have all lost many “steps”, and that makes Carlos Zambrano their 4th best hitter.

The Brewers added Jim Edmonds.  He MIGHT be able to guide Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun into “winning form”, but I’m not holding my breath.  However, if he succeeds then the Brewers could be dangerous.

Winner: St. Louis Cardinals

Dark Horse: Cincinnati.  I trust their pick-ups more than that of the Brewers.

MVP: Albert Pujols.  This is the part where I say, “DUH”.

LVP: Roy Oswalt.  I know this hurts, but when you start 30 games and go 8-6 it just isn’t “your time” anymore.

National League West

Let's Rename the NL West the "Retread Division"

This division produced the Wild Card last season, but that was due to a late-Rockies-rally.  At some point everybody was in the race, but the Dodgers eventually pulled away.

L.A. doesn’t have anything that looks much better than anybody else, but they do have Manny.  Is he worth $24 million?  If it wins them a division I guess so.

I could say that the Rockies will return to their late-2009 form, but they only made a push because Jim Tracy was new.  The Rockies function like a hockey team–hiring and firing like maniacs–so they’ll never be consistent from year-to-year.

The Giants can hang their hats on Tim Lincecum for 20 wins, but as I look over their roster only three names jump out at me:  Juan Uribe, Aaron Rowand, and Mark DeRosa.

Juan Uribe’s getting old.  Aaron Rowand is older.  I like Mark DeRosa, but he’s even older than the other two.

The Padres will TRY to lean on Jon Garland and it won’t work.  I suppose they can pray that Tony Gwynn 2.0 turns out to be a younger version of 1.0.  I also suppose they could wait for hell to freeze over.

The D-Backs have a little youth in Justin Upton and Chris Young.  They also have Brandon Webb coming back which makes a great “change of pace” from all the re-treads in this division.  If they repeat last year’s form then this is your Wild Card team in the NL.

Winner:  Manny.  I mean, the Dodgers.

Dark Horse: Arizona Diamondbacks

MVP: Brandon Webb–if I’m right about the D-Backs.

LVP: Jon Garland.  The Padres will try to ride him to glory and end up falling off the horse.

The Playoffs

This site will be all too familiar

If you take my word for it then we have the Cards, Phillies, Dodgers and D-Backs in the playoffs.  Would you pick against the Phillies in that situation?

I could see how the Cards MIGHT get hot late and give the Phillies a struggle in the NLCS.  Let’s say the ball bounces the right way and Albert Pujols hits a few bombs.  Perhaps the Cardinals will be in the World Series?

I can see that.

Awards

NL MVP: Albert Pujols.  Again I say, “DUH”.

NL Cy Young: Tim Lincecum.  Again, “DUH”.

Batting Title: I’ll be very interested to see if someone from the Phillies will hit for average.  I’ll take Chase Utley.

Let’s face it.  All of this can turn on a dime.  However, with such a long season ahead we have to assume that favorites will prevail in the end.

Then again, that’s why they play the games.

Yes, I said it, the Saints are NOT “Worst to First”.  The Saints were a good team before this season and will be after this season.  We need to stop fawning over the Saints like they just rebuilt New Orleans all by themselves.

The New Orleans Saints have been playing good football for a couple years now and Drew Brees is not a new acquisition.  Perhaps the good folks of the sports world just wanted an underdog to pull for.

Personally, I’m not buying what the Saints are selling and I have my reasons.

The Mastermind

The “evil mastermind” behind the Saints’ attack is Sean Payton, and he’s not famous for just coaching the Saints.

Sean Payton was also at the center of Bill Parcells’ “No offense to the Orientals” comment when he was with the Cowboys.  Parcells called Payton by name and said “we” come up with these “Jap plays”.

I know that everyone has said or will say something inappropriate, but Sean Payton was involved in a firestorm that indirectly implicated him in making racially defaming remarks to the Cowboys coaching staff.

Who do you think was drawing up those “Jap plays”?  Oh yeah, Sean Payton was.

Now Sean Payton is in New Orleans drawing up an entire offense and looking like a fiend at the same time.  Take a look at this dude and tell me he seems even remotely likable.

My wife took one look at him and said, “That guy scares me”.  I rest my case.

The Reality

Hurricane Katrina was bad.  I remember watching the coverage of the landfall and the aftermath.  However, it didn’t happen yesterday.

The Saints team didn’t rebuild the city by themselves.  In fact, the Saints went 3-13 in 2005.  That’s nothing short of a “not-feelgood” story.  If the Saints were going to “save the city” that would have happened in ’05.

Today we can say that they are “bringing to city together” or “making everyone believe”.  But…

…let’s please STOP acting like the Saints Offensive Line stood guard in front of the city to beat up Katrina.

Flip their 2005 record around and you have their 2009 record:  13-3.  The Saints are a great story and have a very good team, but they are not the saviors of the city.

As much as I hate the Patriots–and find them to be a classless organization– they won the Super Bowl after 9/11…and they are called THE PATRIOTS!  Now THAT is a defining moment.

The Patriots brought an entire country together.  They did “save the nation’s psyche” in a sense.

That’s the reality of the situation.  The Saints are nice, but this isn’t a defining moment.

What Does “Worst to First” Look Like?

When the Braves went to the World Series in 1991 they were truly a “Worst to First” team.  They were the doormat of the league and hadn’t played well in FOREVER.

No one gave a rat’s ass about the Braves because there was no reason too.  The Braves had to wait to see the results of a Dodgers game on the last day of the season to get into the playoffs.

They beat the Pirates in dramatic fashion, and came within one Kent Hrbek “pull of Ron Gant off first base” of winning the World Series.

The Braves were the story of the season.  The Twins won the World Series, but the Braves were still a bigger deal.

The Braves went 65-97 in 1990 to finish last in the old NL West.  In 1991 they finished 94-68 to win the old NL West.

True, the Saints were in last place in the NFC South in 2008, but they were NOT the doormats of the league.  They hadn’t been since they “unsaved the city” in 2005.

The Owner

This is my final rant on this topic.  Tom Benson has threatened to move this team a thousand times, and I’m sick of it.

Now that the Saints are in the Super Bowl Tom Benson is milking this for everything that it’s worth.

We’re forgetting what a jackass he was in dealing with the city in negotiating to keep the team in New Orleans.

Basically he hijacked the city of New Orleans in making waves to keep the team there.  If he had moved the team to Los Angeles or San Antonio we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Now, Tom Benson is going to get rich (again) off a team that he wanted to move from its home.

Nothing is more disgusting than his smug grin.  It’s as if he believes HE saved the city.

The Comparison

The Atlanta Falcons went to the Super Bowl in 1998 after beating the Vikings on a field goal.  Sound familiar?

Then all hell broke loose.  Eugene Robinson got pinched while trying to pick up a hooker in Miami, and the entire team spent the night with him instead of sleeping…before the Super Bowl.

The Falcons got trounced by a superior team and a superior Quarterback.  Do we see the similarities?

The Super Bowl is in Miami.  New Orleans is a “party city” and that “partyness” is going to Miami.  I’m not saying that anyone from the Saints will get arrested, but they’re too hyped up.

The night before the Super Bowl the Saints will be loving it.  The Colts will be sleeping.

Check in next Friday and we’ll see if the “superior” Quarterback–Peyton Manning–can repeat the previous Miami Super Bowl triumph of an AFC team over the NFC South Champion.

You see where I’m going with this, but I still need time to think.

The Cavs swept their season series with the Lakers, but LeBron says it doesn’t mean anything. Is he being coy or does he actually get it this time?

There hasn’t been much of a change in the Top 10—for me—since we last talked about this, but there are some interesting subplots brewing in the NBA.

The Suns and Rockets have gone on MONSTER slumps since our last edition and that means there is a place for the Jazz, Spurs, and the Grizzlies. I know it’s complicated, but I can make 11 teams into 10…I promise.

Let’s work our way up from the bottom.

10. San Antonio/Memphis: Memphis Is Boxing Out The Spurs

This could get a bit confusing, but for me it’s simple. The Spurs aren’t living up to preseason expectations.

They brought in Richard Jefferson while Manu Ginobli and Tim Duncan got healthy. Well, they got healthy, but they don’t crack 40 minutes a night.

Plus, Richard Jefferson is a nice piece, but I think everyone in San Antonio thought he would save them. Richard Jefferson is not a savior.

Richard Jefferson plays great with other great players, but he doesn’t LEAD those great players(as seen above). Tim Duncan still has to lead, but when he’s spending 15-20 minutes a night on the bench that’s kind of hard.

Manu’s legs are starting to leave him and Tony Parker can only play the “token European with a good inside move” for so long.

Meanwhile, the Grizzlies have a worse record than the Spurs, but they are much hotter. At 23-19 the Grizzlies are poised to scare some teams after the All-Star Break.

Based purely on the math I had to put the Spurs at #10, but I can feel a tug at me to put the Grizzlies here. They have the Lakers, Cavs, Spurs, and Magic in 4 of their next 6 games. They can prove a lot. Let’s hope they can handle the pressure.

9. Portland Trailblazers: Young Talent That Must Stay Strong

It appears that the Blazers are doing fine without Greg Oden–and the only way he could make waves was by taking unflattering pictures of himself on his phone.

Jerryd Bayless is slowly coming into his own with 18, 12, and 12 points in his last 3 games on limited minutes. He’s not the answer today, but he is the answer for the future.

With Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge leading the charge and Joel Przybilla mopping up the glass the Blazers have a really nice team on their hands.

Unfortunately, if the playoffs ended today the Blazers would be the 5 seed and they would have to play Utah who they trail in their own division. It seems like Portland is sitting tight while Utah is “upwardly mobile”.

Something’s got to give and it will either be the Jazz or the Blazers in the middle of the Western Conference. The problem is that right now I’d bet on the Blazers to back off. Nobody is playing Deron Williams’ part for Portland—and that’s making all the difference right now.

8. Utah Jazz: Inching Closer To The Nuggets And Celtics

The Jazz are bolstering their midseason charge by winning 3-in-a-row and 8 of their last 10. This is mainly due to Deron Williams.

Williams is playing more minutes than anyone on the team and their second leading scorer along with dishing almost 10 dimes a game. I’m not saying Deron Williams is the best player in the league, but I am saying that he the most valuable to his team right now besides LeBron.

Without Deron Williams where is Carlos Boozer going to get the ball from? Where will AK-47 get a kick-out for a long 3? Where will Mehmet Okur get those same kick-outs for HIS long 3’s?

The Jazz are stacked with relatively young talent. The signing of Sundiata Gaines simply adds to the young nucleus, but Deron Williams is the straw that stirs this young drink.

I see no reason why they won’t catch up to Denver in the Northwest.

7. Denver Nuggets: I Don’t Trust Them

The Nuggets are 30-14 so I can’t say they stink. In fact, it would irresponsible of me to say they are anything but very, very good.

Melo is leading the league in scoring at 29.7 points a game. Chauncey Billups is running a tight ship that provides Carmelo with those 30 points a night. Nene, Chris “The Birdman” Andersen and Kenyon Martin mop up the glass, and Ty Lawson is learning to be the new “CP3” from Chauncey.

There isn’t any way you can say that the nuggets will stumble. They are #2 in the West and don’t really look to budge. But…

George Karl is their coach and I have a problem with George Karl like I have a problem with Norv Turner.

George Karl doesn’t seem like the most inspiring guy on the sideline. He looks uninterested most of the time, and I wonder if the Nuggets enjoy playing for him.

You can praise him to the sky for being a great “basketball mind”, but it never bears any fruit. Plus…

They’ve got all these angry guys on their team (Kenyon Martin, J.R. Smith, Chris Andersen) and I’m wondering when there will be a “Latrell Spreewell-type” incident in Denver. I can just taste it.

When Spree tried to choke out P.J. Carlesimo?  We would have all agreed that P.J. was a good coach, but he probably wasn’t the most inspiring guy.  Sound familiar?

The Nuggets will only fail because of George Karl…it will NOT be the player’s fault. Put someone like Del Harris in there and we’ve got a winner.

Del would respect the players, be “in to” the games, and find a way to beat the Lakers. He just would.

I don’t want the Lakers to lose, but Del Harris in Denver would be nice…

6. Boston Celtics: Falling Back To The Jazz

The Celtics are old as dirt, but they’re still here!

However, they are still making a slight fall backwards into the arms of the Jazz. As the Jazz surge the Celtics search for their way.

They’ve gone 5-5 in their last 10, but that only holds .500. The Celtics need to stay close to the Cavs all season and .500 ain’t doing it.

Paul Pierce is scoring about 19 a night, and Ray Allen/KG are giving another 30 combined. The “Three Amigos” are not scoring 60-70 points combined anymore.

They’ve got to give the team over to Rajon Rondo completely if they want to stop this very slow downward spiral. Rondo is capable of scoring 20, dishing 15, and getting a couple steals if they’ll let him.

Every little inch they give away only translates to less momentum going into the playoffs.

This time they won’t be so lucky to get a “happy to be there” Bulls team. They’d get the Bobcats if the playoffs started today.

Do you think Larry Brown would “let them of the hook”? No, me neither.

5. Orlando Magic: Have They Lost That Magic Feeling?

The Magic have fallen a game behind the Hawks in the Southeast Division.

I know it’s only a game, but this is the team that stunned the Cavs last season. You would think that the Hawks have no business jumping them in the standings.

Well, you see, they let Hedo go and traded the Courtney Lee-Rafer Alston-Tony Battie trio to get Vince Carter.

They don’t have a Jamal Crawford-type coming off the bench to fix all their problems. Last season Hedo was doing that from the “Point Forward” position, remember?

Without Hedo they are left to lean on Jameer Nelson and pray that Vince Carter stays consistent.

Vince is putting up 16 and Dwight Howard is scoring 17 a night. Somebody needs to take control! If Dwight is taking the “offense” to the paint then he should be scoring like Shaq used to when he was younger.

If Vince is taking all the “offense” from the outside then he should be scoring like a Kobe or a LeBron.

Stan Van needs to decide quick before they lose more ground to the Hawks and end up losing to the Heat in the 1st Round.

4. Dallas Mavericks: I Don’t Trust Them, But Dirk Is On Fire

I’ll keep this simple. The Mavs are hot, but they have never delivered on “hotness” since Mark Cuban bought the team and fixed it.

They’re #3 in the West and playing great. Dirk is great. Jason Terry is great. Jason Kidd is great. Josh Howard is great. But…

I hate to say this because I like this guy. Rick Carlisle is the “Hall of Fame” Offensive Coordinator that I keep saying Norv Turner is.

Rick Carlisle did an amazing job being the “offensive coordinator” for Larry Bird and the Pacers back in the late 90’s. I mean, they got to the Finals with his offense. The problem is that he isn’t the best head coach.

He isn’t horrible, but Rick can’t take a team “over the top”.  Avery Johnson took the Mavs to the Finals. Rick Carlisle isn’t Avery Johnson…

3. Atlanta Hawks: Learning How To Win

The Hawks jumped the Magic in in the Southeast Division and they are playing “lights out” basketball, but they’ve got a showdown with the Celtics on the 29th.

Because they are currently ½ game behind the Celtics in the East it’s conceivable that the Hawks could be the #2 team in the East by the end of the night on Friday.

The Hawks are learning on a nightly basis how to control their own destiny in the NBA, IT was only a few years ago that they were lucky to be the #8 seed.

Now they are “this close” to besting the Celtics for #2 in the East. We would have all laughed at this idea just a couple years ago.

Now we’re not laughing. The Hawks are young and the Celts are old. One thing is coming and one thing is going. Next season it won’t even be THIS close.

The best part of this situation is that Jamal Crawford has YET to start a game. As far as I’m concerned I was right about J.C. coming off the bench.

2. Los Angeles Lakers: Bynum Needs More Time

Andrew Bynum is getting 32 minutes a night and scoring 16 points. That just isn’t enough. I’ve watched him START games with a nice little move inside or a cute “baby skyhook”, but that’s not translating for the rest of the game.

Kobe has given up a lot of the offense to Bynum to further the Lakers’ chances of repeating. However, other guys on the Lakers need to be going to Bynum as well.

It’s hard when you have Odom, Gasol, and Bynum, but Bynum is the future. He can be slowly nurtured by Gasol–who can live without some points–into the “big man” he needs to be.

To be fair, Gasol is an AMAZING player, but Bynum is still supposed to be the future. He is also the thing that will keep teams from beating the Lakers 4 out of 7 games.

Everyone keeps saying that no one can beat the Lakers that many times in a series. I understand their logic, but I get nervous when I see no growth “on paper” from Bynum.

Kobe is still nearly leading the league in scoring, but if he goes on too long like this the playoffs will be rough.

This is a warning: Be careful Lakers…

1. Cleveland Cavaliers: It Don’t Mean A Thing If It Ain’t In June

The Cavs swept their season series with the Lakers last week and LeBron James admitted that that means almost nothing.

The Cavs are playing great basketball, but the loss of Mo Williams for 4-6 weeks isn’t going to help.

Coach Mike Brown even said they are “force-feeding” Shaq the ball. This also means Shaq’s ego is multiplying daily.

I will respect the Cavs’ game, but I will stay “on message”.

Shaq will ruin this team if you let him. LeBron has a good head on his shoulders, but Shaq is an ego-maniac.

LeBron knows they probably have no chance of beating the Lakers 4 out of 7 times in the Finals. Why? It’s just their luck.

The Cavs look more and more like the Braves of basketball every time they destroy someone.

From 1991-2005 the Braves won: 94, 98, 104, 90, 96, 101, 106, 103, 95, 88, 101, 96, and 90 games not counting the ‘94 strike season. That’s 1262 games!

They only have one World Series Title to show for it. Anyone see the comparison there? It’s a little eerie if you asked me.

Just a warning: LeBron is right.  This means nothing without 4 wins in June.

If the Jazz and Hawks keep pushing we’re going to have some major shake-ups at the Top of the NBA.  Plus, the harder those teams push up the more other teams are pushed down.

The Magic, Celtics, Blazers, and Spurs need to be careful or they’ll find themselves on the outside looking in.

The Atlanta Hawks were down 4 points with 10 seconds to go against the Phoenix Suns when Jamal Crawford began to wave his magic wand…

The Hawks got within 2 points after Amare Stoudamire hit only 1 of 2 foul shots, and Hawks coach Mike Woodson called a timeout.  He aimed to draw up a play for an easy basket.  If you’re not into basketball let me explain:

When you’re down 2 points the other team is deathly afraid to foul you because they don’t want to give you a 3-point play as you go to the basket.  Well, Mike Woodson drew up such a play, but Jamal Crawford told his coach “I want the final shot”.

Coming out of a timeout…

Crawford as the “Sixth Man”

Jamal Crawford came over to the Hawks from Golden State in a trade for Acie Law and Speedy Claxton’s expiring contract –  around these parts we like to say that Speedy has nice suits.

The move was an admission that Acie Law was not the “answer” at point guard for Atlanta after they took him 11th overall in 2007.  This also meant there would be room for a “young buck” to learn and mature under the veteran Mike Bibby.

After being a “shot-taker” for the Hawks all season Crawford has stirred up all kinds of “sixth man of the year” talk.  Now I’m wondering how long before Crawford begins to slowly sponge minutes from some of Atlanta’s starters.

If the Hawks want to go small they could go with Crawford in the line-up instead of Marvin Williams, or they could use Crawford instead of Josh Smith to get a 3-man backcourt.

There is no limit to the holes Crawford can plug and eventually he could  replace Mike Bibby.  I’m not saying that the Hawks need to abandon Bibby, but Crawford is a very fresh “almost 30″ while Bibby is a very old 31.  I know the difference is slight, but Bibby is my age and seems SO much older than me.

What if the Hawks Start Crawford Just For “Funsies”?

Crawford is getting 30 minutes a night and he seems to be well-suited to coming off the bench.  Let’s draw a comparison to a “Superstar 6th Man”:

Lamar Odom has no problem coming off the bench for the Lakers.  He can start every now and then, but he couldn’t start for a whole season.  Plus, it would screw up his rhythm–as it has in the past–if he started the majority of the time.

The 30 minutes that Crawford’s getting every game is enough to mess with the opposition when they MUST sub guys in who are inferior to Crawford.

Imagine if Crawford had to face everyone’s “best” every night.  What then?  He’d become Bobby Jackson.

Bobby Jackson won the NBA Sixth Man of the Year Award in 2003 after starting 26 of 59 games he played in.  Bobby Jackson was the “6th man of 6th men” for almost his whole career.  The problem is that he got rewarded for it in the season where he started the second most games of his career.  He started 53 games for Denver in 97-98 when he was a highly touted rookie.

What happened after that?  He played a total of 75 games in the next two seasons combined.  Then he went to  Memphis and ran to the playoffs in 2006.  After that he limped through 3 seasons and somehow managed to play 81 games for the Kings before retiring at the end of last season.

You know what broke him?  Expectation.  Bobby started so many games in his “6th man season” that everyone thought he was Superman.  Starting Bobby at random screwed up his rhythm and made him prone to injury.

He’s a Ringer…

Jamal hasn’t started game number one for the Hawks and he shouldn’t, not for any reason.  Look at what happened to Bobby Jackson.  Lamar Odom started 77 of 77 games he played in 2007-2008 and what happened?  The Lakers fizzled in the Finals.

If you pay some kid 5 bucks to be a ringer at your sandlot kickball game you can only bring him that ONE time.  After that he isn’t a ringer anymore and the kids on the other side will know how to deal with him–probably by beating him up.  Plus, you’ll go broke paying this kid 5 bucks every day to play kickball.

Jamal can only be Atlanta’s “ace-in-the-hole” if he’s coming into the game off the bench, and every time he does the opposing coach says, “Damn!  They put Crawford in!”  Why?  Because the opposing coach knows he’s outmatched until he can get a starter back in to deal with Jamal.

The Telling Stat

As I’ve been hinting, the telling stat this season for Atlanta is the “GS” column for Jamal Crawford.  If Jamal has a zero in the “Games Started” column the Hawks will make it to the East Finals.  No doubt.  Every time that number gets bigger the Hawks’ chances slowly fade.

The Magic’s 6th man committee consists of:  J.J. Redick, Matt Barnes and Jason Williams.  None of those guys can hold Crawford’s jock.  Moreover, the only good shooter of the group is Redick and he was a better shooter in college than he is now.  He certainly isn’t as good as Crawford right now.

The Celtics’ 6th man is either Sheed or Eddie House.  Sheed’s older than dirt and Eddie House wears a headband, yells a lot, and occasionally makes a nice shot.

Cleveland has no 6th man because they have no one outside LeBron and Varejao.  In a crunch situation, a spot the Cavs don’t play well in, Crawford would chew up and spit out anyone the Cavs might sub in on his shift.

You know the best part?  No other Eastern Conference contender has a dude who plays as much as Crawford yet never starts.

Is He “The One”?

In “The Matrix” when Neo gets shot up by Agent Smith and rises from his own ashes, Morpheus just stands there dumbfounded and says, “He’s ‘The One”.  Don’t you think Mike Woodson said the same thing Saturday night when a dude who hasn’t started ONE FREAKIN’ GAME says “I want the final shot”… and made it?

Jamal Crawford is the “Keymaster” and Mike Woodson is the “Gatekeeper”.  Jamal hands the Hawks a key to East Finals if Mike Woodson keeps the starter’s gate closed to him all season.  It’s as simple as that.

Lane Kiffin and DeAngelo Hall have two things in common.  They have a tendency to piss off the wrong people and they are highly adept at getting people to give them large sums of money for no reason.

Now that Lane Kiffin has been named the Head Football Coach at USC I have to ask myself how two people who seem to be polar opposites could be so similar.  Lane Kiffin and DeAngelo Hall were definitely separated at birth!

The Anger

Lane Kiffin started his reign of terror in Head Coaching with the Oakland Raiders, but I believe the anger started much earlier.

It Started Early

When Kiffin was Co-Offensive Coordinator at USC with Steve Sarkisian these two guys were the biggest “rising stars” in football.  At some point I think Kiffin got tired of being the “boy” and not the “man”.

After the loss that USC took to Texas for the BCS National Championship Kiffin bolted for the worst coaching gig in the NFL:  the Oakland Raiders.  I truly believe this is where it all started.  Lane may have been a smart ass prior to 2006, but this was where it all came out.

Kiffin went to Oakland looking to be the “man” and turn around a horrid franchise.  When he ran into Al Davis senility and general lack of common sense Kiffin exploded.  He decided to piss off the craziest owner in all of professional sports.  Not only did he do stupid things (like sending Sebastian Janikowski out to attempt a 76-yard field goal), but he defended it stupidly too!

When Al Davis fired Kiffin “for cause” everyone on earth assumed that the old man had lost his marbles because Kiffin SHOULD have been a good coach.  Now we realize that Al Davis was right to fire an insubordinate punk like Kiffin.

Kiffin ran off to Tennessee and began accusing Urban Meyer of NCAA rules violations while committing his own.  He ran his mouth all season and it is even reported that he showed his players tapes of USC.  He told his players that they would make Tennessee the “USC of the South”.

Is it any surprise that he’s left Tennessee on bad terms?  Tennessee’s Athletic Director said he was disappointed (which is code for pissed off).  Moreover, Tennessee will probably get pinched for some serious rules violations and Kiffin won’t be around to feel the heat.

Lane Kiffin has a history of screwing with the wrong people, running his mouth, and leaving people holding the bag.

The Money

DeAngelo Hall also has a history of messing with the wrong people.  When he got to Atlanta he acted as if he was the reincarnation

DeAngelo Loves Money

of Deion Sanders.  He ticked off Arthur Blank and got himself traded to Oakland.  He took his rookie contract and signing bonus with him to Oakland where he was rewarded with a $70 million contract that had $24 million guaranteed.

After the Raiders cut him loose he took his rookie bonus, the $24 million from Oakland ran over to the Redskins.  What did the Redskins do?

They gave him a $55 million contract!  This dude has piled up over $120 million dollars in total contracts.  Granted, he hasn’t seen all of that money, but each contract has guarantees.

The Uncanny Similarity

Here’s where these stories converge.  Lane Kiffin has a tendency to run his mouth.  He also has a tendency to want power.  Plus, he

It's Only Fitting That They Both Landed In Oakland

gets paid alot of money everywhere he goes.

DeAngelo Hall has a thirst for fame and recognition.  He also has a tendency to run his mouth.  Plus, he’s been paid again and again by stupid NFL GM’s.

These two gentlemen crossed paths in Oakland where Kiffin was Hall’s coach in 2008.  Isn’t that strange?

I can’t help but admit that the first thing I thought when Lane Kiffin left for USC was “He’s DeAngelo Hall in coach form!”.  I hope you see it too.  The “uncanny similarity” was too much to pass up.

The General’s NBA Nothing But Ten is a place where I will rank the Top 10 teams in the NBA in my not so humble opinion.  No I don’t use a formula, I just call it like I see it. If you like formulas you can explain to me how one pundit’s formula has the Spurs as the 3^rd best team in the league.  Also included will be an “honorable mention” and a “dishonorable mention” for teams that require special attention but are not fit for the “Top 10”.

I’m not really sure where the season has gone or how it can take this long, but has anyone noticed that most teams in the NBA have played about 37 games and that puts everyone 4 games away from the halfway-point of their regular season?  Has anyone else realized that this season will last until mid-June when we FINALLY get the NBA Finals?

Honestly, how much work did it take for David Stern and his cronies to figure out how to stretch the season this long?

I suppose it would also be helpful to mention that the league is chock full of teams that could be “median teams”.  Like, if you’re better than them you’re good and if you’re not better than them you’re bad. This is where the NBA Top 10 came from.

I have no desire to pull apart a bunch of mid-range teams and try to figure out who is the “median bearer” and who isn’t.  When I said that the Packers were the “middle of the hourglass” in the NFL that was easy to figure out, but the NBA is not so clear cut.   Please don’t cite power rankings when you disagree.  I love comments, I don’t use a formula.

10.  Houston Rockets  -  Running on Avery

Houston is the best team in the history of sports at walking right through major injuries, bad trades, and using no-names to relative

success.  At the moment they are running Avery Brooks every night and letting Tracy McGrady beg for a trade while Yao Ming learns how to walk again (after marrying a hot Chinese basketball player no less) and Trevor Ariza attempts to live up to his contract.

There could not have been a worse trade than Artest for Ariza.  I know Artest is banged up in L.A., but he’s not supposed to be the man. When Houston gave Ariza all that money it immediately shined the spotlight on Ariza as if to say “Ok, you’re the new golden boy” and he isn’t really living up to his “golden boy” contract.

I really think they’re better off allowing Avery Brooks to be the star every night from the “1” and let the chips fall where they may.

At 21-16 and 3^rd place in the Southwest Division the Rockets hardly seem like a team that can afford to “let the chips fall where they may” but if they don’t do it now then when?   Is there some kind of equation that Senor Daryl is going to use to figure out which undrafted free agent to pick to run the team? NO!

Avery Brooks is “the man” right now!

This may sound stupid to some of you, but Avery Brooks can easily be the star in Houston, the face of the franchise, the golden boy, everything they need. Trade McGrady, dump Yao, and start over with Avery Brooks at the center of your team kicking the ball out to Ariza for clutch 3’s and watch the W’s roll in. Keep waiting for Ariza to be “the man” and you’ll be waiting all season (and all 3 years of his contract.)

9.  Denver Nuggets -  Chauncey’s Holding The Fort

Denver is the team that no one gets.  George Karl coaches them to modest success (not surprising) but they can’t do a whole lot in the playoffs.

Chauncey is working the floor like a general (I know, I like the General reference too) and he’s looking like an MVP, though no one would ever vote for him.  ‘Melo is playing inconsistently (as usual) so the best player on their team is a “game time decision” every single day.

Does it shock anybody else that the most consistent play of ‘Melo’s entire basketball career occurred during his freshman year of college when he led Syracuse to a National Title?  I thought the whole point of going to the NBA was to get better and it seems Melo has stagnated this whole time.

To be fair, he has improved, but not at the rate of some of his draftmates.  (D-Wade won a championship in Miami and LeBron is the “Prince” of Basketball.)

Here’s where I have to blame someone. I think George Karl is stunting Anthony’s growth.  There’s something about Karl that makes me think “Does he even care and therefore do his players care?”

If you look at the smug look on Karl’s face most nights you see a face that looks more like the Principal standing outside his office waiting for a bad kid.  If you’re Carmelo Anthony and you have to look at that face everyday wouldn’t you get a little discouraged?

If you’re Chauncey Billups wouldn’t you care less because you have more rings than Karl does?  Isn’t that why Chauncey is running the show and the team instantly improved when he got there?

8.  Atlanta Hawks -  Jamal Crawford Makes All The Difference

Atlanta just beat Boston AGAIN and I had to put them ahead of Denver because I think the difference may be slight in players but

large in coaching. Jamal Crawford has been a God-send for this team.   He makes clutch assists, steals, 3’s, everything on a nightly basis.

Jamal’s the perfect foil for someone like Joe Johnson who has no desire to be “the man” the way that guys like Kobe and LeBron are. Crawford is like the other half of “the man” so we really have like a “Transformer”-type star leading this team.  Take the two of them, put them together and you get one Superstar who can play 96 minutes a game if need be.

Plus, I think Mike Woodson has really done well to earn the trust of his players, his staff, and the whole organization.  This team has gotten better every year since he arrived in Atlanta from Detroit and Woody even convinced Josh Smith to be a “team player”.  Who knew that was possible?

Josh Childress left for Greece and everyone said “This team is SO unattractive” and now Childress has been reported to be BEGGING to get back into Atlanta.  Unfortunately for him, there’s no room at the inn.  Mike Woodson wins the coaching war over George Karl because at least his players are true believers in Mike Woodson’s ways.

7. Phoenix Suns -  They Don’t Miss D’Antoni Anymore

Steve Nash is finally having another “breakout” kind of year and now it seems like he’s not missing Mike D’Antoni so much.  The ironic part is that D’Antoni MUST be missing Nash and there’s nothing he can do about it up in New York. I  remember all the arguments about how Mike D’Antoni made Steve Nash.  Maybe, as others have suggested, Steve Nash made Mike D’Antoni.

If Alvin Gentry keeps this up he’ll be challenging the Lakers all season (which is fun for me because I love to watch the Lakers and Suns go toe-to-toe.)  Oh, and getting rid of Shaq was the smartest thing they ever did.

6.  Dallas Mavericks -  This Is An Ensemble Cast

Dallas just lost a heart breaker to the Jazz on the same day that the Cowboys won their first playoff game in forever, but that doesn’t mean they suck.  It means they lost to Deron Williams’ Utah Jazz.  Dallas is a solid team that uses all of its pieces well and does well to feature Dirk as “the man”.

Jason Kidd hides very well in this club making good passes and clutch shots on a nightly basis.  He finally figured out that he’s old and that he’s a role player.  As a result, the Mavs are playing very well.

If they stay on top of the Southwest all season (which will be hard with Houston behind them) they could make a run in the playoffs.  For me, the equation that makes the Mavs work has finally fallen into place.  As much as I want to harp on the ’06 Finals (because it still hurts them), I can’t deny that this formula pretty much works:

Dirk + JT + .5(Jason Kidd) x Mark Cuban = Success. (How far that success goes remains to be seen).

5.  Portland Trailblazers -  Jerryd Bayless is Growing Up

Yes, I have the Blazers all the way up here even though they lost to the Cavs the other night, but why?  The Blazers have made some important decisions in the past few months.

First, they decided to give up on the “Greg Oden Experiment” and shelve him for the entire year.  This means, in my opinion, that they are ready to keep him as a backup but not to build their team around him.

I remember when Oden came out, Portland won the lottery and everyone was asking Kevin Pritchard who he was going to pick.   He just sort of wrote off all those questions and said “We’re evaluating a lot of prospects” or something like that.

It was as if he didn’t even think about it and he just said “We’re taking Oden!” (Can you imagine the looks on his assistant’s faces?  Then they all turn to each other and say “How can we pick a 19 year old whose legs don’t work?”)  I hope he’s rethinking his scouting efforts now that Oden has turned out to be the most injury-prone player in recent memory.

You know what’s funny?  Oden seems like he’s hurting himself the same way Patrick Ewing did, but Ewing kept playing.

Second, they decided to run Jerryd Bayless out there and work him to death as he fills in for Andre Miller.  I listened to a large portion of the Blazers/Cavs game this weekend and if the announcer said Bayless once he said it a thousand times.

Bayless is capable of running this team RIGHT NOW and I think he might be the future in Portland with Brandon Roy and Lamarcus Aldridge.  I’m going to call it the “Avery Brooks Effect”.  Small guy comes in to sub for superstar and proves he’s better than superstar and franchise has to rethink its direction.

4.  Boston Celtics -  Old, But Good

Why do I have Boston up here?  Well, they keep winning.  It’s a balance of power thing more than anything else.  As much as we can

talk about the East being the stronger conference we all know that it isn’t the deepest.

True, there are bad teams in both conferences, but the worst of the worst are still in the East.  Boston’s only true threats are Cleveland, Orlando and (now) Atlanta.  If they were in the West they would have threats going all the way down to the 10^th or 11^th seed.

Why don’t I rank them lower if I think they’re so coddled?  They’re winning!

They are older than dirt and it will show late in the season and in the playoffs, but right now they’re winning and I have to respect that.  If I didn’t respect Ray Allen’s incessant clutch shooting, or knack for squaring his shoulders (even if he isn’t facing the basket) I’d be playing with fire.

3.  Orlando Magic -  Is Vince Carter Enough?

If Dwight Howard learns how to make free throws this team could be really dangerous, but they are running on fumes in the injury

department. Jameer Nelson still isn’t right and Vince Carter is banged up so they’re relying heavily on J.J. Redick, Matt Barnes, and Jason Williams.

Now, I’m not saying any of these guys are bad players, but they aren’t great either.  Vince is one stubbed toe away from losing his mind, Jameer is supposed to make things tick but isn’t, their points leader is Vince Carter (serious ego problem coming here), and their assist leader is Jason Williams (who Vince will demand the ball from.)

Either they learn how to make this work or it all crumbles at the wrong time with some hurt feelings like it did last year with Rafer Alston.  Orlando is playing well, but this is a tenuous “well” at the moment.

2.  Los Angeles Lakers -  It’s Slump Time

The Lakers had the best record in the NBA before hitting a dry spell that included injuries to Kobe, Pau, and Artest.  The defense is getting lax (in part because Artest and Kobe are hurt) so all of the people saying that the defense left the Forum need to slow down.  If coaching is as big a deal as I say it is then Phil can right the ship.

Will I get over the Christmas Day loss to Cleveland?  Yes.  Will I get over some defensive mishaps?  Yes.  Why?  Because I don’t care about 70 wins and neither should the Lakers.  Everyone expects them to ride at the top of the league all season and it just isn’t going to happen.   When it takes from October to April to play the regular season there’s bound to be bumps in the road.

Here’s difference with the Lakers–they recover from bumps in the road.  Orlando may not be able to recover from an “ego explosion”, the Celtics can’t stop the aging process, and the Blazers can’t stop Bayless from being green, but the Lakers can stop a skid and come back from injuries.

Look at what they did after they lost the ’08 Finals only to come back and win it all in ’09.  This team is resilient AND has hardware.  This should count for something and we’ll have to see if I’m right, but I really think I am.

1.  Cleveland Cavaliers -  I Don’t Buy It

The Cavs are on a roll at 30-10, but I still must ask questions.   Yes, I respect how they’re playing and I can’t deny the fact that they

are playing really good basketball right now.  Hooooowever, don’t we all find it a little bit odd that Anderson Varejao is leading the team in Blocks and Rebounds while LeBron leads in Assists and Points but Shaq is nowhere to be found?

Shaq’s averaging 10 points, a block, and 7 rebounds a game in 23 minutes.  First off, he can say that he knows his role, but that’s a lie…eventually he’ll be OVER THIS!   Second, LeBron pretty much has a block per game too.  Don’t you think that burns Shaq up inside?

Why am I picking on Shaq?  Easy…he’s left the Magic, Lakers, Heat and Suns ALL on bad terms and those are the only teams he’s ever played for besides the Cavs.  He’s got to know that the Cavs have been the Braves/Bills of the NBA and he wants to take them to the Promised Land.

Well, on 22 minutes, 10 points, 7 boards, and a block Shaq isn’t taking the team around the corner.    He’s got to sit back and let LeBron play and I KNOW that he can only stand that for so long.  As soon as he saw Kobe becoming the man in L.A. he got himself traded by acting like a fool and pissing off Kobe enough for Kobe to say “It’s him or me”.

Next, he left the Heat when everyone credited D-Wade with their championship.  In Phoenix when Steve Nash wouldn’t just hand the ball over Shaq got pissed and now we’re here in Cleveland thinking Shaq is the Answer.  There’s only one Answer, by the way, and that is AI.

I think the Cavs will be #1, #2, or #3 all season, but in the playoffs this little charade will slowly crumble and it may not happen until the Finals.  This charade will cease to exist because Shaq’s ego is NOT in check, it never has been and it never will be.   Take Shaq off this team and replace him with Nene or Zaza Pachulia and you’ve got something going, but leave Shaq on this team and he will infect everyone before the season is over.

A volatile guy like Delonte West can’t be around a guy like Shaq all year before Shaq’s attitude, overt or not, makes West think he can be the man.  That attitude spills over to Mo Williams, and then it’s on Jamario Moon, and then Ilgauskas starts jacking up 3’s for no reason, and the season’s over in a heartbeat like it was last season in Orlando.

They will repeat their recent history, but it will sting more because all eyes will be on Shaq.  Everyone will know he was the cancer and there won’t be anything he can do about it.

Beware Cavs fans…there’s a snake in the grass.

Honorable Mention – Oklahoma City Thunder -  Cinderella’s At The Ball

Okie City has the next superstar on the verge of going completely insane (he’s averaging 32 points a game in his last 10 games)

playing alongside Jeff Green and Russell Westbrook.  They’re fielding James Harden and Nick Collison as well and I don’t see how I can go wrong here.

At 20-16, they have all the makings of a Cinderella and none of the baggage.  In the infamous “If the playoffs started today” scenario the Thunder would be the #8 playing the Lakers.  My Lakers!

Trust me when I say that though I have full confidence that the Lakers can win another title, I WOULD NOT want to start off as the #1 playing #8 Oklahoma City.  This team is scary and it’s not just Durant.  He’s raising up a whole army of players who will fight to the death with him.  Just watch.  I’ll bet you anything they beat the Spurs and the Mavs in their next two.

Dishonorable Mention – Chicago Bulls -  They Aren’t Babies And They Stink

Chicago came within a hair of beating Boston in the best 1^st Round Playoff Series ever last year and now they can’t even buy a win.

They’re 16-20 and 12 games out in the Central (ALREADY)!  Derrick Rose leads the team in points but he’s only scoring 18 a night.  That just isn’t enough!

If you’re this far behind in a weak Eastern Conference then what are we supposed to do with you?  The beat down they issued to the Pistons isn’t a defense either.  Detroit is just as disappointing as the Bulls, but at least we thought the Bulls were going somewhere.

They aren’t the “baby bulls” anymore and their level of expectation needs to shoot through the roof before someone comes in and cleans house.   BTW,  this isn’t Vinny Del Negro’s fault.

Vinny’s got Luol Deng making $10 million this year and scoring 17 a night.  That’s pathetic given all the hype that surrounded Deng.  If the Bulls paid me $10 million a year to play basketball and I wasn’t scoring AT LEAST 20 a night I’d be stricken.

Kirk Hinrich is making $9 million and he’s a nice little shooter but he isn’t making the team GO anywhere.  Brad Miller’s the highest-paid player on the team at $12 million and he’s too old to run up and down the court consistently.  That’s why he only gets 21 minutes a game!

To wrap it up let me say that I still have faith in my Lakers.  I will respect the Cavs and Celtics.  I will not respect the Bulls or the Pistons, and I’m on the lookout for KD and the Thunder.

I could sit here and say that I’ve got it all figured out, but there are more questions than answers.  As we play into the A;;-Star Game hopefully somebody will make a statement that brings us clarity.  Until then we can only watch and wait.