Photo by BrokenSphere

When the Raiders are on the verge of releasing Jamarcus Russell, I have to ask myself, “When do you press the panic button?”  There are 32 teams in the NFL and some need to make a change before it’s too late.

There are three degrees of “needing a change.” There’s the, “we need to do something before we’re tarred and feathered.” Also, the, “we need one more impact player and we need to get him at all costs.”

But the most dangerous is, “we think we might need to make a move, but we’ve already waited too long and we don’t even realize it.” The teams in this category are sitting on a powder keg.

This highest degree of “need” is also codependent on complacency. Even the best franchises think it’s “ok.” However, the danger lies beneath the surface.

Who’s ready to be eaten alive by their own stupidity?

Arizona’s Delicate Quarterback Condition

Photo by John Trainor

The Cardinals just retired Kurt Warner—a probable Hall of Famer—and they have only Matt Leinart and Derek Anderson in reserve.

To be fair, Derek Anderson is a pretty good QB. However, he isn’t Kurt Warner. Heck, he isn’t even Joe Flacco.

In light of this, they took John Skelton out Fordham in the 5^th Round. Perhaps he could be a project, but this offense will not stay together without immediate “impact” at quarterback.

Anquan Bolden already hated it in Arizona when Kurt Warner was there. How long before Steve Breston and Larry Fitzgerald get tired of it?  Not long under the Skelton, Leinart and Anderson regime.

Honestly, does Ken Whisenhunt think he can keep this team together while these guys “find themselves?”

The Cards took a “project” QB in the draft. They already have a “project” in Matt Leinart, and now a serviceable backup in Anderson. How does Whisenhunt explain this one?

“Ok boys, we’re going to shift to a run-focus this year. We’re trying to get Skelton, Anderson and Leinart acclimated. So, Larry, your numbers are going to suffer indefinitely.”

Yeah, that won’t go over well. You can’t miss an opportunity to trade up in the draft. You can’t then draft a “major project” at quarterback, and then let the offense suffer.

Are they going to sell the fans and the team on getting Jake Locker next year? I hope not. That would be a dastardly form of “false hope.”

It seems like the Cards are trying to replace a Hall of Famer with quarterback-by-committee. They just throw them all up against the wall and see who sticks.

If they’re buying their own hype—they don’t even know they are in a free fall. Where’s the “red phone” when you need it?

Oakland’s “Bay of Indecision”

The Raiders looked set to release Jamarcus Russell. Now, they don’t seem to be getting the “green light” from Al Davis. Are they going to take a few steps back?

Oakland had a great draft. They brought in Rolando McClain. They added multiple players on defense and even drafted two offensive tackles. They looked poised to move in a better direction.

But doesn’t holding on to Russell signal the, “it’ll work itself out,” philosophy? Oakland can’t afford to go one more second without making changes on the QB depth chart.

They have Jason Campbell—who could be their “man” for the next 10 years. However, letting Russell sit back there will always eat at Campbell. Why?

Jason Campbell will always wonder when Russell will be called up by the senile Al Davis. That can’t be a comforting thought.

Campbell will have more protection, more weapons, and a better defense, but he won’t have total security.

Total security comes when the team shows him that he alone is “the man” and that they are ready to carve a new path. Until then, he’ll always be on the edge of his seat.

The Raiders have made strides, but if they don’t take this final step, they may have held onto Russell for too long—killing Campbell’s “comfort zone.” Is that damage they can repair?

Campbell is a little fragile as it is. He understands instability, but keeping Russell around may be the proverbial “straw.”

If you aren’t pressing the panic button in Oakland—you should be.

You Don’t Have to be Barney Fife to Shoot Yourself in the Foot

Photo by Keith Lovett

The Eagles already traded Donovan McNabb to the Redskins—a division rival. Now, they are rewarding Kevin Kolb for being the last man standing.

Kolb was given a one-year $12.5 million extension this week. I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry, but the “red phone” should be out in Philly.

This team just jettisoned a Hall of Famer and rewarded their unproven backup with $12.5 million dollars. How do you explain that one to the team?

“Fellas, I know Donovan’s gone and that’s hard for some of you, but Kevin Kolb hasn’t done a damn thing and we’re giving his $12.5 million. Sorry, you’re not getting a raise anytime soon.”

If that’s not asking for mutiny—what is? The Eagles just destroyed their team’s chemistry. They traded the wrong guy, rewarded the wrong guy and offered nothing to the team at-large.

Kevin Kolb is hearing, “You’re the man,” and the team is hearing, “We could give a damn.” Kolb’s ego goes up—the team’s morale goes down.

That’s a disaster waiting to happen. The Eagles could have at least waited on the extension, drafted a “project” and made it a “competition” at quarterback.

Kolb would have a chance to earn the team’s respect, and he would be pushed to work hard. Now he has no incentive to work hard, and the team probably resents every penny of that 12.5 million.

The Steelers’ “Own Private Pond”

Photo by Joey Gannon

The Steelers are sitting on a sort of “lame duck” Quarterback. Ben Roethlisberger has alienated the fan base, his teammates and the ownership with his behavior.  He also has nowhere to go—since he hasn’t been traded yet.

The Steelers probably figure that not trading him is “ok” since he can play and they have Dennis Dixon. However, Ben isn’t getting any younger, and he clearly isn’t getting any smarter.

He’s one more alleged sexual assault or one more motorcycle accident from forced retirement, indefinite suspension or the pokey. Can he really keep Pittsburgh “in limbo” like that?

Basically, the Roethlisberger situation is worse than the Favre situation in Minnesota. Brett Favre is just waiting to decide if he’ll play again.  Ben could be stupid at any moment.

If Big Ben’s teammates don’t respect him, then how do the Steelers expect to win games? The team’s chemistry just went out the window “T.O. style.”

If the fans don’t like him then how can Pittsburgh be a hard place to play? The fan base might be noticeably disinterested.

If the ownership has shopped Roethlisberger, then how can there ever be offensive security with him at the helm? The team’s chemistry takes blow number two.

The Steelers should have made a move to get a QB in this draft. There were too many to go “quarterbackless.” Now the Steelers are a nanosecond from a catastrophe for the duration of Big Ben’s career.

The Steelers have already missed the mark, and they don’t even realize it. I just don’t see how they can compete with this reality tainting their locker room.

The Rooneys sent out an SOS and it wasn’t answered. This could be a long, slow fall for the Steelers.

I can’t make you believe me, but I can ask you one question. Would you want to be in the Raiders, Eagles, Cardinals or Steelers position right now?

The answer is no.  Please don’t kid yourself.  No one wants to be backed into a corner and—whether they admit it or not—all four of these teams are in a corner.

I wish I could be Patrick Swayze—RIP—and pull the, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner,” but these teams did it to themselves.

Every one of these teams could have an unbelievable season, but how long before my prophecies come true?

It’s only a matter of time.

Photo by Kevin Burkett

Donovan McNabb‘s move to the Washington Redskins isn’t only about a shrewd move on Washington’s part.  Donovan said himself that he wants to write a “new chapter” in the story of Donovan.  That chapter could include the reformation of the running Quarterback.

He couldn’t do both in Philadelphia.  He couldn’t fight the fans who always hated him–they even booed him the minute he was drafted.  He couldn’t satisfy them with relative success.  He couldn’t relish his own evolution as a player.

T-Oh Go Away!

The franchise never made a “full-bodied” commitment to him.  Never once did they give him a top-flight receiver.  The only option he ever had was a loud-mouthed Terrell Owens.

Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, and even Rich Gannon have had “shut-up guys” to throw the ball at:  Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Wes Welker, Tim Brown, even Randy Moss.

Donovan had a locker-room “cancer” in T.O., and over-inflated ego in Freddie Mitchell, and no time with his only good receiver in DeSean Jackson.  Consequently, Jackson actually dropped the ball before the goal while he was celebrating.  None of these people are befitting a Hall of Fame QB.

Donovan never had support in the backfield either.  Correll Buckhalter and Brian Westbrook were simply “release valves” in Philly’s “pass-happy” offense.

In the comparison between John Elway and McNabb, John Elway had Terrell Davis–McNabb has a receivers with low numbers on their backs.

What Do The Redskins Bring To The Table?

Photo by Brian Allison

The Redskins offer Donovan a chance to get out from under the unfair stereotype of the “black/running Quarterback”.  Honestly, this is about the “run-around guy” versus the “drop back guy”, but black QB’s tend to be pushed into the “run-around” mode too quickly.

Think of all the guys who were used for their athletic ability and then panned–even by people like me–for not being very good passers.  Michael Vick fits that mold.  Tim Tebow fits that mold.

So, it’s even deeper than the “racial thing”.  It goes to the core of “athleticism vs. passing”.

The Redskins bring solid runners to the table.  They have Larry Johnson and Willie Parker on the roster.  It doesn’t matter how old they are–they can run in Shanahan’s system.

Donovan finally has something greater than the “release valve” he had in Philadelphia.

Other Guys Have Been “Release Valves” Too

In Atlanta, Mike Vick was release valve in Atlanta over Warrick Dunn.  Tim Tebow was the release valve at Florida.  Steve Young even had to play “release valve” at times in San Francisco–and I feel lucky to have his one Super Bowl win.

In Washington Donovan can have anybody he wants.  Dan Snyder is not afraid to spend money and he isn’t afraid to speak his mind.  If Donovan says he wants help then Snyder will say, “Let it be so”.

The Redskins offer a place where few “run around” guys have lived.  A place that has release valves–and lots of them.

What Does Mike Shanahan Have To Offer?

Mike Shanahan offers unconditional love.  Shanahan knows exactly the problem with the “run around” stereotype.  John Elway didn’t catch a ton of heat in Denver for losing 3 Super Bowls.

However, Mike Shanahan knew how hard it was for Elway to stand alone as the “release valve”.  He–essentially–developed an offense tailor-made for the “run-around guy”.

Zone blocking is unconditional love for a guy who would love nothing more than to rest occasionally and hand off the ball.  The effective use of slot receivers is unconditional love for the guy who needs to dump the ball instead of run for his life.

Shanahan And McNabb Were Made For Each Other

Moreover, Mike Shanahan’s offense was made for any QB who was made into the “run around guy” and not allowed a “release valve”.

Sure, Terrell Davis was the beginning, but anybody can run for 1000 yards in Shanahan’s scheme.  Brian Westbrook–for all his accolades–only had two 1000-yard running seasons.  That’s not consistency.  The “run-around guy” can’t develop without consistency in the backfield.

Mike Shanahan’s unconditional love/zone blocking/consistent running game will allow Donovan to be fresher than he’s ever been.  Donovan will see the field more clearly.  Donovan won’t get hurt.  Donovan won’t feel the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Mike Shanahan will save Donovan McNabb’s life.  It’s too bad he couldn’t save Michael Vick, Akili Smith, Eric Crouch, and the hundreds of other “busts” at the QB position.

The Redskins Are Over The Moon

I can’t imagine a franchise being much happier–besides winning a Super Bowl.  The Redskins had a Hall of Fame caliber Quarterback fall in their laps.  Mike Shanahan gushed over Donovan’s credentials in his introductory press conference:

“When I went to Denver, as Donovan had mentioned, John Elway was entering his 13th year. When I was in San Francisco, when Steve Young won the Super Bowl, he was in his 11th year. And when you do have a quarterback that has won, a quarterback who that knows how to lead, a quarterback that knows how to set the standard, it sets the tempo for the rest of the team. It doesn’t happen very often when you have players like that, yet in the situation that we were in I felt very, very fortunate for this to come about.”

You can’t sing his praises much higher than to compare McNabb to Steve Young and John Elway.  Carlos Rogers even appreciates Donovan’s impact on both sides of the ball:

“[He's a] real good quarterback, you know?   Can make all the throws, he can still scramble, he can run, he’s just a leader and [can] take command of the offense.  He’s just an outstanding leader, and when you got that guy at your quarterback position, everybody just follows him and good things can happen.”

The Redskins know they hit the jackpot, but…

Does This Equal A Super Bowl Win?

Any team that puts a proven “release valve/run-around guy” in a “run first” situation is instantly better for it.  The reverse is also true.

If we look again at the Eagles we see that they have Mike Vick on the roster.  He could go in Kevin Kolb tomorrow and have no running game to support him.  He’ll fail because he’ll be–once again–the release valve.

Kevin Kolb will not be expected to win games by himself and he may thrive slinging the ball around because he won’t be the “release valve”.  Kolb could improve the Eagles because of the situation–not because of Donovan’s previous “lack of ability”.

If Tim Tebow goes to a team that does not go to a team that wants him as a “project” he’ll fail.  He will be expected to win games he can’t win and he’ll be Donovan McNabb 2.0.  As nice as he is–fans in his town will hate him because he “can’t get it done”.

Conversely, someone like Sam Bradford or Colt McCoy “needs” a solid running game and they’ll get it.  They’ll be beloved because they’re “working so hard” when, in fact, they aren’t working as hard as a McNabb or Vick or Tebow in “release valve” mode.

Does this new balance in his playing equal a championship for Donovan?  I think it does.  Maybe not this year, but before he retires he’ll win one.

He will feel like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.  It will be as if he’s sitting in a lawnchair in the backfield and letting the game come to him.

Isn’t That How “Drop Back” Guys Play?

Photo by Kevin Burkett

Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, and Drew Brees all have “release valves” in their offenses.  Brees has Thomas, Bush, Colston, Meachem, and Shockey.

Manning has Wayne, Gonzalez, Addai, Clark, Collie, and Garcon.  Brady has Welker, Moss, Mauroney, and Edelman.  All McNabb ever had were Buckhalter, Mitchell, and Westbrook–and we know the story on them.

But he didn’t need help!  Nobody in Philly thought so and they booed him relentlessly for it.  In Philly McNabb was an island.  In Washington he’ll be a peninsula–a natural out-growth of the offense.

You can’t say someone has insane ability and expect him to win a team game by himself.  We don’t expect Brady, Manning, Brees, Montana, Bradshaw, or Staubach to do it.  Why would we ask McNabb to do it?

All this boils down to one thing:  Mismanagement of the Eagles.  They drafted their dream guy and did more than anyone every should–or could–with next-to-nothing.  Afterwards they threw him out for not “getting it done”.

Donovan will “get it done” in Washington, but he’ll do it with a release valve, unconditional love from his coach, and proper management.  That’s my take and I’m riding it to the finish!

Photo from: Bratislava Photos

In today’s episode we find many NFL teams on the prowl for new talent.  Some players are hitting the street-corners looking for new homes, and the General is asking all the right questions…

Remember that show on USA—“Silk Stalkings”—I loved that show.  It was cool, and there WAS a lot of stalking in it, and some detective work too.  People following people who are following other people.  Very weird stuff.

The NFL’s not much different.

I’m not setting out to pick on the Broncos, but they made a stunning move this weekend.  They traded a fullback—Peyton Hillis—a 2011 6^th Rounder, and a 2012 conditional pick for Brady Quinn.

Why is this weird?  They wanted Quinn last year when they wanted to dump Jay Cutler on his ass, but Quinn was unavailable.  They went back to the scene of the crime this offseason and found Quinn in a chalk outline.

Mike Holmgren had just come on-board, he didn’t fire Eric Mangini, and he was cleaning house.  The Browns have Delhomme and they don’t need Quinn anymore.  Quinn wasn’t Holmgren’s mistake so it didn’t hurt him at all to send him packing.

For the Browns, it was a smart trade because they might get something valuable out of it.  For the Broncos it’s like chasing an unrequited love.  A love that is here now, but it doesn’t mean as much as it did last year.

Are NFL teams chasing the wrong guys?  Are they rewriting “Jane Eyre” over and over with every offseason?  I think so…

We’ll Follow You Until You Love Us

Joshie sees Quarterbacks... Photo from: NJ.com

Ever noticed how creepy Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” is?  She says, “I’ll follow you ‘til you love me”.  Um…yeah…creepy…stalker.  Anyways, this is how it feels with so many teams.

The Broncos wanted Quinn in 2009 and now they have him—in 2010.  I would say Quinn is the prime example of “Paparazzi” Syndrome in the NFL.  They followed him until his current team MADE him love the Broncos.

It’s no surprise that the Broncos took the bad trade for Quinn because they’d been stalking him since last year.  They were hoping that every Cleveland loss put them one step closer to being able to pick him up off the scrap-heap.

This is an odd way for NFL teams to watch football, but we know they do it.  They watch other teams and hope that they suck so that:

1. They can make the playoffs, and
2. They can pick up players off that team in a “fire sale”

You’d think that NFL teams would want to see good competition across the board, but they’ve come to terms with parity.  That means that NFL teams are HOPING other teams tank every season.

If you’re Denver and you’re just waiting for Cleveland to collapse you’re also wishing the Ravens into the playoffs ahead of you.  That’s what happened this season—I hope it was worth it.

I’ll Follow Them Until They Love Me

Photo from: The Mesh Life

In the age of free-agency and posturing players stalk teams too.  Who’s the most notable example?

T.O. refusing a trade to Baltimore so he could maneuver his way up to Philly tops the list.  He stalked the Eagles and Donovan McNabb for weeks to make his way in there—and it worked!

What did Julius Peppers do?  He stalked the Bears and other teams that wanted him the past few years by being unhappy in Carolina.

Every player who gripes his way out of town isn’t giving his best in his current location and cannot be fully trusted in his new location.  This trend is creating an entire generations of players who cannot be trusted.

What did Michael Vick do?  He stalked the Panthers through the media.  He said:

“Well, you know, it’s close to home. I like the uniforms. You get to play against Atlanta twice a year. Ain’t nothing better than playing against your former team, right? So, yeah, that would be a good look, it would be a good look.”

Not only did he sound like a fool, but he put the Eagles, the Panthers, Jake Delhomme, and himself in a bad position.  If teams have rules they need to have rules against “media stalking”.

Teams do it all the time when they leak rumors about wanting “this coach” or “that coach” so why aren’t players held to the same standard?  Why aren’t players told to keep their mouths shut—and their agents too?

If Mike Moore—the Panthers new starter—blew out his knee tomorrow don’t you think Vick would be back on the air?  You bet he would.

We’ll Work You Out Until You Love Us

Eli no want to play for Chargers Photo from: CNN

With the combine gone and only pro days left we have teams fawning over prospects in the same manner as free agents.  They work these kids out or visit them at “pro days” AND they play nice.

No one wants an Eli Manning or a John Elway situation.  No one wants to be told a player won’t play for them so they engage in fakery.  They’re overly nice to the kids they want to draft in the hopes that the kid will think everything is peachy.

This is why you see so much “media stalking” by players.  They were told one thing then experienced another after they were drafted.

Now, I don’t feel sorry for over-privileged millionaires who’ve never played a down.  However, I can see how someone can get disillusioned because “The Ritz” wasn’t the “Real McCoy”.

The same thing happens with free-agents.  Down here in Atlanta they take free-agents to Bones—a local steakhouse—and “wine and dine” them.

I even heard Dunta Robinson—the Falcons newest Cornerback—say that after they took him out that he felt like they wanted him.  Honestly, a handshake and a look-in-the-eye should have been enough.

We’ll “Contract Negotiate” You Until You Love Us

Photo from: Sel.co.uk

Now that the owners and the league have this to go on for a while we’re going to have to talk this thing out.

The owners want to have power to make more money.  The players want the power to stalk teams in the media and make money.  The union wants to protect the players but knows it’s in a bad spot.

Oh, and the league knows this could blow up in their face.

Basically, I think the owners are angling on “negotiating” the players until they love them again—until the players can appreciate how much money they make.

Now, I’m not crying for rich, over-privileged owners either, but the players are going to look bad if they are going to cry about being millionaires.  It’s just in bad taste.

Between the creepy stalking, the bad trades, and the impending negotiations I’d say we have a weird love triangle going on.

All of them love money; all of them love publicity, but who loves being right the most?  In the end, that’s going to make all the difference—and maybe a restraining order or two.

I think "honor"--and brains--in the NFL just went out the window. Photo from: ESPN

We have officially entered the “uncapped” trade waters.  The winds of cash are blowing every which way in the NFL and some teams are about to get themselves into trouble.

I think I’ve got the 5 scenarios that illustrate why this can turn out really badly.  Not because people won’t get paid, but because it will lead to a lockout.

Yes, the “cash winds” are blowing, but they are blowing the owners right out of the water.  We could talk about the “action” but what we really need to talk about is how badly this can go–I know, I’m not exactly an optimist.

I don’t feel sorry for a bunch of rich-egomaniacs, but I do see harm being done to the league.  This COULD get out of hand and it’s all in the details.  Once again, the “action” might be interesting, but I’m much more concerned about the consequences.

What did Newton–Isaac, not Nate– say?  “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”.

The league is walking a pretty steep slope.  Even if the CBA is renegotiated this ONE season could throw everything out of whack.

Kampman LEAVES Green Bay

I almost called this “Kampman to Jacksonville”.  However, this is about Kampman LEAVING Green Bay than anything.

I had based every thought or prediction for 2010 on that Green Bay defense staying together.  ALL OF IT!  Raji, Hawk, and Kampman were a good crew.  Kampman followed the money and now things are getting wonky.

Without a piece of that defense returning how can I have full-confidence in the Packers?  They lost on a heartbreaker/fluke in the playoffs, but their defense got them there just as much as their offense.

Can they replace Kampman?  I don’t think so.  Someone can fill his slot, but they’d have to draft HIGH to get someone like him at his position.  So, they’ll probably overspend to replace him.

Aaron Kampman took the money—can’t blame him—and screwed my 2010 predictions for the whole NFC.

By the way, Jacksonville can’t sell tickets.  How long before they start hemorrhaging financially?

This Is Saving Lovie’s Job?

This is saving Lovie's job? Photo from: Wikimedia

The Chicago Bears spent a TON of money on 3 guys who will not help them.

Brandon Manumaleuna is a blocking Tight End who got a long-term deal.  Last time I checked a BLOCKING TIGHT END doesn’t score.  Isn’t that the Bears’ problem?

Plus, we have experience with that in Atlanta.  The Falcons signed Eric Beverly to too much money and it did NOTHING.  This is a stupid idea.

Nevermind Chester Taylor.  I like him, but he’s old.  Sorry.

Notice how bad things got with Ced Benson?  I think that was a coaching relationship gone bad.  Bring in Chester Taylor and you can’t guarantee HE won’t get frustrated too.

Then they paid Julius Peppers a fortune to come to Chicago, but…

Did you notice how lonely Albert Haynesworth and Kyle Vanden Bosch were this season?  They needed each other.  Can we assure Chicagoans that Peppers can do this by himself if he needs to?

The Bears are hoping for Reggie White 2.0, but there will never be another Reggie White.  He revamped a whole franchise.  You think a complainer like Peppers can do that?  Peppers doesn’t have it in him.

What happens when the cap comes back and they have to account for all this money; Especially Taylor and Manumaleuna?  What then?  Lovie’s probably going to get fired over this, AND the Bears will be in the hole for years to come.  Oops!

Eagles Pay Vick’s Roster Bonus

Enjoy this pic. Mike's only throwing one pass this season. Photo from: NY Daily News

The Eagles are—supposedly—trying to get rid of Donovan McNabb and since this is an “uncapped” offseason they can afford to pay Mike Vick.

Some people might say they chose “depth” and I say they chose “we don’t know what the hell we’re doing with McNabb”.

I’ll bet you anything that someone in the Philly front office is willing to gamble on Mike Vick if they can get the team to release or trade McNabb.  What a stupid idea!

How hard would it be for the Eagles to just use Vick as trade bait for a desperate team?  How much smarter would it be to get MORE back for him?  And it would be cheaper too.

Mike Vick isn’t going to used half as much as he should in Philly and they’re hogging him because they don’t know what to do with McNabb.  It would be one thing if they were going to use him—but that ain’t happenin’.

This “uncapped” crap is making people spend money for no reason.  You can’t go all crazy just because the league can’t get it together.  If you’re Philly, this isn’t your chance to “go Daddy Warbucks”.

Once again—who will account for this money AFTER the cap is reinstated?

Tebow to workout for Seattle and Buffalo

Tim might indirectly incite a lockout. Photo from: CNNSI

The final piece of my equation involves a prospect.

Tim Tebow has been working his ass off in “parts unknown” with every “guru” you can imagine trying to get his mechanics right.

I like the guy, but I had written him off earlier in this process.  Then I saw video of him making very nice throws in a workout.  I’m not sure what to believe, but I know this:

If Tebow works out for the Seahawks and Bills and they even remotely like him they WILL draft him; given even this new workout video that might be enough.

The Seahawks go 6.  The Bills go 9.  Then the Seahawks go 14.  You mean to tell me that if they like this guy and take him in the TOP 15 that they won’t overpay him?

The Rookie Cap

Don’t’ you think that the owners are going to bitch up a storm over this?  Either the Bills or the Seahawks overpay a mid-1^st Rounder and the sticking point WILL be the Rookie Cap.

Somebody is going to get honked off about this if I’m right.  The way Tebow looks now it’s only a matter of time before Pete Carroll’s or Chan Gailey’s ego kicks in and says, “I can make this kid a STAR!”.

The combination of coach-ego, owner-cash flow, and this “uncapped” mess is going to bankrupt a team, competitively destroy another couple teams for a decade, and piss of the owners.

Mark my words—this is the thing that will derail the CBA negotiations and—possibly—the 2011 regular season.  Let’s start telling the owners and players how nuts this is before it’s too late.

Personally, I like the “Rooney Rule”.  He came out and said the Steelers weren’t going crazy because of the uncapped offseason.  They may be the only solvent team left when this is over with.

I hope that isn’t the case: I want to have something to write about next season…

Jake Delhomme: Photo by: Streeter Lecka

Finally, I’ve seen the face of reason.  Jake Delhomme has been cut by the Carolina Panthers to allow Matt Moore to become their new starter.

I was beginning to think that Jake Delhomme was going haunt me well into my 40’s with his horrific play on a fat contract.  Alas, the Panthers finally got smart!

In the opposite spirit, the Detroit Lions signed Nate Burleson to a 5-year deal to draw him away from Seattle.  Personally, I’m not sure what the Lions plan on doing with Burleson, but I’ve got some ideas.

Oh, and the Chargers were dumb enough to trade Antonio Cromartie to the Jets for a 3rd Rounder.  It almost seems unfair to let Cromartie play in the same defensive backfield as Darelle Revis, doesn’t it?

Let’s have some fun with this and play “Pretender or Contender” with the teams who are making early moves in free agency.

Delhomme Cut

The Panthers parted ways with an underperforming Jake Delhomme.  However, they damaged their franchise in the process–they lost $12 million.

Not once did they think of the implications of giving him a HUGE extension even though he didn’t deserve it.  They made the team think he was there to stay.  Now he’s gone.

The offense MAY improve with Matt Moore at the helm, but some guys in that locker room are pissed.  Can’t you imagine?

Now John Fox is going to have to work double-time to soothe bruised emotions.  This is why the NFC South is so “up and down”.  These teams can’t be consistently smart.

The Falcons always buy into players too late and the Bucs fired a Super Bowl-winner.  The hurt feelings for the Panthers—combined with Julius Peppers jumping ship—will make this team a relative non-factor next season.

However, the offense will improve without Delhomme so there might be some hope.  Maybe.

Contender…barely

Burleson to Lions

Calvin Johnson: Photo from: The Red Zone Report

Why do you sign a receiver to a 5-year deal when Calvin Johnson is on your roster?  I don’t know.  Is Burleson supposed to be their new slot receiver?  Would you give a slot receiver such a lengthy contract?

Is a possession receiver worth ANY guaranteed money?  Nope.  Does Jim Schwartz think he can do something with this?  Yes.  Is that stupid?  Yes.

This is a desperate team looking to make a splash.  They splashed on offense when their QB easily gets injured and isn’t quite ready yet.

By the way, they already have Calvin Johnson.  Did I mention that?

Pretender making the wrong moves…

Cromartie to Jets

Antonio Cromartie One-Handed INT: Photo from: mkrob.com

This IS totally unfair.  Remember in school when you played Volleyball and you could call a “hinder” and do the play over?  I bet the AFC East wants to call a “hinder”.

Hopefully Chargers fans are smart enough to want a “hinder” as well.  Do we see why I’ve been riding A.J. Smith’s ass for months now?

He traded the emotional leader of their defense to the VERY team that booted them out of the playoffs.  As my Dad says, “How stupid can you be?”.

Combine Cromartie’s exit with LDT leaving and you’ve got some seriously hurt feelings in San Diego.  The two best players on that team—in my opinion—are gone and you gave a kick-returner—Darren Sproles—cash.

I don’t get it.  In fact, I hope the Chargers learn their lesson by losing to the Jets in the playoffs again next season…if they can even get there!

P.S.—The Jets are going to the Super Bowl and will set every defensive record you can think of next season.

Jets–Super Bowl Lock

Chargers—Pretender in the middle of a serious mindf***

Colts re-sign Brackett

Photo from: Chip Bruce's WordPress

Bringing Gary Brackett back to the Colts looks nice on paper.  The Colts need defense, but they ALREADY had Brackett.

This is a smokescreen designed to lull us into thinking they are improving their defense.  They didn’t improve—they stayed the same!  Freeney’s hurt and they’re trying to deflect attention.

I get it, but the offense has GOT to be pissed.  How long can Peyton Manning—the ultimate “company-line guy”—say, “We’ll win games while you suck on defense.”?

How long before this entire offense is over it?  I see a mutiny coming on.  Someone on this team is going to explode with anger because they know the team isn’t improving.

Some of these guys know Peyton will eventually retire.  Then what?

Desperate Contender (but only because of Peyton and the offense)

Eagles Re-sign Weaver at Fullback

Why do you sign a fullback to a record contract after you just cut Brian Westbrook?  I don’t know.  Did I mention that the Eagles are thinking of moving Donovan McNabb?  Does THAT make sense?  Nope.

Philly is about to go “Atlanta Falcons” when they had to purge the team of the “Run and Shoot”.  This won’t be pretty, and will probably result in the “Night Court” being reinstated under the stadium.

Pretender in need of some brains

Saints Cut Grant

Charles Grant: Photo from: The Insider

The Saints cut Charles Grant and saved $4 million.  Good for them.  They’ll say it’s to make room for a big-time free agent.  That’s just stupid.

Why would you save $4 million in cutting Charles Grant and keep Reggie Bush for $8 million?  *Hold your hands up and make the “scales” with me*

A kick-returner who had ONE good game OR a D Lineman who helped resurrect your pathetic franchise?

The Saints chose wrong.

Guys on that defense are probably not too happy either.  The Saints may have made the right football decision, but they made the wrong emotional decision.

Contender (but this move is ill-advised from a morale perspective)

So…

Photo from: tvgasm.com

Some of these teams think they can just sign and cut people all “willy-nilly” and that simply is not the case.  Some greater thought needs to go into these moves.

Actually, I’d use the term “soul-searching”.  I know the NFL is a business, but you can’t just mess with people’s emotions and expect fans to NOT react.

Also, you can’t expect players to stand silent.  Sometimes teams create turmoil in their offseason locker rooms without the first thought.

A.J. Smith shipped Cromartie—to Smith, a malcontent—to the Jets for nothing.  You don’t think the guys on the Chargers might be a little pissed?

Didn’t you think some of these guys had strong emotional connections to Cromartie?  You couldn’t work things out with him?  Even the Panthers were stupid to cut Jake Delhomme for this very reason.

I know I wanted Delhomme gone, but they made this team think he was sticking around when they threw all that money at him.  Now he’s gone.  I can’t say it enough.  That’s a hard pill to swallow.

Football players may be rich.  Some of them may even be over-privileged jerks, but they do have feelings.  Teams start messing with those feelings and we’ve got issues people.

It stings.  It just really stings sometimes…

Tiger Woods had his little “confession” today, and now I want some real answers.  Tiger made a “blah” statement, and he didn’t take any questions.  “Tiger, if I may be so bold…”

Would You Like To Clarify…

…why you chose to hold this press conference in the middle of the Accenture Match Play?  Are still mad at Accenture for dropping you?

I can understand being a little peeved–even hurt–but you’re stepping on the toes of every golfer in the tournament by dropping into the middle of THEIR event.

If you were playing the Accenture that would be one thing, but you’re “out of it” right now.  Ernie Els said you were a selfish bastard.  Ok, he didn’t call you a bastard, but that would have been appropriate.  You can’t rain on everyone’s parade because you feel like it.

Do you think the rules fluctuate?  Can you simply do one thing here and another thing there because you’re Tiger Woods?  That’s pretty selfish and pathetic.

I think Tiger and Roger Goodell would get along.

Roger Goodell changes the rules every 5 seconds.  When Dante Stallworth was reinstated he had to wait a while before getting signed.  It was like the Commissioner told everyone to wait just to make him suffer.

When Michael Vick was reinstated everyone on earth was allowed to bid for him and the Eagles snatched him up quick.

When Pacman Jones had never been convicted of anything he got suspended.  Leonard Little killed somebody with his car and he never got suspended.    You get the idea.

Tiger and the NFL think they make up the rules.

Can You Explain…

I...am...Tiger...Woods...2.0.1.0

…why you showed almost no emotion during your press conference?  I would have thought that you might break out of your “robotic press darling” shell and acted like a real man.  Show us how you feel.

You didn’t do that so we have to assume you feel nothing or you just don’t get it.  The only discernible emotion came when he was blaming the media for reporting that Elin may have beat his ass.

So, Tiger only feels emotion when he wants us to know how right he is and how wrong we are?  Cute.

The NFL is no different.  When the Bills are down the league chastises their fans for not supporting the team enough.  After the accusation they threaten to let the team move to Toronto.  On top of that they make the Bills play some games in Toronto just to make sure the fans “get it”.

Tiger and the NFL only care when they feel they’ve been wronged or they’re losing money.  How nice.

Can You Tell Me…

…something I want to hear?  When I was reminded that Tiger’s press conference was today I tweeted:

“if #tigerwoods says anything other than that he’s playing the #masters i don’t effing care”

I have no idea when Tiger will ever tell us anything of substance ever again.  Unless he’s playing a major I just don’t care.

When the NFL makes a big announcement it’s to tell us that the Bucs and Raiders are playing in London.  WHO CARES!?

If you’re making a big splash I want to hear that the Pro Bowl is being played after the Super Bowl next year.  The fans would actually like that because they might actually be able to afford to travel to the game.  I’m just saying…

One More Thing Mr. Woods…

…can you tell me if the Commissioner spoke out of turn?  I know the Commissioner doesn’t speak for you, but could you comment on why he told everyone you were going back to rehab?

Tiger I know that you are committing yourself to fixing your family, but don’t need to know you’re in “sex rehab”.  Seriously!?  This sounds like a bad turn on “Celebreality” on VH1.

Moreover, if you told Tim Finchem, did he have to vomit that information on us?  You actually sound more grotesque than before.  It’s kinda creepy.  Not everything needs to be known.  That was an “over-share” Tiger.

The NFL does the same thing.  Think about it.  They “over-share” on everything.

They require reporting on EVERY injury and publish a report every week.  This actually crosses the line of things I don’t care about.

When I’m watching the ticker on the 4-letter network I expect “breaking news” to be a trade, retirement, catastrophic injury, or suspension.  Nope, some dude I’ve never heard of pulled his groin.  UGH!

We don’t need to know every detail of everything.  It’s like you’re forcing us to be voyeuristic.  Some of us just don’t roll that way!

How do we deal with over-indulged athletes and sports leagues?  Laugh.  No…really…laughter is the best medicine.  These people don’t live in the real world, but at least it’s good comedy.

Sorry Tiger.  I’m chuckling inside because you’re so full of yourself.  You make me laugh.  What can I say?

The NFL Draft is a couple months away, but after the Super Bowl everyone gets into “Draft Mode”.  This “Draft Mode” leads teams to cut players, open up cap space, and start making their “needs” known.

I could sit here and do a complete “Mock Draft”, but some teams require little discussion, and others “just plain suck”.  However, there are 5 MAJOR needs that I think should be addressed.  Those needs are to follow.

True, all 32 teams will be mentioned, but only 5 things MUST get done in April for the “uncapped” 2010 season to be any fun.

Things are already getting fun because the Dolphins cut Joey Porter, but had to put him back on the roster.  The Falcons re-signed Brian Finneran.  Brett Favre is still in limbo, and the Bengals auditioned Pacman Jones.

Can we say “stupid, stupid, and stupider”?  I hope we see a little “bitchassness” from some teams, but too much might be a little overwhelming.

Let’s do this in draft order as if it were April 22^nd.

With the first selection in the 2010 NFL Draft the:

1.  St. Louis Rams select:

A New Quarterback.  The Rams seem to have given up on the Marc Bulger experiment and I say, “FINALLY”!  I don’t really care if they take Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy, or Tim Tebow—they just NEED a QB.

Personally, they could select me and that would make the season more fun.  Why, because I’d be starting from “Day #1”.  When the Rams put a rookie QB on the field behind an offensive line filled with high draft choices it’s gonna get ugly.

Whichever QB they take will be dead by the end of the season, and in 4 years will be David Carr 2.0.  I can’t wait for the fallout!

Detroit Lions select:  Who cares?  They’re the Lions and they’ll blow it.  Can we rename them “The Clippers” and get it over with?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers select:  It doesn’t matter.  They suckered us with that phony Super Bowl win against the joke-worthy Raiders.  Crawl back into your hole already.

2.  Washington Redskins select:

An offensive lineman who can anchor Mike Shanahan’s new offense.  No more “Cracker Jack” crap.  He should take a 10-12-year lineman that he can build a zone-blocking line around.  He does that and Bill Clinton could run for 1000 yards.

Kansas City Chiefs select:  Who cares?  They royally suck.

Seattle Seahawks select:  I used to think this should be Tim Tebow, but he clearly can’t take a snap from center or pass.  So, they could do anything and it won’t matter.  If Pete Carroll has total control he’ll have to wait a whole year to use it.

Cleveland Browns select:  They need a new Quarterback but they won’t admit it.  This franchise is so pathetic.

Oakland Raiders select:  Someone they don’t need, who can’t play, and isn’t proven.  He’ll also make too much money and suck the life out of the “Raider Nation”.

Buffalo Bills select:  Some guy Chan Gailey will be overly loyal to until said player gets Chan fired.

3.  Jacksonville Jaguars select:

Everyone wants them to take Tim Tebow, but if they take Tebow he’d better be NOT a Quarterback.  If the Jags select Tebow and sell tickets I’m fine with that.

However, if they select him and try to replace David Garrard with Tebow I’ll be laughing because we’ve already seen that Tebow can’t throw and can’t take a snap.

You can say that Drew Brees doesn’t take many snaps under Center, but he can throw.  Everyone keeps forgetting that!

Denver Broncos select:  It doesn’t matter.  They’ll make it work.  Joshie had a good first season and only good things can come in the future.

Miami Dolphins select:  Hopefully a Linebacker to replace Joey Porter after they figure out how to get rid of him.

San Francisco 49ers select:  Somebody to keep Alex Smith upright?

Seattle Seahawks select:  I suppose they could take Tebow here and play it off like, “Oh, well that was our OTHER 1^st rounder.  We can screw that one up and it’s ok.”

New York Giants select:  Someone to keep Eli Manning upright…please!

Tennessee Titans select:  A new running-mate for Kyle Vanden Bosch.  For all that is holy; that poor man is lonely up front!

San Francisco 49ers select:  A bruising safety would be nice: Perhaps Major Wright for his sheer “ballhogness”.

4. The Smart Kids

Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Houston, Cincinnati, New England, Green Bay, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Arizona, Dallas, New York Jets, Indianapolis, and New Orleans select:  Somebody who will pay dividends.

I think it’s clear that each of these teams have good management and will make a smart choice.  If someone in this group made a bad choice I think I might cry.

5.  I only left out two teams

The San Diego Chargers and Minnesota Vikings select:  The future.  These two teams select the future or they burn.  It’s that simple.

LDT is finished in San Diego and Darren Sproles does more special teams than he should.  They find a new Running Back or they perish even more painfully than they did this season.

The Vikings need to decide who their future at Quarterback is.  Forget Brett Favre for a minute.  Are Sage Rosenfels and Tavarus Jackson really your future?  Really?

Honestly, look at QB’s that fall this low and take someone whom you can mold into “the future”.  You might lose a year of productivity, but you’ll gain 10 years of success on the backend.

It only takes one false move for either one of these teams to find themselves on the “outside looking in”, and fast.

In The End

Someone will walk away a winner, but everyone will say they got what they wanted.  That’s the funniest thing in sports.  Watching guys act happy when you know they’re disappointed.

For my money the “pick of the day” is the Jags at #10.  If they take Tebow they set their franchise back AT LEAST 5 years.  Tim Tebow seems like a nice kid, but we all know he can’t hack it.

If those broadcasters in Jacksonville think David Garrard sucks, just wait until they get a whiff of someone who can’t take a snap.

Well, well, I had a wonderful time live-blogging the BCS National Championship Game on Twitter (yes, I have a Twitter account : genxxlgeneral) and I just had some major revelations during the game that not only have implications in college football but I think these revelations have MAJOR implications for the NFL Wildcard round this weekend.  There’s a lot that we can say about the teams playing this weekend, but what happened in between Texas and Alabama speaks volumes about what CAN happen between the Eagles & Cowboys, Cardinals & Packers, Bengals & Jets, and the Patriots & Ravens.  Let’s talk first about the National Title Game (because it was really good.)

Not the Fairy Tale Matchup We Were Looking For:

The BCS National Title Game was not the fairy tale matchup we were looking for between Colt McCoy and the dude who snuck up and took the Heisman from him, Mark Ingram.  Colt McCoy played a nice game and inched the Horns to a 6-0 lead.  (To be fair, it should have been 14-0, but the Bama defense was just too much and [as I suspected] Texas couldn’t run the ball to save their lives.)

Well, in the middle of Texas not really being able to punch it in Nick Saban made an idiotic call to fake a punt on 4th Down deep in their own end which solicited this Twitter update:

i cannot say nick saban is an idiot but that was idiotic

Then McCoy took the most meaningless-looking hit I’ve ever seen and he had to take himself out of the game in the 1st Quarter.  I still cannot figure out for the life of me what happened to him, but whatever happened it really hurt him because he didn’t come back.  I think my Twitter feed says it best.  Right after McCoy got hurt:

if mccoy is truly hurt texas is screwed but i think he’s sandbagging

mack brown just saw his best chance at 6 get flushed down the toilet

and

bama has butterfingers but texas cannot run to save their lives

When McCoy left the game the air left Texas’ tires and they showed no signs of getting it back.  I think Texas looked around and said “This cannot be happening to us now.  Not now” and I’m certainly didn’t believe that Texas would have any fire in them at all when True Freshman QB Garrett Gilbert came into the game and got thrown into the fire in, of all games, the National Championship Game.  Gilbert looked absolutely horrible in the 1st half and he even handed a shovel-pass to Alabama right at the end of the half to put the Tide up 24-6.  When Gilbert started sitting in a collapsing pocket every down without being able to read the defense so that he could hold the ball too long I was getting very concerned about how out of control the game would get.  Then Mark Ingram busted a nice run and I thought he was hitting his stride.  Once again, my Twitter feed says it all:

1. my wife says the bama defense thinks garrett gilbert is a gnat (he couldn’t have looked worse getting thrown to the ground trying to tackle the guy he JUST gave the ball to)
2. ole two name just screwed the pooch (he handed the ball to Bama)
3. son you go to school for free you got to catch that (inexplicably, Malcolm Williams can’t catch)
4. goodnight texas (I thought they were already dead)
5. texas needs a bionic qb (I thought they were going to have to go to their 3rd-stringer)
6. mark ingram…….hello!!! (Ingram finally busts a good run)
7. like my dad says “you gotta get rid of the ball son” (Gilbert must like getting hit and throwing the ball away)

Yep, I was pretty hard on Texas and not because I picked them to lose, but because they were playing so badly.  They looked just awful.  My favorite is my Dad’s saying “You gotta get rid of the ball, son.”  That’s something I’ve been hearing since I was 5 (since I can remember really) and it rings true today just like it did in 1983.  Gilbert was completely shocked to be in the game and he just couldn’t pull himself together.  (I did get tired of hearing Kirk Herbstreit talk about how the game was going too fast for Gilbert, but he was right.)  All of that “patheticness” culminated in the idiotic shovel-pass that resulted in a Bama TD right at the end of the first half.

The Second Half Changed Everything:

At halftime my wife started talking about Garrett Gilbert because she felt so bad for him after that disgusting shovel-pass at the end of the first half.  He looked so dejected and depressed after that play that my wife became his biggest fan.  She didn’t care who won the game but she just wanted him to do something right (which I can understand.)  Then, because she was VERY tired, she started talking about football like she knew what she was talking about and she said the following (once again, from my Twitter feed):

my wife thinks ole garrett will grow into it…

She said that jokingly because she just was being silly, but then she fell asleep and I watched the rest of the game and I don’t think she had any idea how prophetic she was.

About halfway through the 3rd Quarter Gilbert figured out how to read the Bama defense and he learned how to work with Jordan Shipley such that he started completing some possession routes to Shipley and started getting rid of the ball instead of holding it all day.  Then, out of nowhere, he hits Jordan Shipley on a LONG Touchdown pass in which he threw the ball where only Shipley could have caught it.  Not only that but he hit Shipley in-stride and gave the Horns an easy score.  When Gilbert threw that ball he looked like Peyton Manning as if he were 8 feet tall and he was throwing downhill.  It was amazing!  At some point ole Garrett really did “grow into it” (on national television in the biggest game of his life.)

He didn’t win the game but he showed us what Texas has to work with for the next 3 years.  You’re fooling yourself if you think Texas isn’t STACKED for the future.  This kid holds the Texas High School record for passing yards (over 12,000) and he learned how to be “the man” in front of the whole world in a game that he had no chance at winning.  He even scared Bama fans into thinking they might actually end up losing.  Here’s a portion of a status update from a friend of mine who went to Bama:

(Name is deleted to protect the innocent) Is sooooo happy Bama won….. HOWEVER….. When Texas scored and went for 2….. I collapsed behind my boyfriend on the couch

If you think this girl wasn’t scared out of her mind you are dead wrong.  I am ALL OVER the Garrett Gilbert bandwagon because he did something that I didn’t even think Colt McCoy could do…make the Alabama Nation sweat.  Garrett Gilbert had his “coming out party” and even though it was in a loss we should all shake his hand and say “Good job!”

Read after the jump to see what this has to do with the NFL playoffs…

Garrett Gilbert came into his own in an impossible situation and came out looking pretty good in the end then certainly another Quarterback from Texas can come into his own in an impossible situation.  Who is this Quarterback?  Tony Romo!

Tony Romo has kicked the Cowboys “sucking in December habit” this season and now he’s got a chance to do what Garrett Gilbert did last night.  Tony Romo is in an impossible situation.  He’s got the QB job that is most scrutinized in all of football and he plays for the craziest owner in all of football.  Can any of you imagine going to work everyday with EVERY eye in your industry on you and your boss is Jerry Jones?  I can’t and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.  So, yes, he is a rich athlete, but he is in an impossible situation and he has had very public missteps in playoffs past, but now he’s righting the ship and has a chance to stand the ship straight up against the Eagles this weekend.

Tony Romo takes his Cowboys team into this weekend’s Wildcard game hot, at home, and believing that they can win.  They are rematching the Eagles whom they pummeled last weekend and I don’t see any way that the Cowboys are going to slow down (and the Eagles cannot slow down the ‘Boys themselves.)  Romo is coming into his own in an impossible situation, but he has a distinct advantage that Garrett Gilbert did not…he’s played before.  This isn’t a newer/faster game for Romo.  He’s been doing this for a few years now and he’s in a groove that he may not get out of.  If anything happens to the Cowboys these entire playoffs it will have to be the defense betraying their offense (and I don’t see that happening with Demarcus Ware on the D-Line.)  Plus, I’ve hung my hat on the whole “you can’t beat a team 3 times in one season thing” and gotten burned so I’m over that.  Ah, let’s just call it.

DAL – 35   PHI – 13

Joe Flacco takes his Baltimore Ravens to Foxboro for a playoff matchup against the Patriots and he too sits in an impossible situation.  He plays in the same division as Ben Roethlisberger, has the task of making his offense as sexy as the Ravens defense, and has already had a disappointing showing in the playoffs (last year in the AFC Title Game.)  Joe Flacco has a lot to prove because he’s playing Tom Brady’s Patriots and no matter what happens Flacco is screwed.  If he loses then everyone will say “Well, you see, Joe just couldn’t run his offense like Tom runs the Patriots” and if he wins everyone will say “Well, there’s something wrong with Tom Brady so the Ravens got the right team at the right time.”

What do I think Joe Flacco WILL do this weekend?  I think Joe Flacco is going to bring his Ravens offense up to Foxboro and watch as Tom Brady yells at Randy Moss and Bill Belichick on the sideline.  The Patriots haven’t been themselves all season and we all know it.  I’ve compared them to a serial killer’s family on this very column and I’m not taking any of that back.  The Patriots are dysfunctional in that they are frustrated by losing and that losing has exposed how abrasive Belichick is.  I can still remember Tom Brady shouting at Belichick at the beginning of the season “What the f*** do you want from me!?” on the bench.  You could read his lips plain as day and things have only gotten worse.

Joe Flacco is in the perfect situation to build on last year AND defeat a behemoth like the Patriots.  Without Wes Welker the Patriots will have to listen to Randy Moss’ insipid whining about not getting the ball and Tom Brady will have more than a few words for his coach who he clearly has issues with.

BAL – 27   NE – 17

Jets @ Bengals:

I wish I could say the same glowing things about Mark Sanchez (even though I think he will be a great player) because he’s up against a team on a mission.  Marvin Lewis has to have his Bengals club super-focused because they took such a beating against the Jets last week.  I know that the Jets put a major beatdown on the Bengals in the last week of the season, but that doesn’t mean that they can repeat it.  This isn’t NEARLY the same as trying to beat a tem 3 times in one season.  When you’re trying to beat someone “thrice” you’re playing a division opponent and you know those teams so well that it is highly conceivable that you can have their “number” and really get on a roll against them.  When the team is outside your division and you have to rematch it’s not the best thing in the world for you.

Look at the Patriots and the Giants in the Super Bowl.  The Patriots has already beaten the Giants in the last game of that season to finish 16-0 and then they had to play them AGAIN in the Super Bowl only to lose and finish 18-1.  The same paradigm is true here.  The Bengals were already in and they clearly had no reason to go “all in” against the Jets.  The Giants knew they were the #5 seed in 2007 so they didn’t mind losing to the Patriots.  The second time around everybody isn’t so nice.

If you combine Carson Palmer with Chad Johnson and Cedric Benson you’ve got a powerful offense.  Take into account the extra focus and the fact that the Jets are missing Kris Jenkins then I don’t see how the Bengals will let this one get away.  You could say that there are equal amounts of weapons on the field (Thomas Jones, Braylon Edwards and Mark Sanchez for the Jets) and I admit that that’s partially true, but even so you would have to boil down the game to coaching.  Who are you taking?  Rex Ryan?  A guy who’s daddy never won a playoff game in Philly or Marvin Lewis (the guy who resurrected the Bengals.)  I’m taking Lewis.

CIN – 24   NYJ – 14

Green Bay @ Arizona:

Arizona was off when they took a whooping against the Packers and now they have to do this thing all over again.  This game goes against my better judgment (a.k.a. – my “non-divisional opponent rule”) which I have stated as “You can beat someone three times because they’re in your division, but two times outside your division is not so certain.”

Arizona, by all rights, should come back and have an amazing game in which Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald play catch for 4 Quarters, but as much as I can say that there’s Aaron Rodgers and Donald Driver on the other side.  When Aaron Rodgers is on he looks like Joe Montana (I know I’ve said that before, but I really believe it) and Donald Driver is no push-over.

Who am I to pick?

As much as I want to say that Arizona is going to make a comeback I just don’t think that they can do that when Green Bay is fielding Charles Woodson, B.J. Raji, A.J. Hawk, Aaron Kampman, and all the other non-household names on that defense.  I’ve been harping on how good this defense is for a few weeks and I would be a fool to stop now.  Both teams will score, but Arizona won’t be able to score ENOUGH.  Sorry Cards…

GB – 38   ARI – 24

As always, love me or hate me at genxxlgeneral@gmail.com.  I enjoy your comments and feedback or you can follow me on Twitter @genxxlgeneral.

Peace…

In throwing this idea out to one of my superiors here at genxxl.com I said “And I’ve got this great idea for a column on players playing within themselves” and his response was simply “LMAO”.  Honestly, I didn’t really that sounded as bad as it did when it wasn’t being said by a professional athlete so I just want to ask you to hold your laughter as I honestly (and seriously) try to delve into my explanation for this oft used phrase.  {I’m hoping that we don’t run into a situation like in “The Usual Suspects” where all 5 men are in the police line-up and they can’t stop laughing at each other.  You see, originally, that wasn’t in the script.  During the filming they just couldn’t stop laughing and Brian Singer can be found in the extra interviews for the DVD version of the movie talking about how he was fuming off-camera and thinking “These guys are f***ing up my damn movie!”  Please don’t eff up my damn column by laughing before you’re done reading…I promise I have a good point.

You can hear this one in halftime interviews and postgame press conferences.  The reporter always says something like “What does your team need to do to improve on (fill in the blank)?” and the player ALWAYS says something like “Well, (fill in he reporter’s name), we just need to keep working hard, play within ourselves, and stick to the plan.”  You know, they’re giving the Phil-Jackson-non-answer-answer every time and we just accept it without even thinking about those 3 little words right in the middle of the “non-answer-answer”.

Play within ourselves.

(Suspend your laughter please…I know it sounds bad when you can’t watch it in an interview.)

Pro athletes throw this one out there all the time and we just dismiss it because we either:

a)  Don’t know exactly what they mean and don’t care
b)  Think we know what they mean and just assume it means “We need to stop sucking”
or
c)  Don’t’ pay attention to what the athletes and coaches are saying because we assume they’re giving us the “non-answer-answer” and automatically write it off

I’ve done all of these things in all the years I’ve closely followed sports and I think I’ve finally figured out what this one means.  When athletes and coaches say they need to “play within themselves what they really mean is this:

Sports are just games and we all too often reminded that they are just games by tragedy (like the recent passing of Chris Henry) and then we get right back into the “Winning isn’t everything it’s the only thing” mode that Vince Lombardi is so famous for espousing.  Well, games are supposed to be fun, and these players honestly want to have fun (well, except for someone like Stephon Marbury, but that’s different.)  So, “playing within yourself” means:  We’re going to have fun, not look ahead and live in the moment all game long.

Some franchises have had great success doing just that (granted this is easier when you’re winning) but just look at some good examples of teams playing within themselves.

The 1981-88 San Francisco 49ers:  This team won 4 Super Bowls in very short order and played in the NFC Title Game more times than that.  They routinely plowed over the competition and scored insane amounts of points at will.  They beat up teams like there was no tomorrow, but there was something they started doing in Bill Walsh’s new “West Coast Offense” that started a trend that still lives on today.  They scripted their first 15 plays of every game regardless of the situation.  They ran those 15 plays in order no matter what happened.  Now that’s playing within yourself if you asked me.  If you’re running 15 plays in order no matter what happens you better be determined to have fun and not look ahead because if you don’t your mind will go immediately to all the bad things that can happen to you if even one play doesn’t work.  There’s no looking ahead, there’s no “What happens if this defense does “so and so”, and definitely no “Oh no, how is this going to work?”  You just do it.  They did it and won 4 Super Bowls (and took that same premise to a 5th title with Steve Young under Center and it made both him and Joe Montana (along with Jerry Rice and a whole bunch of linemen) into Hall of Famers.

The 1996-2000 Yankees:  As much as I dislike the Yankees I have to give credit where credit is due.  This team played their brand of baseball with total disregard for their opponents on their way to 4 titles in 5 years.  They cultivated a style of play that took them to the playoffs over and over and supplied Yankees like Derek Jeter with early success that can’t be matched.  How can you say the Yankees were doing anything BUT having fun?  It has to be fun to know you’ve got it in the bag because everyone’s afraid of you and you’re just going out and playing your game everyday.  Very good team those were.

The 1999 St. Louis Rams:  This one is obvious.  Kurt Warner slung the ball all over the field all season and they really didn’t care what defense they were up against because they had already decided that they wanted to just outscore their opponents.  You don’t call yourself “The Greatest Show on Turf” unless you’re having FUN and not caring about anything but living in the moment.

Showtime:  The Lakers of the 1980’s won 5 Championships under Magic, Kareem, Worthy, Green and Cooper and (much like the aforementioned ’99 Rams) you don’t call yourself “Showtime” unless you’re having the time of your life.  In the 80s they went to The Finals 8 time.  Yes, I said EIGHT TIMES!  (And we thought the Pistons were cool when they went to the East Finals 5 times in a row.  Yeah, not really.  If you’re having fun, playing your game no matter what your opponent shows you, and living in the moment you go the NBA Finals 8 times in one decade…that’s just what happens.

So, you see “playing within yourself” isn’t just about the “philosophy” of playing within yourself but it’s a higher calling of success.  Think about it now.  When you hear someone from the Raiders or the Browns or the Chiefs or the Clippers or the Warriors say they need to play “within themselves” they’re talking about something they can’t achieve.  Is a championship in the remote future of any of those teams?  Nope.  However, that is what “playing within yourself” brings.  Now, teams that are contenders can play within themselves all day long because on some level they are capable of that or they wouldn’t be contenders in the first place.

Look at the Tennessee Titans.  They started the season playing outside themselves and went a nasty 0-6.  Right after that they went on a tear and were very close to making the playoffs until a hurtful loss against the Chargers on Christmas Day.  Somewhere in there when Chris Johnson said they could go 10-6 and make the playoffs they put Vince Young back in as their starting QB and they starting playing their game without regard for the other team.  They started to “play within themselves” but they just couldn’t sustain it.  They knew their calling but they couldn’t keep it up.

You could say that the Saints and Colts have been playing “within themselves” all season because they’ve done their “we’ll outscore you no matter what” game all season long.  Then the Colts started resting starters and gave up a game to the Jets because that’s their game (I still can’t believe I bought into the undefeated hype.)  The Colts rest people late in the season.  The Saints score thousands of points every game…that’s just what they do.  Nobody’s going to stop them from doing that.

This brings up an interesting question:  Who has the advantage then?  A team that just plays their game or the team that copies the “blueprint” to beat each one of their opponents every week?

I say the team that “plays their game…within themselves” has the advantage.  Look at the teams I mentioned above.  15 Championships between them.  We could add the Bulls of the 90’s to this list, the Lakers of the 2000’s and the Spurs of the 2000’s and you’ve got (just in the NBA) 14 Championships belonging to 3 teams in an 18 year period.  Yeah…playing within yourself works.

Well, let’s see if some teams can play within themselves long enough to get into the playoffs….the picks right after the jump.

Indy @ Buffalo:

It’ll be cold in Buffalo but the Bills have nothing to play for and the Colts are clearly resting for the playoffs.  This is our last chance this season to see if Turrull will get angry enough to blow his top before his season ends.  He’s already got a thousand catches and that’s probably enough for him.  Even with 2nd teamers in the game I just don’t see how the Colts could lose because the Bills are just so bad right now (really they’re in disarray which is making them bad and it’s a shame because I like it when the Bills are good.)

IND – 20   BUF – 3

Jacksonville @ Cleveland:

Because of the resurgence (that I still think impacts Eric Mangini’s job security negatively) that the Browns are having and the fact that the Jags are basically out of the playoff picture I’m going to take the Browns here.  Jack Del Rio had a good thing going, but losing their last game and pushing themselves to 7-8 showed me why the Jacksonville media doesn’t trust David Garrard.  They’ve leaned on him too much and they need to re-orient their offense in a way that features Maurice Jones-Drew more heavily and tasks David Garrard with managing the game and not winning it.

Jerome Harrison is writing himself a nice check right now and I don’t think he’ll stop.  It doesn’t matter who signs him because he’s going to be very productive in this league (and hopefully the Browns get better or he goes to a better team.)

The Jags could make the playoffs if I were picking them to win this game, but the shot is pretty long.  They would have to win and then 3 of these (Baltimore, Jets, Houston and Denver) would all have to lose.  That’s pretty thin (Then again, in “Lethal Weapon” they thought Dixie being involved in Amanda Huntsecker’s murder was thin and then Dixie’s house blew up, but I don’t foresee any exploding houses this Sunday.)

CLE – 27   JAC – 13

Chicago @ Detroit:

Here’s two teams that have little to nothing going for them.  Detroit is sans Matthew Stafford and Chicago is still playing Jay Cutler and hoping he’ll stop losing games for them by throwing 500 interceptions a game.  The good news for Detroit is they are looking up from their “defeated” season of 2008 and they definitely have all the tools on offense if they can just get Stafford some protection bolster their defense.

Chicago’s defense is slowly dying and we can see it in the decreased productivity and injury-prone nature of guys like Tommie Harris and Brian Urlacher.  At one time this was the most feared defense in the NFL and quite reminiscent of the Bears defenses of the 80’s but they’ve become a shell of themselves and when they took Jay Cutler they basically said they were trying to make a shift from defense-focus to offense-focus and that change in focus doesn’t work for this franchise.  (We’re seeing it kind of work for the Steelers, but I don’t think it can last forever) and the same can be said here.  The Bears need to run the ball and stop the run.  Right now they can do neither and that’s just a shame.

DET – 13   CHI – 6

San Francisco @ St. Louis:

St. Louis, with one win, is well on their way to doing what I’ve been hoping they would do all season (something I TOTALLY got right) and that is rebuilding their team by first moving Marc Bulger out and drafting a stud to fix their offense.  In much the same way that the Bears and Steelers run and stop the run the Rams are a team that slings the ball around and they need a Colt McCoy for that.  I know no one wants to throw a game, but they won’t have to because they 49ers are going to play for pride.

Mike Singletary is not messing around with this 49ers team and he’s going to squeeze every last ounce of play out of this team until the very last second of the season in preparation for next season.  It’s really quite amazing that they’ve had as many ups and downs as they’ve had with a coach like Singletary, but I suppose that is to be expected.  They’re still learning how to deal with such a hard ass when Singletary himself has said that many of his players were pretty lazy.  Add to that the reformation of Alex Smith and you’ve got some really big potential for 2010.  I’m excited (though I wish we were going to the playoffs) I am excited for the future and perhaps the future can start this Sunday.

SF – 27   STL – 3

Pittsburgh @ Miami:

The Steelers can make the playoffs if they beat the Dolphins and 2 of these (Baltimore, Jets, and Houston) lose this coming Sunday.  The Dolphins make the playoffs if they beat the Steelers and the Ravens, Jets, Texans, Jags all lose.

Personally, I think the Steelers’ transformation into a passing team will last long enough for them to win this game.  The Dolphins took a loss they shouldn’t have last week and I just don’t think they have the gas to finish this season off right.  They have lot of the right stuff down in South Beach, but it’s just not ready.  Ricky Williams looks like he could run until he’s 40, Chad Henne could be the answer at Quarterback, Ted Ginn Jr. can catch and return kicks like a monster, and their defense is learning.  I just don’t see it happening right now.

A 4000 yard passer, 1000 yard rusher and two 1000 yard receivers is enough (combined with James Harrison and the Steeler defense) is enough for a Steeler win.  Both the Steelers and the Dolphins are playing for next season at the same time, but that makes this game all the more interesting.

PIT – 34   MIA – 27

Giants @ Minnesota:

The Giants are out of it after closing the season in disappointing fashion.  The Vikings can be #1 or #2 in the NFC.  If they win against the Giants AND New Orleans loses to Carolina then they’re the #1 seed.  If that doesn’t work out then they’ll be the #2 in the NFC.  Here’s the question:  Are the Giants playing for pride or are they just done AND is Brett Favre over his little tiff with Brad Childress where Brad Childress conceded control of the franchise to Favre.  (Didn’t you see that an undisclosed former Vikings player said that Favre runs that organization anyways?)

The Vikings just have more to play for and I don’t think Favre is fading as much as his ego is getting in the way, but even his gigantic ego is going to mess this one up.  Right now all the Giants have is Eli Manning to Mario Manningham followed by Brandon Jacobs running up the middle.  Their secondary is like Swiss cheese and you can bet that Brett Favre will take advantage of it.

MIN – 35   NYG – 13

Atlanta @ Tampa:

The Bucs stunned the Saints this past Sunday in a way that I still cannot fully describe.  Because I was visiting my wife’s side of the family I wasn’t near an NFL package and the local game in Ohio was the Bengals then I only saw that they Saints lost to the Bucs.  Upon telling both my brothers-in-law and my Father-in-law they all responded the same way “Huh?”  It was as if I was playing a joke because the Saints lost to a pretty good Cowboys team and that was ok but there was no way in the world that they would lose to the Bucs so “You’re kidding, right?”  Nope.  Not kidding.

Now, Atlanta actually needs this win MORE than the Saints needed their win from last Sunday.  If the Falcons can finish 9-7 then they will have wrapped up the stat that only I care about…their first set of back-to-back winning seasons in franchise history.  They MUST have this because everyone thought this was a foregone conclusion at the beginning of the season when everyone thought the only offense in the league that would be better than the Falcons was the Saints.  With dreams of the playoffs gone the Falcons need SOMETHING and this is their something to build next season on.  Plus, if the fans in Atlanta have to wait another two seasons to get back-to-back winning season there might be riots in the streets down here because this will be a bigger letdown to the fans than any of the Braves’ failing…I can guarantee you that.

ATL – 27   TB – 17

New England @ Houston:

Here’s another in a long line of games that has playoff implications.  The Patriots might jostle back and forth with the Bengals between the 3rd and 4th seed in the AFC, but they essentially have everything wrapped up and I don’t think that this team is going to bring all their guns blazing.  I still think they’re stinging from the 2007 Super Bowl and they don’t want to go into the playoffs cold, but they don’t want to be too hot either.  They’ll play it safe.

Houston HAS to win if they want the rest of their playoff scenario to play out for them.  They have to beat the Patriots and 2 of the following teams has to lose (Baltimore, Jets and Denver.)

With Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson and a pretty nice defense they can make this thing happen.  I know Randy Moss had a couple good games to come back from his “quit game” after he got sent home from practice, but I think he was putting on a show because he can just turn the switch on and off at will.  He’s waiting for the playoffs because he is still “sans ring” and I know that drives him nuts.  Once again, he’s still stinging from the 2007 Super Bowl and a guy like Randy Moss will never REALLY get over that loss.  He’s packing it up for the playoffs and that will make him a little easier to defend.

HOU – 35   NE – 28 (A lot of those points will come from the heavy use of Wes Welker who is a shorter, whiter, faster, smarter, better teammate version of Moss.)

Philly @ Dallas:

These two teams are playing for the NFC East, and that’s Door #1…the winner of this game wins the NFC East.  Now, if Philly wins they also clinch the #3 seed in the NFC.  If Dallas wins AND Arizona loses then Dallas is the #3 seed in the NFC.

Let’s look at what’s going on here.  I watched the end of the Redskins “quitfest” against Dallas and Dallas looked pretty nice (even though the Redskins are really bad) and I’m thinking that we might be over the whole “The Cowboys suck in December thing”.  Tony Romo looked good, Wade Phillips didn’t look like a deer in the headlights, and the Cowboys defense made some sick plays (I mean, it was like they weren’t even being blocked…well they might not have been, but you get the idea.)

Philly is coming into this game hot as well.  They’ve got everything to play for and they are the team that “came out of nowhere” and lots of people (including me) are wondering where they came from and if I can get the number of the truck they just ran me over with.

Well, if you take two hot teams with hot defenses, hot QB’s and put them in a steel cage and let them fight it out for the toughest division in the NFL what does the game come down to?

Brian Westbrook.  He’s been cleared to play but not a world-beater anymore and he’s just so beat up that if I gave you the choice between Marion Barber and Brian Westbrook I think most of us would take Marion Barber.

I’m leaving this game up to the legs of Marion Barber to slowly wear down the Eagles defense and win the Cowboys the NFC East.  I’ve already said he was a beast and I’m not taking that one back.

DAL – 24   PHI – 14

Kansas City @ Denver:

KC needs some serious rethought around their entire organization and that starts at the top with Scott Pioli.  I posited earlier this season that just about every coach in Bill Belichick’s coaching tree is an embarrassment to him and Pioli isn’t making things any easier.  He took Matt Cassel off the Patriots’ hands and now Cassel isn’t producing for the Chefs.  Todd Haley just had too much of a job to do this season to even consider the fact that his defense is pretty bad too.  I’m not sure at what point the Chefs begin to fix their team but I AM willing to concede that an offense can be fashioned for Matt Cassel that will work as long as he has protection.  I say the draft a lineman high (Defensive or Offensive, it doesn’t matter.)  I bet they could take just about everything they have on offense and do something with it.  Dwayne Bowe to catch the ball (he could easily be a 1000 yard receiver), they take a late 1st day running back, let Tim Castille block for him/run in short scores, and they’re set.  Losing Tony Gonzalez was NOT the end of the world for the Chiefs, but they acted like it was and their offense hasn’t performed all year.  If they get out of the mindset that they need him to survive then they will play much better next year.

With this game upcoming I don’t see any way that the Chefs defense can stop Kyle Orton from picking them apart and throwing the ball in Brandon Marshall’s direction at least 15 times, and who’s going to stop him from catching it?  Donald Washington, Mike Richardson, Ricky Price, Maurice Leggett, Brandon Flowers or Brandon Carr?  No way.  Denver’s going to pick this KC defense apart.

Denver’s road to playoff glory is a little more complicated than most teams because they were already in and then they lost last week and made the whole thing more complicated by not sewing up a playoff spot in Week 16.  If the Broncos beat the Chefs and 2 of 3 lose (Baltimore, Pittsburgh, and the Jets) lose then they’re in OR they beat the Chefs, Baltimore, Pittsburgh and Houston win OR they lose to the Chefs and Pittsburgh loses and 3 of 4 lose (Baltimore, Houston, Jacksonville, and Jets) OR they lose to the Chefs and Baltimore, Houston, Jacksonville, the Jets ALL lose.  (Yeah, that’s a lot.  Thank goodness I didn’t have to figure it out.  Thank the folks at FanHouse Newwire for this information…I know I do.)

DEN – 31   KC – 10

Baltimore @ Oakland:

Baltimore and Oakland are both in interesting positions.  Baltimore’s in if they beat the Raiders so they are the other pivotal game in this weekend’s set because if they lose they could set into motion a host of other things that will allow the playoff picture to go down to the wire.  If they win then things get less interesting.

Here’s the problem…the Raiders have played in spurts this season and that includes against good teams so I have to ask myself if I think the Raiders will have a spurt during the Baltimore game.  Here’s the thing:  I bet on the Ravens in the AFC Title Game last year and they lost, and I decided last weekend to not allow myself to get sucked in by them again and it worked because they lost and I was right.  I know Oakland is depleted but there’s something going on in Oakland.  I don’t know if Tom Cable has rallied the troops, or if they rallied themselves or what but they seem to have a purpose.  Look at it this way…Okaland’s 5-10.  Did anybody think they’d have 5 wins going into the final weekend of the season?  Especially after the whole “Tom Cable alledgedly tried to kill on his assistants and broke him jaw” incident?  I didn’t.  Heck, I almost thought about branding them the next “defeated” Lions before the Rams came in and sucked all the suck right out of the league and kept it for themselves.  Jamarcus Russell may be an expensive backup but he isn’t playing horribly and maybe the Raiders can sneak up on the Ravens.

I just have a hard time trusting the Ravens enough to think that they can win a game that they MUST have.

OAK – 21   BAL – 20

Green Bay @ Arizona:

This could be a shootout because when Aaron Rodgers is on he’s on and Kurt Warner is slowly building a hefty Hall of Fame resume.  For me this one comes down to defense and I don’t see any reason why the Green Bay defense won’t prevail.  I’ve listed all their names before:  Hawk, Raji, Kampman, Woodson, etc.  They are just too much and it’s not that the Cards won’t score, it’s just that they won’t score enough.  I know they’re “hot” and everything but if you want to see hot you should look it up in the dictionary and see the picture of a Packers helmet next to the definition.  Aaron Rodgers still has a steady target in Donald Driver and Ryan Grant is a monster out there.  That’s more than enough convincing for me.

GB – 34  ARI – 27

Washington @ San Diego:

Ok, I have no desire to actually believe in the Chargers (so I won’t) but they’re playing the Redskins and after witnessing their quitfest (which spurned the first entry in the General’s Sports Dictionary I would think that they are totally done.  I’m not even sure they’ll make it onto the field for this one…plus the Chargers want to go into the playoffs with a bang.

SD – 28 (because they’ll take their foot off the gas after the first half)   WAS – 0 (because they are pitiful)

Tennessee @ Seattle:

The Titans are out of the playoff hunt after that tough loss they took to the Chargers, but I think they’re playing for pride this time around.  They want to make sure that this season was all about turning things around and for them that means finishing 8-8.  If they finish at .500 after starting 0-6 that is a momentous acheivement and one that is noteworthy.

The Seahwaks are in disarray and I don’t know that Jim Mora is the problem but the early word is that the Seahawks may be looking to make a change and I don’t really that’s very fair to Mora.  A good comparison would be when Mike Vick broke his leg and Dan Reeves got fired because he was missing the best player on the team.  In Mora’s case the best player on the team is Matt Hasselbeck and he’s a timebomb waiting to retire because he’s too beat up to continue.

If I had to choose someone here it would be the Titans for both team’s own good.  The Titans need the
“pick me up” and the Seahawks need a higher draft pick to pick a lineman on either side of the ball (and I know Walter Jones plays for Seattle but Hasselbeck needs more protection than that.)

TEN – 31   SEA – 14
Cincinnati @ Jets:

Here’s the final part of the scenario.  If the Jets win they’re in.  If the Bengals win AND the Patriots lose then the Bengals take the #3 seed in the AFC.  If the Jets lose then they could also contribute to the endless number of possibilities in the AFC playoff situation.

The Jets have Mark Sanchez and Rex Ryan.  The Bengals are fired up over Chris Henry’s death, they are coached by Marvin Lewis who said something to the effect of “Enjoy this win and clinching the AFC North, but get over it because now we have another championship on our minds…the AFC.”  Well, if that isn’t dogged determination I don’t know what is.  I think this might play right into my hands here.  The Bengals are going to play their game and to hell with the Jets.

The Jets will play it tight but I don’t think they can beat such an inspired team as the Bengals.  Have you seen the kind of player Chad Johnson has been since Chris Henry’s death.  He’s a man on a mission.  He’s making catches that we all knew he could make but I think he was just too lazy or ego-ridden to care before.  NOW he’s on top of it.  If this game comes down to the wire Chad Johnson will catch the game-winner…let it be written (oh, it just was )

CIN – 28   NYJ – 27

According to my picks I have the Steelers, Texans and Broncos in.  Now, we must apply tiebreakers:

In case you didn’t know them, when all three teams are in different divisions you check:

Head to Head:  The Steelers beat the Broncos in the Regular Season.  Neither one played Houston so there’s no head to head sweep.

The Broncos are 6-5 in conference so they’re in because the Texans and Steelers are both 5-6 in conference.

If you take the common game thread and flesh that one out the Steelers have a better record in common games and they would make the playoffs (a miracle if you asked me!)

That means the AFC (for me) is:

Indy

New England

Cincinnati

San Diego

Denver

and

Pittsburgh

(I could be totally wrong, but we’ll see.)

As always…love me or hate me at genxxlgeneral@gmail.com or by commenting right here on genxxl.com

Tune in next time for a look at more college bowls and how the national championship chase should shake out.

The NFL provides us with enough ups and downs that we can call it the “ultimate reality television” but I don’t think for a second that I could have been so up on one thing, hen down on it, and right back “up” on it again in the span of a few weeks.  For example:  the idea of the Ravens, Steelers and Bengals all making the playoffs from the AFC North was a reasonable (yet crazy) idea a few weeks ago.  After I made such a bold statement the Steelers continued a long losing streak (in losing to the Browns) and I thought my theory was done for.  Now two weeks later those same Steelers (whose coach’s 8-year old thought he made a bad move) have beaten the Packers with a miracle final drive and had a solid win against the Ravens this Sunday.  I can’t say that I understand the tiebreakers and I know that the Steelers have to pray for lots of losses from teams like the Jets, Texans and Ravens in order to get into the playoffs.  The mere notion of the Steelers making the playoffs after they starting hemorrhaging W’s a few weeks ago is almost surreal because they had seemingly thrown away their season and so many pundits were wondering if Mike Tomlin had lost this team that won the Super Bowl a season ago.

All in all that’s a pretty funny way to describe a team that has a 4000 yard passer, two 1000 yard receivers and a 1000 yard rusher in the same season for the first time in its rich history.

I can hear the catcalls already “What about ‘joy’ Mr. Man?  Huh?  What about the ‘joy’ that was going to take the Colts to 16-0.  Where’s that joy now that they’ve dropped a game to the Jets and the best they can do is 15-1?  Huh!?”  All I can say to that is:  If you though the Colts were going to lose and you didn’t give in to the hype then you were right…I was wrong.  I bought in (even after I said they were smart enough to drop a game so they wouldn’t do it in the playoffs)  and was prepared to ride them to the 19-0 season that would have left me laughing at the Patriots if 2007.  (However, I can take solace in the fact that these Colts could go 18-1.  Yes, the same 18-1 that the Patriots did in 2007, but this 18-1 would result in a championship that those Patriots could not close the deal on.)

Oh, the joy thing.  Well, where’s the joy?  Just watch their press conferences today.  They’re still upbeat:  no grunting, heavy sighs or groan and moans.  They’re disappointed (don’t get me wrong) but they aren’t going to take that out on us during their press time.  They aren’t playing for the camera.  If you wanted a good comparison I think we could make one to the 2004 Red Sox who said they were just a bunch of idiots on the way to a World Series title.  These Colts know that the Patriots are pretty cold and that has won them 3 Super Bowls, but these Colts might just be dumb enough to grin in the face of trouble and power through.  (Although I feel sort of silly calling a team led by a guy who audibles every time he comes to the line [sometimes more than once] an idiot, but what can I do?  The comparison works.)  This joy won’t take them to 19-0, but I still believe it can win them a ring.

Denver and Philly tangled in a game where the Eagles had a chance to get a stranglehold on the NFC East and perhaps inch a little closer to catching the Vikings or the Saints and stealing away with a 1st round bye in the playoffs.  I know it sounds crazy because just a couple weeks ago we were all wishing for an “undefeated Super Bowl” between the Saints and the Colts.  Even so, when the Saints lost last week to the Cowboys that was a solid win for the Boys and I assumed (as did most) that the Saints probably wouldn’t lose again since the Vikings were nipping at their heels(until the Vikings lost to the Bears in OT on MNF.)  (I really didn’t think the Saints would lose to the Bucs, but here we are.)   The Saints have shown how vulnerable they are and they have answered my own question “Did the Cowboys draw us a blueprint?” I think they did my dears.  Now, with the Saints 13-2 they could only tie the Vikings for the best record in the NFC and then it would go to tiebreakers, but if the lose and go to 11-4 (the same record as the Eagles) then we have a fight on for that other 1st round bye where the Eagles could potentially come out of nowhere and snatch it away from the Vikings.  Would you have guessed that a couple weeks ago?  I know I wouldn’t have!)

In a note that probably only interest me because I live in Atlanta the Falcons beat the tar out of the Bills 31-3 on Sunday and pushed themselves to 8-7.  One more win next week and they have their first set of consecutive winning seasons in franchise history.  (That stat still gets me every time!)

Cleveland beat Oakland in an effort to prove that Eric Mangini (I don’t know, I’m no feeling Doofgini right now) was completely derelict in his duties up until last weekend when he unleashed Jerome Harrison on the NFL and Mr. Harrison ran for 286 yards in one game.  If there was ever a way to seal your own fate by winning that would be it.  Sit the wrong skill-position player for most of the season, start him due to an injury, he breaks a team record held by Jim Brown, then you go out and kill the next week too.  That has “I was stupid the majority of the season” written all over it.  Sorry, Eric.  This is the NFL and they don’t call it the No Fun League for nothing.

Miami lost by a touchdown to Houston in what I would call a watershed game for the Texans.  Now the Texans are 8-7 with the Jets, Ravens and Broncos and they’re all vying for two playoff spots.  {The part that makes this most interesting is the current wildcard teams losing (Baltimore and Denver.)  Because both the Broncos and the Ravens lost they allowed ALL of the teams at 7-8 to still have a remote chance because losses by certain teams could cause an 8-8 team to make the playoffs.}  However, the “Straight No Chaser” of it is:  Jets win and they’re in and the Ravens win and they’re in.

I’m particularly proud of the Texans because I’ve been hard on them this season since they’ve been on an upward trend but they’ve never been able to finish the deal and make the playoffs.  Then with the talk of Gary Kubiak being on the “hot seat” and Mike Shanahan’s name being bandied about for Kubiak’s job I thought surely they’d fold up their tents again.  Alas!  The Houston Texans are in playoff contention with very good teams like the Dolphins (who they just beat), Ravens, Broncos and Steelers.  What’s more impressive is that the Texans held a 27-0 lead, were outscored 20-0 in the last 20 or so minutes of the game and held on for the win.  Texans teams of the past would have given up the final two scores to surrender a loss…but not today.  This might be a new day in Houston football.

This is one of those times I wish I could convey tone on a blog (maybe they’ll start letting me do podcasts?  That would be cool!)  Anyways, the Arizona Cardinals pounded the Rams today and I have to say “The Cards are getting hot at the right time!”  They’ve a near-lock Hall of Famer under Center, two Hall of Fame-caliber receivers and just enough of a run game to make the defense honest.  What more can you ask for (plus, Ken Whisenhunt’s danced this routine before.)  Would I be shocked if the Cards rolled through the NFC in the playoffs?  No.  Am I betting on it?  No.  The NFC’s a tough nut to crack this year.

As the strokes of the pen (or the keyboard) are made on this column the Cowboys are well on their way to beating the Redskins and clinching the final playoff spot in the NFC.  This would make “Les Six” in the NFC:  New Orleans, Minnesota, Arizona, Philly, Dallas, and Green Bay.  We have literally no idea what order they’ll be in, but we do know that pretty much ANY order is going to yield some very compelling football.  (On a side note:  Marion Barber is a beast.  He runs like a wrecking ball.  Those dreds, the long gate he has, the angry style in which he runs…it makes him a true “power back”.)

I’m note going to start kvetching (as Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth were just saying) about playoff matchups just yet, but I will say that I REALLY want to see Aaron Rodgers rematch Brett Favre in the playoffs.  Man that would be a good game!

{The Cowboys/Redskins game isn’t quite over yet and the Redskins are down 17-0.  They miss a 3rd down conversion and with about 6 minutes left they’re down 3 scores and you figure they need to go for it on 4th down, right?  Nope.  They punted the ball away.  I know they have little chance of winning the game, but you have to at least TRY.  They could have run down, scored, recovered and onside kick, scored again, rinsed and repeated and tied the game.  I know that sounds INSANE, but anything is possible.  Instead of dreaming they punted.  This has just brought to mind a new feature here on the column:  The General’s Sports Dictionary.} The first entry in the General’s Sports Dictionary is:

Coach-quit:  verb;  1.  Bobby Petrino leaves the Falcons after Week 13 and is singing “ooh Pig suey” that same night in Fayetteville.  2.  Jim Zorn, down 17-0 with 6 minutes left in the game punts on 4th down when he really had no choice but to go for it.

Check me after the jump for some New Year’s Day Bowl picks…

Capital One Bowl – Penn State and LSU pony up for a battle of two teams who had good season, but were standing behind better teams in their conferences.  LSU had Florida and Alabama’s shadow to stand in whilst the Nittany Lions were hard up to get past a depleted Ohio State squad.  Even though this isn’t the bowl Penn State was looking for you have to feel good for Joe Pa for getting his team to yet another New Year’s Day bowl and playing strong after the controversy that swirled around him a few years ago as his age came into question.

LSU’s Les Miles is one of the oddest coaches in college football because we’re always left to wonder if they win because of the coaching or in spite of the coaching.  Both teams have pretty nice offenses and strong defenses, but the game is only left up to a couple factors:

1.  Daryll Clark has a good game and Penn State is hard to beat.
2.  If LSU’s defense can produce turnovers like they did in 2008 they are nearly unstoppable.
3.  If Les Miles doesn’t make any stupid decisions that Tigers are always dangerous.

I’ll take the Nittany Lions because I don’t think Les Miles can help himself…

The Rose Bowl – Ohio State and Oregon tangle in my favorite bowl game every year…the Rose Bowl.  I love the Rose Bowl because it conjures images of players holding roses in their teeth after leading their teams to glory.  Vince Young played one of the best games in the history of college football and won Texas a national title in that very stadium.  The Rose Bowl signifies tradition, glory, elegance, all that is right and good in college football.

Ohio State is a sentimental favorite for me because my wife is from Ohio (so I’ve got an entire side of the family that is Buckeye-faithful) and Oregon is a fun pick because Chip Kelly is a great coach and he drug them from the abyss (the LeGarrette Blount punch game against Boise State) to a near loss at Oregon State for a chance to play in this very game.

The problem is that as much as I like the Buckeyes they are carrying an underperforming Quarterback who has yet to live up to even a fraction of his own hype.  Let’s not forget that Terrelle Pryor brought this on himself by having his own little press conference to announce where he was going to school like it was newsworthy.  (In essence, he’s getting every bit of criticism he deserves.  I know he’s a kid, but he’s a kid who’s going to school for free {who doesn’t want that for their kid} who wanted the spotlight and now that he’s got it he isn’t performing.)

There’s something about the scrappy nature of the Ducks that makes me want to pick them.  I’ve ridden the Buckeyes to shame in the past (especially that humiliating loss to Florida in 2006 when EVERYONE thought they were going to win their 2nd national title since 2002) and I just can’t bring myself to ignore their recent failings in bowl games.  You combine that with the intensity and “scrappiness” of Oregon under Chip Kelly and you’ve got the makings of an Oregon blowout.

The Allstate Sugar Bowl – Two lame duck teams in Florida and Cincinnati take the field in disappointment on both sides.  The Gators have a coach who’s going on indefinite leave and Cincinnati’s former coach Brian Kelly already ticked off every player on the team when he sprung the “I’m bouncing for Notre Dame” speech on them.  This is Tim Tebow’s final college game and it will be under Urban Meyer whose life Tebow has clearly changed.  (Meyer cried when describing Tebow’s impact on his life for Pete’s sake!)  Tim Tebow will be emotional, ready to end with a bang, and ready to prove to the NFL that he’s worthy.)

The Cincinnati players are ready to back up the talk they gave to the media after Brian Kelly broke them down with the Notre Dame news.  Mardy Gilyard was the most vocal when he basically told the press that the players made the plays and they were going to show Brian Kelly that they don’t need him.

Here you have a clash of the titans with a team ready to usher out one of their greatest players with a win and a team angry and ready to spit nails.  I still don’t think Tebow was “all there” during the SEC Title Game and I have no idea if he’ll be “there” on New Year’s Day, but I DO know that he has a lot to prove and he’s a fighter.  Disgruntled players (like the ones at Cincinnati) play well in spurts, but I don’t know if they can overcome such a good player as Tebow when they are playing purely on emotion (emotions they’ve had bottled up for about a month.)  I don’t think it’s wise to try to beat a team as good as Florida like that so I’ll have to take Florida because the spurts of emotion you get form Cincinnati will not be enough for a very good/well-seasoned/veteran team like the Gators.

Tim Tebow is a life-changer and though he did not deserve to be in New York for the Heisman ceremony he is STILL a great player and over-looking him is a bad deal.  Remember, the Crimson Tide had to stop HIM in order to win the SEC.  Nobody else, just Tebow.  That says a lot. and I’m not tangling with a dude like that, are you?

Tune in Thursday for the picks for the final week of the NFL Regular Season, a look at how the playoff races will shake out (yes, I figured out all the tiebreakers by myself) and what that means for the race to the Super Bowl…as always, love me or hate me at genxxlgeneral@gmail.com

Well, the NFL flew in and out like a lark and we’re left with a ton of clinched playoff spots, some confusion, and this weird feeling about the 14-0 Colts. Let’s start with the obvious…

The Colts are now 14-0 after outlasting the Jags on Thursday night. Unfortunately, most of the country didn’t see this game because it was on NFL Network and hardly anyone gets NFL Network as a part of their cable package so really this game is more like an enigma. (And though I think it’s nice to hear Rich Eisen reminisce about starting the NFL Network he basically works for Stalin so I’m not sure how positive you can be when you work for a dictator.) Since I’m lucky enough to get the NFL Network I’ll recap for you. Colts play bad, Jags jump out in front, Colts comeback again. Pretty simple stuff… However, it does raise for me one VERY big question.

Is it possible for the Colts to be “consistent” when they are playing consistently badly in the first 3 quarters of games? I mean, we talk about consistency all the time in Football and coaches are constantly harping on it in sideline interviews between halves, but the Colts are really consistent except that they are consistently winning, but not with consistent play. They know they can go to Peyton at the end of the game and get a late score to clinch a win, but they aren’t doing a whole lot else that is “consistent”.

So, can they make it to 16-0? Well, they close with the Jets and the Bills. The Jets were starting to look “sort of ok” until they decided they didn’t really want to win their game against the Falcons and they gave the game back to Falcons by allowing a late TD. Mark Sanchez IS a good player, but I don’t know if now is his time. Can he mount a comeback if he needs to against the Colts? Nope.

What about the Bills? I know it’s cold but I don’t think hell’s going to freeze over anytime soon so I’m not sure how the Bills would expect to beat the Colts either. Plus, Jim Caldwell has made it pretty clear that he’s going for it. Since he’s not EXACTLY like Tony Dungy then we have to assume that he means it. Well, if he means it and Peyton is leading this team then we can only assume that they will make their way back to the Super Bowl.

Since the AFC is kinda down this year we can also assume that that road to the Super Bowl will be relatively easy. But that brings me to another bone of contention…

The Chargers went and screwed up my picks by ONCE AGAIN not proving my point and just laying down for the Bengals like I thought they would. It’s quite annoying to know you’re right about a coach (Norv Turner) and have to keep waiting and waiting for your predictions on that coach to come true. I mean, when I got in the car after dinner with my parents and turned on the radio (we can get the Cincy sports station down here) to hear that the Bengals had narrowly lost I was HOT! Seriously, how long do I have to wait for the Chargers to crumble? Are we going to have to wait until the second week of the playoffs to see the “Norv Turner Thing” come true? I suppose that would prove my point more than anything because they have fought hard to get that first-round bye and then to throw it away with a bad loss to a wildcard round team would be pretty telling, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to wait until the AFC Title Game to get that kind of satisfaction and I don’t think it’ll be that satisfying because everyone on earth will be picking the Colts to nail the Chargers to the wall (and rightfully so.) So, what do I do?

Well, I’ve only got one more option before the playoffs. Next week the Chargers get the Titans. I think we’ve all learned not to pick against the Titans by now and I think it’s safe to say that the Chargers want nothing to do with them. (And by nothing I mean NOTHING!) So, can the Titans beat the Chargers and prove my point? I don’t see why not. Vince Young is just as good as Phillip Rivers and Chris Johnson is gunning for Eric Dickerson’s single-season rushing record. You don’t think that’s motivation enough for the Titans to put a wallop on the Chargers? I do.

Speaking of Chris Johnson, how quietly has he put together this REALLY good season? He’s got 301 rushes and 1730 yards already this season. I mean, how could this season get any better for him? He’s two more games to gain a TON of yards, but it is possible. Why?

The Titans close with the Chargers and Seahawks. The Chargers would allow the run if the Titans forced it down their throats and told them “You’re GOING to give Chris Johnson yardage today!” That’s something the Chargers can’t stop. Plus, the Chargers CAN be put on their heels with the kind of “out of nowhere” passing that Vince Young does. He always looks like he’s flicking the ball (which has got to be deceiving to opposing defenses) and you’re never sure what he’s going to do next. Basically, he’s Michael Vick but more accurate and more accomplished.

Then they get the Seahawks and if Johnson is even remotely close to Dickerson’s record you can bet the Titans will chew the clock with his running. Now, he’s got like 400 yards to go before he’s in Dickerson’s neighborhood, but we just saw Jerome Harrison run for 285 for the Browns of all teams, so it’s anything is possible. For my money, he get close, but not all the way (but the Titans will be damned if they don’t TRY to get him the record.)

What next?

Well, with the Titans winning again and getting to .500 they have joined a group of 6 teams that sit at 7-7 behind the Broncos and Ravens who are 8-6. Because the Broncos gave away a game to the Raiders you have to believe that every team who sits at 7-7 is “in it”. Now, HOW in it is a whole other story. Given their schedule I’d say the Titans can finish 9-7 and be in contention (especially since they get the Chargers and the Chargers KNOW they are #2 right now.)

The Steelers are in a skid and I don’t think they can be trusted right now. I mean, I trusted them to beat the Browns and they lost…then I assumed (rightfully so) that they would lose to a superior Packers club and they ended up winning. That does not = playoff success.

The Jags and Texans are the Jags and Texans. If the local crew in Jacksonville doesn’t trust the Jags then why should I? The Texans are nice, but they aren’t there yet (and Gary Kubiak is on the hot-seat.) That doesn’t = playoff success either.

The Jets get Indy and Cincy to finish the season. Now, I know I trusted to Bengals to beat the Chargers, but I think we’re all in agreement that the Chargers are a better team than the Jets. (Let’s face it, the Jets GAVE a game to the Falcons (who just aren’t that dangerous.)) Plus, they are going to have to play Indy when Indy is going for 15-0. Do you really think that the Colts are going to let Mark Sanchez and the “46” defense get in their way? (Let’s face it again…the “46” defense looked better when Buddy Ryan was running it…not Rex Ryan.)

The Dolphins get Houston and Pittsburgh to close. I know I can’t trust the Steelers, so that final game of the season might determine who gets in the playoffs and Houston is nice, but they aren’t as good (or as well-coached) as the Dolphins. I’m thinking that we’ll get down to the final weekend and the Titans and Dolphins will be fighting for that last spot with either the Ravens of the Broncos.

Why? Well, the Ravens and the Broncos have to play games too. It is conceivable that they could drop another game and we’ll be relying on tiebreakers and last-minute finishes in 2 weeks to determine who makes the playoffs in the AFC. I wasn’t thinking it would be this exciting when the Broncos, Colts, Ravens and Steelers got off to such good starts, but now we can see that the AFC has become the bastion of unpredictability that we always thought the NFC would be.

The NFC is altogether different…

Join me after the jump to find out why…

The NFC has 4 clinched teams already (Eagles, Saints, Vikings, Cardinals) and 3 teams with playoff hopes. The Cowboys and Packers are in the driver’s seat for the two wildcard slots in the NFC, but the Falcons somehow stole that game from the Jets yesterday and now they’re 9-7. If by some miracle the Cowboys and Packers drop their final 2 games and the Falcons win out then all 3 of those teams would be 9-7 and we’d be relying on tiebreakers (which will give the networks PLENTY to talk about, and even though the Falcons would still be OUT of the playoffs it gives us time to talk about all the “what-ifs” in their season.) I could sit here and pretend like I know what I’m talking about when it comes to the tiebreakers, but I’m not going there until it looks like that scenario might happen. Right now…it’s just a wild hare that might catch on.

They Played Some Basketball Too!

Now, I’m going to get into Basketball in-depth later on, but I wanted to include this one tidbit here because I couldn’t save it. (If you follow my twitter account, genxxlgeneral, then you know what I’m talking about.)

I’m watching the Cavs plays the Bucks and Shaq dishes out a hard foul where he basically just swiped at the Brandon Jennings’ head instead of the ball and Jennings landed right on his back. The funny part is that right after that they showed a stat for Ilgauskas and Shaq. When Shaq is on the floor the scoring differential is in the negative. When Ilgauskas is on the floor the differential is positive. It’s pretty simple if you asked me. Shaq has deteriorated to the point that a lanky-white-European who shoots too many 3′s is a better option than the great Shaquille O’Neal. WOW!

What does that mean for the Cavs? They have to go to their best option. Shaq has become an enforcer and not a scorer. He’s a back-up and not a first option. He’s a side-show and not the main-show. He’s a freak who side-swipes rookies (like Brandon Jennings) who are pwning him and not an inside threat that you just hand the ball to so he can work it out for 30-35 points a night. It’s a shame really, but all of that talk and all of the bravado is going for not in Cleveland. And how over it do you think LeBron is? VERY! The Hawks and the Magic have better winning percentages than the Cavs right now. Do you think for one second that an egomaniac like LeBron can even remotely handle that? Yeah, I don’t either. Only one of two things can come of this. Mike Brown figures out that Shaq is a bad option and he plays about 5 minutes a night or LeBron gets so pissed that Shaq is playing more than that that he can’t focus on his game and the Hawks and/or Magic overtake the Cavs in the East. Listen, a team comprised of old, old, and old (the Celtics) is already much better than the Cavs. What does that say about the (trying not to gag) “Great Shaquisition”? It says it doesn’t work. Trade him to a stupid team and put Ilgauskas back out there 35 minutes a night. Yes, to say I’m over Shaq is an understatement. He needs to hang it up before he embarrasses himself.

Next up..a complete shakedown on the NBA sans the Shaq-talk.

I know that’s a lot to ask for, but with 3 games left on everyone’s schedule we have a lot to talk about and I’ve definitely learned some lessons this season (and before the season is over…man I’m a fast learner!) I had a pretty bad week last week and I am in serious need of some redemption.  (Although I’m still 133-71.)

Plus, I’ve made a decision. Come playoff time I’m going to start picking games AND picking the spread. Why in the playoffs you ask? Well, in the playoffs, it’s do or die. There’s no moral victories, there’s no running up the score. As soon as you think you have the game in hand you shut down and get ready for next week. Period. No coach in his right mind is going to keep Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, or Drew Brees on the field so they can win a playoff game 52-0 when they were already going to win it 38-0. There’s no chance. That also means that the spread is KEY in the direction that many of those games go in. If you’ve got a team that is a 6 point underdog… in the playoffs…they take that as an insult. “How in the hell can you give them 6 points over us when we both GOT HERE?” (Since that IS the whole point of the regular season anyways. [Unless you’re the Browns, Lions Bucs or Rams…in which case the whole point of the regular season is getting the highest draft pick possible.]) If the line comes out for a playoff game featuring the Saints or the Colts and they DON’T cover…then you know something’s going on. Picking the spread between two good teams is easy…and it’s probably pretty true. So keep your eyes open when we hit playoff time because I can’t wait to get into all the speculation the spread brings to a game preview.

Ok…since there’s so much to get to…let’s do this!

Indy @ Jacksonville: Thursday Night

Ok, this one’s crucial in terms of the Colts unbeaten status and the Jags desired playoff status. They’re at 7-6 and tied with Baltimore, Miami, and the Jets for the 2nd wildcard spot in the conference. I’m not going to get into the specifics of the tiebreakers because I think most coaches in the NFL don’t understand all of the rules, but suffice it to say that Jacksonville NEEDS this win desperately. Why? Jacksonville gets to finish with Cleveland. That’s good for them because they have the Patriots the week before that and the Colts right now. If they can somehow break the Colts’ streak and then catch the Patriots off-guard all they have to do is wait for the Ravens, Jets, and Dolphins to stumble. Will that be difficult? Yes, because the Jags have the hardest closing schedule of any of the aforementioned playoff contenders.

On to the Colts… Do I think they can keep this up? Yes. Am I rooting for an undefeated Super Bowl between the Saints and Colts? Yes. Do I think this is a “trap” game for the Colts? Yes. If they have Jacksonville (in Jacksonville) and Jacksonville NEEDS a win and the Colts are very close to resting people because they have home field throughout the playoffs locked up then yeah, you might get some “looking ahead” coming from the Colts. No matter how good a leader Peyton Manning is there’s no accounting for letdowns on the team. Receivers drop balls all the time, people miss blocking assignments, people miss tackles, and return guys get tackled behind the 10 yard line and Peyton can’t fix all of that.

So that brings up the question: How influential IS Peyton Manning on this franchise? Well, I think that in the end he will go down as the greatest Colt of all time (yes, better than Johnny Unitas) and when he’s done this franchise will hit a MAJOR slump while they search for a suitable replacement (not Jim Sorgi, although I do like him.) Sooooo, since I’m saying that Peyton Manning will go down in lore as the greatest Colt then it stands to reason that he can have an affect on the whole team, right? Yes. In short, Peyton can go to anyone on this team and say “Get it together or die!” and the response from that player will be “You got it, man!” or “Yes Sir!” Do you really think Jim Caldwell is in control of this team? Nope, Peyton Manning is. Jim Caldwell is enjoying something I’d like to call the “George Seifert Effect”. George Seifert inherited one of the greatest teams of all time from Bill Walsh and won a Super Bowl with that team. Then he hit a dry patch until Steve Young became the Hall of Famer that he is. Jim Caldwell will do the same thing. He’ll win a title (at some point) with Peyton, hit a dry patch, replace Peyton with another Hall of Famer and win another title. You just wait and see. The “Seifert Effect” is… in effect!

IND – 42 JAC – 20

Dallas @ New Orleans: Saturday Night

Dallas took a bad loss to the Chargers and let the Eagles jump out in front of them in the NFC East. I could say that I’m surprised, but like I’ve said for a few weeks now, I’m just waiting for the Cowboys to stab me in the back. Well, since I didn’t get too close to Dallas to begin with they couldn’t actually reach ME to stab me in the back, but they’re taking pretty big swipes at their fans right now. A couple weeks ago everyone on the planet had written off the rest of the NFC East and crowned the Cowboys a contender. Now, they look like they’ll have to take a wildcard berth and play someone they don’t want in the first round of the playoffs (like the Cardinals.) This game with New Orleans doesn’t help because, unlike the Colts, the Saints HAVE to keep winning or they lose home field in the playoffs because the Vikings keep winning. As long as the Vikes keep winning the fire is squarely under the Saints’ rear end…if you know what I mean.

The Saints haven’t looked stellar in the past couple weeks and I have to wonder out loud if the season is starting to get to them. It’s hard to go undefeated and it’s even harder to be the new kids on the block AND have the hottest offense in the league AND be in the harder conference. I said a few weeks ago that Drew Brees looked like Kenny Stabler from “way back when”. Now, he’s starting to look a little worn down. I don’t know if he’s or he just gets that way at the end of the season (like, he gets more serious so the “happy go lucky” look fades away.) I’m not sure, but I know that if he plans on continuing to win he needs to pep it up a little bit. The good news is that they close with Tampa and Carolina. If they can’t win those games I don’t know what to say to that. If they can’t beat the Cowboys I don’t know what to say either. Demarcus Ware is hurt, the Cowboys are in a slide and Wade Phillips is their coach. Do I need to say more? (Oh, and Tony Romo’s December QB rating is something like 12.)

NO – 45 DAL – 21

Cleveland @ Kansas City: Sunday

Alright, I wrote off the Browns last week and they beat the Steelers. I wrote off the Chiefs and they lost. (I guess I learned my lesson.) This game is still crap vs. crap, but I have to be honest in my assessment of how bad these teams are.

Todd Haley in KC is a good coach and he has players on his team. Granted, Matt Cassel won’t be the world-beater they were looking for, but he IS serviceable and that should be enough if they get good pieces around him. They cut Larry Johnson loose because he had character issues and that was a good move because it kept him from infecting their locker room more and it made the fans happy. The Chefs have a couple wins this season and each one was earned rightfully.

Cleveland is looking for a “Football Czar” because their franchise is a total wreck. I could go back over my column from yesterday, but I don’t think it’s worth it. They have 3 players and a bunch of garbage. In essence, they need to start all over. There are TONS of players who would work in Cleveland if they would just return to their AFC Central roots and build a team that looks like the teams of old.

Now, the reason I missed on the Pittsburgh/Cleveland pick last week was because I didn’t realize that the Steelers’ malaise was THAT bad. I also didn’t realize that 3 good players on a team would constitute a win against the defending Super Bowl Champs. However, that doesn’t mean that they can just on winning games ad nauseum. The Chefs are a better team at their core and that means that the Browns already had their 1-time out of 10. Now it’s time for the other 9 times to catch up with them.

KC – 17 CLE – 9 (Phil Dawson rocks!)

Atlanta @ Jets

The Falcons have already GRAVELY endangered their shot at a 2 winning season in a row (something they’ve never had…it’s one of the weirdest stats in sports.) They’re 6-7 with 3 games to go and the only way they can have a winning season is to win out (too bad they aren’t the Titans, right?)

Matt Ryan has turf toe (which ended Jack Lambert’s career, and we KNOW how tough he was), Michael Turner has too many miles on him, Brian Finneran’s career is over, and the defense is a sieve. It’s bad down here in Atlanta.

The Jets, conversely, are in the playoff hunt in the AFC at 7-6. They are in that gigantic traffic jam of teams at 7-6, but they end here with the Falcons, Bengals and Colts. They DESPERATELY need this win if they want to get into the playoffs. Honestly, how many of us think they can beat the Bengals or the Colts? Anyone? Nobody? Just what I thought. So, they need this game MORE than the Falcons because the Falcons are out of the playoffs, snakebitten and not ready for that second consecutive winning season. The Jets have had consecutive winning seasons, won a Super bowl, have a healthier team (not healthy, just healthier) and a stronger coach. (Oh, and Braylon Edwards roaming around in the Falcons’ gosh-awful Secondary.) Need I say more?

Sorry Atlantans, but you’re going to have to wait til 2011 to see if the Falcons can put back-to-back winning seasons together.

NYJ – 24 ATL – 10

Miami @ Tennessee

Miami is in the traffic jam at 7-6 with the Jets and they also desperately need this win to stay in it. Since that traffic jam is all fighting for one playoff spot (since I think the Broncos can hold on to the other wildcard berth) then the Dolphins are playing for their lives every week. Tennessee is right behind the pack at 6-7. Now, I know I counted out the Falcons at 6-7 in the NFC, but the NFC is much stronger then the AFC so it stands to reason that some teams in the “traffic jam” could falter and if the Titans keep winning they could somehow sneak into the playoffs.

The Titans get to close with Miami, San Diego (a.k.a. – the team I don’t trust) and the Seahawks. Are you telling me they can’t win all of those games and some of these other teams won’t slip up? I’ll bet you anything that the Titans are going 9-7 and that somehow they can squeak into the playoffs. In order for them to do that they need to refer to the beginning of my column where they will need to pray and get a miracle, but they can do it.

I see no reason why the Titans would stop winning now. Granted, the Dolphins are good, Tony Sparano is good and Chad Henne is coming on strong, but would you bet against the Titans right now? I wouldn’t. In much the same way that I stopped picking the Skins I will NOT pick against the Titans until I can’t pick them anymore. It would be foolhardy to assume that they will lose when they’ve been playing as well as they have AND they have a shot at the playoffs. This one should be called the “Vince Young Factor”. If a team puts in a prized QB halfway through the season and starts winning the “Vince Young Factor” comes into play and you have no business picking against that team or that Quarterback. Period.

TEN – 30 MIA – 24

Houston @ St. Louis

In accordance with my plan for the Rams to fix their franchise I need to make clear that I will NOT waiver. They need to keep losing and get the 1st pick in April locked up so they can find the right QB and replace Mark Bulger. They already have a prized Lineman and now they need new blood getting the ball every offensive snap. Houston is a good little team that cannot make the playoffs, but they will certainly die trying. Just because they rely too much on Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson it doesn’t mean they suck…it only means they’re 1-dimensional. I can live with that. I think they know they can’t make the playoffs like this, but maybe, just maybe, if they tweak their offense a little they might have something going into next year. Plus, losing right now doesn’t segue very well INTO next year. Teams like this need momentum to take into next season where they can say “Look how strong we finished…let’s pick up where we left off.” The Rams have no need for momentum because they’re about to have to pull a Cleveland and blow the stadium and start from scratch. Good luck Rams….Good luck…

HOU – 35 STL – 3

Arizona @ Detroit

I know Arizona laid a MAJOR egg against the 49ers (and I spent a lot of time talking about it) but they have GOT to get it together against the Lions. First, it’s undignified to lose to Detroit as it is…even if you’re Cleveland, but it’s another thing to lose to Detroit when you have a good thing going, you just appeared in the Super Bowl, and other teams should be afraid of you. As always, I have the Gunther Cunningham Rule which does not allow me to pick the Lions, but I wouldn’t anyways. The Cardinals have Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald…that should be enough to get through this one. However, they close with St. Louis (a probable blowout) and Green Bay. That Green Bay game is going to be for playoff positioning because the Packers and Cards are both looking for SOMETHING to hold on to. Now, the Cards will win their division and get a home game out of that, but the Packers will be PRAYING that they can get a better seed out of a win against them, so the Cards need to be on their A-Game every week until the end of the season. The best way to do that is to get the kinks out against a really bad Detroit team. Somehow, I think they can manage…

ARI – 48 DET – 3

San Francisco @ Philly

Folks can tell me all day long how they think the 49ers are coming on strong, but I’m REALLY hesitant to brand them “up and comers” after the ups and down they’ve had this season. I’ve heard people say that Alex Smith looks 10,000 times better than he did earlier in his career, but I’m not buying it yet. I have expectations, but I’m not buying that all of the juice in the Bay Area should come from the offense. Frank Gore isn’t 100% and Michael Crabtree signed yesterday…how can I TRULY trust the offense? I can’t.

The defense, however, is VERY good and capable of big things. If they prep right for Michael Vick and keep Donovan CONTAINED then they won’t have a problem with the Eagles. If the 49ers give up one big play I think they’re just not mentally ready to recover from that. It’s a shame, but it’s true. Just let me enjoy the fact that we have the slimmest of chances, but I don’t see how this can work out well. I know I screwed up and picked against them with Arizona, but how will they pull off a miracle like that twice in a row? Yeah, I don’t know either.

PHI – 21 SF – 14

New England @ Buffalo

Here’s the deal…I don’t think the Bills can really DO anything with the Patriots, but let’s just talk a minute about how fractured the Patriots are.

Did anybody see all the drops Randy Moss had this past weekend? Let me give you a little background. Randy was late to a meeting this week and he got sent home along with 3 other guys. This was the beginning of the end for Randy. He saw an opportunity to shut down and he did. He started doing his “whiny pouting” thing again and it transferred into his performance on Sunday. He dropped balls that I could have caught (granted, I’m pretty quick and have good hands, but I’m not Randy Moss either.) He wasn’t even trying. Watch the film and tell me he even “cared” to try to catch any of those balls. (Oh, and when I say I could have caught those passes I DO mean that I could have run that route, gotten in front of the defender AND caught the ball…something Randy didn’t do.) He quit. Period. Will everyone stop trying to defend him already? He quit on the Vikings and they shipped him to Oakland and then he quit on the Raiders and that’s why the Patriots even have him to begin with…because he’s a quitter. If he wasn’t a quitter he’d probably still be in Minnesota, but he isn’t because he’s (you guessed it) a quitter.

How long will this last? I say until the end of the season. We’ve already got Tom Brady throwing the F-bomb at Bill Belichick and Adaleus Thomas running his mouth about being sent home so it isn’t much of a stretch to assume that Randy will continue to quit until the end of the season…is it? How wrong would I be to say that Randy gets traded this offseason because he’s quitting right now? I don’t think that’s a stretch either. You can’t tell me that this team is crumbling…because it is. Fortunately for them, they’re the Patriots, Bill Belichick is still their coach and they still have gobs and gobs of talent. That’s enough to beat the Bills, but beware Bostonites…this ship is about to run aground…and soon.

NE – 24 BUF – 14

Chicago @ Baltimore

Chicago has such a hard road to hoe just to GET THROUGH the rest of the season, and they’re just going to get pummeled in the NFC North by the Packers and Vikings. Jay Cutler is looking like “The Biggest Loser” (not the good kind) and he’s only got a “Coach on the hot seat” and a young receiver (Johnny Knox” to show for his year in Chicago.

He was a good “get” when the Bears traded Kyle Orton (a busted Heisman finalist) to the Broncos in a trade that looked like the Pau Gasol for Kwame Brown trade. I mean, Kyle Orton was the flaming pile of crap and Jay Cutler was the Knight in Shining Armor. Yeah, we got that one wrong! How do you get a flaming pile of crap that looks like a white knight on a white horse in shining silver armor? (I mean, how do you not smell it? How did I not smell it? I don’t get it…I said Cutler was a baby and all that, but I was content to hang on to the fact that he’s a Pro-Bowler. *slapping my forehead* Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!)

Baltimore NEEDS this game to get away from the Steelers and get out of the “jam” in the AFC for the final wildcard slot. I don’t see how the Bears can win this one and I can’t see how the Ravens will lose this one. It’s a double-whammy for Lovie Smith (who is close to getting fired anyways.)

BAL – 31 CHI – 10

Join me after the jump and I’ll pick the rest of this weekend’s games…

Oakland @ Denver

Another thing I learned is to not write-off the Raiders without first seeing who’s starting at Quarterback. When Bruce Gradkowski is in this team has a chance. (I didn’t say they’ll win (so don’t get it twisted) but I did say they have a chance.) BruGrad has made Jamarcus Russell into the most expensive backup in history (and we thought Billy Volek wanted a lot of money a few years ago) and now he’s showing that the way to go in the Raider Nation is with a Quarterback that you wouldn’t pick first to play on your team. Anybody remember Rich Gannon from their Super Bowl run? When my Dad told me Rich Gannon was starting for the Raiders I was like “Rich Gannon? You mean the career backup?” Yep, that guy. Well, BruGrad was unwanted in Tampa of all places so he ended up in Oakland and look at him now…pretty good eats for a dude with no pedigree who got cut by a pathetic team.  (This week BruGrad is out, but he proves my point.  Even with Charlie Frye in there the Raiders have a better chance to win than with Russell.)

Denver is sitting pretty in the 1st wildcard spot in the AFC and I don’t think they’ll mess it up. Even though they’re only one game ahead of the “jam” for the second wildcard spot they’ve shown that they can play well enough to lock up a playoff spot. They have a good QB, a pretty good running game and a very nice defense. Are they stellar? No. Are they going to win a playoff game? Probably not. But will they make it look interesting? Yes. The Raiders just can’t hang. As much as I want them to be better now is not the time. If they take their wins from this season and use that momentum to start next season they might have something, but something isn’t here yet.

DEN – 24 OAK – 17

Cincinnati @ San Diego

Ok, this is a battle of two teams that I want to like. A battle of two teams who SHOULD do well but I’m afraid to pick. I don’t trust the Chargers at all (I know, the Norv Turner thing) and I’m afraid that any minute the Bengals will become, well, the Bengals.

At the end of the day they’re about the same team and I can’t sit here and argue with my distrust of Norv Turner. Let’s call it a day and say that I have the “Norv Turner Rule” where I don’t pick teams coached by Norv Turner unless the team Norv is facing is pathetic. I’ll just leave it at that.

CIN – 31    SD – 30 (The one point spread accounts for bad decisions made by Norv Turner…not by the Bengals.)

Tampa @ Seattle

Ok, here’s another one that I find easy but I won’t just mail it in because I’ve learned my lesson. Tampa has Josh Freeman at QB and he’s currently the only rookie QB starting this year from the highly touted draft class we just had. He could be a nice and serviceable QB in Tampa (that’s what Brad Johnson was when they won the Super Bowl you know) and he could last a really long time…if he doesn’t die first.

Matt Hasselbeck is on his last leg, but he does have some weapons and Walter Jones on the O-Line. Let’s say Freeman puts in a good show and Hasselbeck is off (or gets breathed on the wrong way by a Tampa defender) then the Bucs MIGHT have a shot. However, I don’t think the Bucs defense can get to Hasselbeck because they’re still trying to live on the “Tampa 2” and all of that stuff that left with Monte Kiffin when he left for Knoxville. Because of their refusal to change defenses like they should have I have to pick against Tampa even though I think the better QB for the game might end up being Josh Freeman.

SEA – 17 TB – 14

Green Bay @ Pittsburgh

The Packers are fighting for playoff positioning and the Steelers threw their season away with a horrible loss to the Browns. Troy Polamalu is out. Big Ben is banged up. The running game is stodgy at best. Hines Ward has a beef with Big Ben that we can’t define. The Steelers are having a classic “bad year for a good team” and will no doubt rebound next year. Right now…they just aren’t that good. I put so much stock in them going to the playoffs with the Bengals and the Ravens that I totally looked past the fact that they were on a skid that they couldn’t stop. I had no idea they would keep losing and losing and losing for no apparent reason other than they are having a “bad year for a good team”. That’s all the explanation I’ve got.

Aaron Rodgers can look so good when he wants to and he’s brought this team to the playoffs on his back. Ryan Grant blowing through holes in opposing D-Lines is becoming a norm on highlight packages all over the place and Donald Driver is 57 and STILL a dynamic receiver in the NFL. (Did I mention they have this nasty/old-school defense that looks like it came out of 1966?) That defense alone is enough to stop a very down and slow Steeler offense. When Pittsburgh can’t run the ball they can’t do anything. It’s a shame, but everyone has a bad year and I guess this is Pittsburgh’s until they have another one in about 2018.

GB – 27 PIT – 9

Minnesota @ Carolina

Here’s the deal. Minnesota is a REALLY good team that features monsters all over the place (Brett Favre, Percy Harvin, AP, #17, and Jared Allen) and they have no place to go but on the opponent’s side to kill them. It’s like the Vikings are compressed air just waiting to explode all over someone. Every week we think they’ll just lie dormant and then they throttle someone with a burst of energy that we can hardly fathom.

Carolina has 1 good player…Julius Peppers. There are other nice ones like DeAngelo Williams and Steve Smith (not Jake Delhomme), but there is only 1 GOOD player and that is a Defensive Lineman. With no offense and the Vikings defense opposing them how do the Panthers expect to score? I have no idea either.

Besides, Minnesota has to keep winning to make sure they keep the heat on the Saints. Do you think that’s motivation enough? I do. (And for all the people who think Brett Favre is going to start doing “Brett Favre stuff” think again. He hasn’t really done anything this year. The best player on the field is AP and Brett Favre is kicking back and sipping a cocktail…he’ll be fine.)

MIN – 38 CAR – 12

Giants @ Washington

Alright, once again we’ve run into a game where I cannot justify picking the weaker team. However, I’ve learned to not just write people off without first giving them their due. Washington has a really rich D-Lineman (Haynesworth) with no partner, a young QB who’s changed offenses and coordinators more than I change socks, and a “cracker jack” offense as I have heard many former players call it. Plus, I said I wasn’t picking the Redskins under any circumstances and I can’t rightfully change my mind. How nuts would I be to pick a team with the traits I just described against a team fighting for a playoff spot with a Super Bowl Champion Quarterback and good pieces all over the field? I would basically have no right to pick against the Giants and I won’t. I said I wouldn’t pick the Skins and they have given me no reason to. Getting further in-depth will only put you to sleep (or make you hungry for Cracker Jacks.)

NYG – 27 WAS – 6

Enjoy your week of Football and hit me up at genxxlgeneral@gmail.com (I welcome comments, opinions, anything you’ve got to say…I’m all ears!  I totally need feedback!)

We’re all set with the BCS bowl line-up and now all we have to do is wait to see how these games will shake out (and if Brian Kelly is going to Notre Dame.)

Rose Bowl – Oregon vs. Ohio State: Well, Ohio State’s in the BCS for the 5th time in a row and it’s about time they played a good game in the BCS.  Oregon is probably really happy to be here after they almost threw away their chance at the Rose Bowl against Oregon State.  Even though it’s the Pac-10 and the Big 10 I think this game can be really exciting.  Besides the fact that Oregon has like 60 different uniform combinations I think they can really get after Ohio State and sling the ball around and show the boys from Ohio how it’s done.

Hooooowever, Terrell Pryor has yet another chance to show everyone why they wasted their time watching his “I’m a High School Kid and I Should Just Pick a School” press conference.  This kid spurned Michigan to go to Ohio State and he hasn’t produced the way everyone thought he would.  He was supposed to be a college-aged Mike Vick crossed with Joe Montana with the swagger of Broadway Joe and all the Buckeyes have to show for it right now is a (relatively) disappointing season and questions upon question about whether this kid should be getting anymore hype.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’s ever going to be anything special.  This isn’t one of those cases where a kid doesn’t play in college, but he’s got a “pro” arm and he takes off in the NFL.  If Terrell Pryor is supposed to be able to move like crazy AND have a great arm then Ohio State should be blowing out everyone they play…period.  there’s no other way to put it.  I can’t imagine a situation in which Pryor comes on and puts up 350 yards and runs for another 75 or 100.  He’s past that stage by now.  He needs to be solid and portray himself as solid so that we will at least think he’s pretty good, because right now I think everybody (including me) is jumping on the “let’s dump Terrell Pryor” bandwagon.

Fiesta Bowl – Boise State vs. TCU: This is the game everyone didn’t want to see.  No one wants to see two teams from non-BCS conferences play each other in a BCS bowl.  We want to see them play big-time programs to see how they would fair.  Heck, Boise State pulled the “Statue of Liberty” on Oklahoma a couple years ago (and I thought that play only worked in cartoons!) and since then all the big-wigs (who were pounding their stogies over whether Nebraska was going to beat Texas) have decided that it’s easier to make these two teams sit at the kid’s table at Thanksgiving dinner when they CLEARLY deserve to be at the grown-up table.  I smell fear.

To the game itself…I really hope that this is a Holiday Bowl in the making…where each team kind of forgets how to play defense and they just shoot it out.  I’d much rather see a 52-51 game than a 10-9 defensive stand-off.  Plus, if they light it up and the ratings are through the roof then perhaps this MIGHT pave the way for other teams from non-BCS conferences to squeak into the BCS in future…we can only hope.

Sugar Bowl – Cincinnati vs. Florida: The real question here is whether Brian Kelly will be the coach at Notre Dame by the time this game happens.  It’s the biggest letdown in history.  Florida was going for all-time status and Cincinnati was trying to crack the BCS code without success.  If Brian Kelly goes to ND then the Bearcats have no chance.  If he stays in Cincinnati then they can easily beat Florida and really put their stamp on College Football going into next season.

Orange Bowl – Iowa vs. Georgia Tech: Georgia Tech gets another chance to cap off a very good season…this time in Miami against the Hawkeyes.  Both of these teams run the ball like crazy and it will be a power game, but I don’t think for one second that Paul Johnson’s club is going to fall victim to the letdown they had last year in getting hammered by LSU in their bowl game.  If a blowout happens it’s going to be GT blowing out Iowa.  They’ll hold the ball for a year and Iowa will be wondering what happened at the end of the game.  To think anything else would be foolish when you see how angry Paul Johnson can get…I’m just saying…

Join me after the jump for my NFL picks….YAY!

I’m 121-67 and NOT happy about it.  Between Green Bay deciding to be other-worldly against Baltimore, the Falcons laying down against the Eagles, and the Steelers losing to the Raiders I had a bad weekend…let’s just leave it at that.

Pittsburgh @ Cleveland: Ok, on Thursday night I’m hoping that I can trust the Steelers enough to beat the Browns.  Is that asking too much?

PIT – 13   CLE – 3

New Orleans @ Atlanta: It doesn’t matter that this game is in Atlanta because the Falcons are in a tailspin.  I tweeted right after they lost on Sunday that they could kiss consecutive winning seasons goodbye and a chance at the playoffs too.  Now, they get the juggernaut of all juggernauts in the Saints at home.  With Matt Ryan iffy and Michael Turner not in his 2008 form how am I to expect that this team can score against the Saints defense (which is VERY good) when they couldn’t put anything up on the Iggles?

The Saints, on the other hand, have to keep winning or they lose homefield in the playoffs.  With that in mind what do you think Sean Payton is going to say to his team?  Something like “Get out there and kill them!”?  Yeah, you’re right…the Falcons are dead.

NO – 45   ATL – 6

Seattle @ Houston: These are two confusing teams.  The Seahawks took my beloved 49ers out of the playoff hunt on Sunday and the Texans were looking good earlier this season and now they just look listless.  How does one explain the demise of the Texans and the sudden rise of the Seahawks?  Coaching?  QB play?  I think it’s both.  Matt Hasselbeck was the reason Seattle wasn’t winning (because he wasn’t playing) but when he plays well it seems everyone in Seattle plays well (even the Janitor) whereas it seems in Houston like everyone expects Matt Schaub to pass to Andre Johnson 500 times a game and that’ll be that.  As we’ve seen that is not enough to beat teams like the Colts and the Titans.  With the Titans coming on strong and Vince Young looking like a leader we have to expect that Matt Schaub step up and get his WHOLE TEAM to play better.

Seattle needs to keep pushing because they only have so much time left before they are going to have to do this thing without Hasselbeck (because one man can only last so long) and then what do they do?  If he’s the driving force in Seattle (and I think he is) then what are they going to do after he HAS to retire…because it will come down to that eventually.  Then what?  Suck for a year and then draft a QB in the top 3 the next year like St. Louis is going to need to do?  Man I hope not.  It kinda feels wrong when the Seahawks aren’t any good…you know?  They can’t catch the Cardinals…but they can at least make it look like they can.

SEA – 27   HOU – 24

Buffalo @ KC: This is one of those that I usually hate because it’s bad against bad, but now that Buffalo has a new coach it seems like things are looking up in the “Land of no Sunlight”.  {Did you know about SAD?  Seasonal Affective Disorder?  Where people get…sad…depressed because they don’t get enough sunlight?  And we thought it was because of the 4 Super Bowl losses in a row.}

Buffalo is actually getting something done now.  I remember when Dick Jauron fired his Offensive Coordinator right before the season started and that Coordinator came out and said Jauron was an idiot.  Anybody else remember that?  Well, it appears that the OC was right because as soon as they got Jauron out of there the Bills starting playing like they belonged in the NFL.  We haven’t heard from T.O. at all this season because the Bills haven’t really done anything so maybe now that they are looking up a little we can get some entertainment from Turrull.

Kansas City is just pathetic.  I’m not sure if Todd Haley is just hoping for this season to be over so they can fix this thing for next year, but they have issues all over the place and it seems like they will never get out of their own way.  They’re 3-9 and rank 24th or lower in all the major offensive statistical categories.  Yikes!  (And I thought the Raiders sucked.)  They’ve got Matt Cassel out there (who was a bad pick-up to begin with) and he is hurt.  Do I know exactly what’s wrong with him?  No, I have no idea, but I do know that he has something wrong with him that is making him play even worse than he normally would be considering the situation.  How in the world can I justify picking the Chefs when they just seem like they can’t do anything.  (Frankly, I’m surprised they’ve won 3 games!) {You know what’s worse?  They rank 27th or lower in all the major defensive categories…yeah…that’s the Chefs.)

BUF – 28   KC – 10

Green Bay @ Chicago: This is one of those gritty NFC Central matchups from the good old days where they play in freezing weather, snow, and sleet and never complain.  Well, that was back when both teams were good at the same time (which was all the time.)  Nowadays it seems that one team or another is in a funk.  Chicago’s 5-7 after everyone thought they got the “Steal of the Century” when they picked up Jay Cutler from the Broncos for Kyle Orton.  Everyone on Earth said they got the good end of the deal, but now the Broncos are in playoff contention and the Bears are sucking with a better QB than they had. Rex Grossman took this team to the Super Bowl a couple years ago.  REX GROSSMAN!  You know, “eye-liner boy”?  Now they’ve upgraded and they’re getting trounced by the Packers and the Vikings in their own division.  It’s pathetic really.

The Packers decided on Monday Night that it was time to play well against the Ravens.  Right after I had posited that 3 teams from the AFC North could make the playoffs the Steelers lose to the Raiders and the Ravens lose to the Packers.  I’m not shocked that the Packers won, but the way in which they won was so indicative of why I had them in the middle of my “Hourglass Theory” to begin with.  You never know what you’re going to get with this team.  Aaron Rodgers looks like Joe Montana one week and Tony Eason the next.  He just needs to make up his mind.  If he decides that he wants to be good on a more permanent basis than he could easily become a Superstar in this league.  That’s the kind of potential he has…but sometimes he doesn’t show it.  With the Packers in the playoff hunt maybe Aaron can get in the playoffs and show what he’s made of.

GB – 31   CHI – 10

Jets @ Tampa Bay: The Jets disappointed me so greatly when they started losing for no reason and then I didn’t know what to think of them, well now I know.  They’re 6-6 and they’re under a rookie head coach and a rookie QB…of course they were going to be inconsistent!!!  (Stupid, stupid, stupid!)  I fell all in love with them and I was like “Mark Sanchez is the man!” and I totally forgot that at some point we’d see all the “rookieness” (because the seasons that Joe Flacco/John Harbaugh and Matt Ryan/Mike Smith had last year ARE complete anomalies.)  Well, the “rookieness” came out and the Jets sit at 6-6 in a very winnable division.  They’re tied with Miami and the Patriots are only 7-5 (the Mitchells are having a bad Thanksgiving dinner) so who’s to say that they can’t pick it up and get it together?  I’m not gonna say they can’t…not yet.

Tampa is just bad.  I’d feel bad for Raheem Morris, but he fired his Offensive Coordinator right before the season started so he pretty much brought this on himself.  He’s probably wishing he had Bruce Gradkowski right now because at least Gradkowski is doing something right in Oakland.  We could sit here all day and go over every single little problem that Tampa has, but at the end of the day they just flat stink and I have no inclination to pick them anytime soon.

NYJ – 17   TB – 0

Miami @ Jacksonville: Now this is a good one.  Miami is trying to stick with the Jets and Patriots in the AFC East and the Jags are trying to hold their “stiff arm” out to keep the Titans behind them so each team has alot to play for.

I talked last week about hearing the Jacksonville broadcast of their games and how the broadcast team was all over them about EVERYTHING.  Well, they need to stay on them because Miami is coming to town with a newly-confident Chad Henne.  They haven’t abandoned the “wildcat” but when Chad Henne throws the ball 52 times in one game you know that the “wildcat” got put on the back-burner.  Add that to Ricky Williams running the ball like he did when he won a Heisman at Texas and you HAVE to believe that the Dolphins are really dangerous.

The question then comes down to Jacksonville’s defense.  Here’s my problem:  Jack Del Rio is a Defensive guy.  His team bailed on him last season.  We’re getting late in this season.  If something goes it will be the defense first because he has his hands in that more than anything else.  How long before the Jacksonville defense checks out?  With only 4 games left to play they need to get on that or Jack might actually keep his team together (but I don’t buy it…there are leadership issues there and I think that’s what the broadcasters in Jacksonville are REALLY complaining about.)

MIA – 30   JAC – 14

Cincinnati @ Minnesota: Mwa hahahahahaha.  I love this one.  This time last year this would have been the “sigh game” to end all of them.  This year it’s the leader of the North divisions in both conferences.  How cool is that!?  Minnesota has to keep winning so they can keep the Saints on edge knowing that they will also have to keep winning.  Cincinnati cannot show any blood at all or the Steelers and Ravens will smell it from a mile away.  So what are we to do?

The way I see it the Vikes have playoff “positioning” issues and they also have to keep winning whereas the Bengals can afford a loss here or there because the chances of them getting caught by the Ravens and/or Steelers is pretty small.  I like the Cinderella story that is the Bengals, but I’m torn because I know how badly the Vikings need every game and how focused Brett Favre is right now.  Both defenses are good, both offenses are good, but the Vikings NEED it more…so I have to go with want.  When it gets this late in the season in a game as violent as football you have to go with animal instincts at the end of the day.

MIN – 45   CIN – 35

Detroit @ Baltimore: Baltimore just took a bad loss to the Packers when they really needed to pounce on the Steelers’ loss from Sunday to the Raiders and they crapped out.  Detroit just isn’t any good.  This is one of those where the Ravens get lucky because of the schedule and get the right team at the right time.  What can I say (I know what the Steelers are saying…”Those lucky bastards!”)

BAL – 28   DET – 7

Carolina @ New England: This one’s hard because the Panthers are coming on strong late in the season and the Patriots are having (by their standards) a pretty crappy year.  Carolina’s 5-7 and New England is 7-5.  From where I’m standing it doesn’t seem like there’s much difference between the two records.  The two teams are massively different though.  The Panthers CAN run the ball when they are “with it” whereas the Patriots have troubles running the ball (which is bad with Julius Peppers and all the other beastly threats on the Panthers defense.)  The Patriots can pass the ball, but more to Wes Welker in possession situations than to Randy Moss.  (This is the part where I say that we have seen the best of Randy Moss and it is all downhill from here.  For one thing he just isn’t the same.  Second, he’s still the lazy guy who walked off the field in Minnesota before the end of a game, and third he’s playing with Wes Welker who is the best possession receiver in football and if he keeps it up he’s going to the Hall as such.)

With Carolina becoming united and the Patriots looking divided (that’s why I like the comparison to the Mitchells) then I have no choice but to pick the more united team.  (Like I said, animal instincts mean alot this time of the season.)

CAR – 31   NE – 21

Denver @ Indy: I know I said the Colts would drop a game, but then they beat the Titans (who really needed that win) and now I’m starting to reconsider.  Jim Caldwell is a Tony Dungy disciple, but I think he’s a little different.  I saw Mike Ditka on the 4-letter network say that if someone isn’t trying all the way to the end of the season to be undefeated then “shame on them”.  You know what?  I think that resonates with someone like Jim Caldwell.  I think he’s a little harder-nosed than Tony Dungy and I’m starting to think they’re going for it.

Denver is coasting at this point in the season with a shot at the playoffs.  They’re 8-4 and if the season ended today then they’d be a wildcard.  Honestly, I’m interested to see whether they can catch the Chargers (who I still don’t buy…yeah, it’s the Norv Turner thing) and I bet they can do it.  Now the question is…will they help their cause by ending Indy’s undefeated run?

No.  In short, Josh McDaniels is firey and not entirely like his mentor Bill Belichick, but I think he’s smart and he’s trying to hit a home run at this point in the season when there’s still 4 games to go and he has a 2-game cushion on anyone who would jump up and challenge for a wildcard berth.  Because he’s sitting back a little and waiting for the game to come to him I think the Colts will just take and it’ll never get that far.  Now it’s a coaching decision.  (Kind of like betting on pre-season football…you bet on the teams whose coaches you KNOW want to win even if it’s a preseason game.)  Here, I KNOW (at least I think I do) that Jim Caldwell is going for it and Josh McDaniels is not.

IND – 38   DEN – 27

Washington @ Oakland: Oakland may have had some business beating the Steelers last week, but the Redskins had no business being in overtime against the Saints.  I think it speaks more to the nature of the game than any goodness the Redskins exhibited.   Oakland is coming on strong and what better way for them to keep it up than to play the Skins…yep…those lucky bastards!

OAK – 24   WAS – 9

St. Louis @ Tennessee: The Rams suck…the end.

Tennessee needs to keep winning so they can go 9-7 and try to jump into the playoffs.  It would basically kill this run they’re on if they lost to the pathetic Rams (who need to keep losing so they can rebuild anyways.)  Come on Vince…you can do this!

TEN – 31   STL – 3

San Diego @ Dallas: Two teams I don’t buy at all.  Mathis (the Cowboys) started to show his colors by losing to the Giants in a game he should have won.  (I’m just waiting for the Chargers to collapse by the way.)  So, I’m not sure who to go with.  Do I pick the team that I’m afraid to get killed by or the team that I just dislike?

I’ll take dislike thank you very much…(and LDT.  He was never the problem for me to begin with…just the Norv Turner thing.)

SD – 35   DAL – 28

Philly @ Giants: The Giants snuck up and beat the cowboys last weel, but can they honestly sneak up on teams in their own division two weeks in a row?  I don’t think so.  The Giants are ok, but they’ve figured out what to do with Mike Vick and that makes them dangerous.  The Giants have a traditional look in Eli Manning to Mario Manningham…that may not be enough.

PHI – 31   NYG – 21

Arizona @ San Francisco: Well, since my 49ers are out of the playoffs and the Cardinals have been in the playoffs (for me anyways) for quite a while then it makes sense to pick the Cards.  Kurt Warner’s the man…not Alex Smith (I’m sorry to say.)

ARI – 27   SF – 13

Tune in Friday (maybe Saturday..with the Christmas season heating up who knows…) for my thoughts on the week in sports as we grow closer to the end of the NFL season and into the heart of the NBA season…

Reflecting on the weekend that was in sports I’d have to say that I learned a few lessons about sports and I’m going to share them with you today…not because I think you don’t know them, but just in case you don’t know them (or at the very least so you can laugh at me for not knowing this sooner. Come on, I’ve got to be entertaining here!) The lessons were hard, sometimes painful, amusing, horrifying, and sobering all at the same time. It’s not every weekend in sports that you have everything blow up in your face all at once AND learn why you have the allegiances you have…I learned a lot about myself this weekend. Let me share:

The SEC Title Game was COMPLETELY outside the realm of “we’ve got this pinned down” like everyone thought they did and I LOVED it. I picked Bama because I thought that all the pundits who said “take Tebow out of the game and Bama wins” were right. However, I only picked on the possibility that they MIGHT be able to slow him down or something. I spent a lot of time this weekend talking about how 3 teams from the AFC North could make the playoffs…not because I am 100%-bet-my-life sure about it, but I am certain that the possibility exists.

So, the possibility of Tim Tebow being human was intriguing and I thought if anyone could make him look human it was Nick Saban. Let’s face it…Urban Meyer and Nick Saban are the two best coaches in college football: Followed closely by Chris Petersen, Gary Patterson and Brian Kelly. No one earth can argue that. There are other good coaches, but these are the best. Well, when you call Nick Saban the best you also have to realize that he is a Defensive guy and that means he can do just about anything with his defense to stop someone. Honestly, I thought maybe they’d just slow down Tebow and outright stop him, but stop him they did.

I learned, in no uncertain terms, that defense DOES win championships. That was the epitome of a defense stepping up and saying “If we stop this guy their offense stops and we win.” The Tide knew that with Deonte Thompson and Percy Harvin that Tebow wouldn’t have all the outs he used to have and that would give him problems all day. They were ready for the dive plays that Florida had to start running after Tebow’s concussion. They were ready for the quick outs and they adjusted at halftime to all the passes that Tebow was able to get off to Hernandez. In essence, they shut Florida down after they figured out what Florida was doing…that’s why all 13 points the Gators scored were scored in the 1^st half of that game.

I have to say that I was a little shocked by the 32-13 final score because I thought Florida had something left in the tank to make a comeback, but when Tebow threw that interception in the endzone I knew they were done. Mark Ingram had already broken a 66 yard run (prancing down the sideline to stay inbounds) and now this for the Gators? They just fell apart at the worst time. They had the “2007 Patriots we’ve won too many games in a row” thing hanging over their heads and the “Tim Tebow is a demi-god but will the Tide care?” thing hanging over their heads and it proved to be too much. The Bama saved the day by keeping the Bama offense on the field long enough to score 32 points. It’s that simple.

Another thing that I hope this game did was solidify that Tim Tebow will NOT win the Heisman this year. I’m still thinking he probably should’ve won it last year, because he was just that good last year, but this year he just hasn’t been the same. CBS got a good shot of him standing up after a tackle and he looked right into the camera and at that moment I tweeted “Look into Tebow’s eyes and tell me he’s 100% there.” He just didn’t look like he was all there which is a complete shame but he’s one of the best (but not the best) and not this year. If we’re looking for the best player in college football then we need to look to Toby Gerhart out at Stanford who probably won his team 3 or 4 games and Mark Ingram at Alabama. Ingram broke the run that sealed this SEC Title and he’s been solid all year. Gerhart won a few games for Stanford. If I had to pick one I’d go with Ingram because he was solid all year and now his club is on the cusp of a National Title (and he was better than Colt McCoy and Gerhart and Tebow.)

Speaking of being on the cusp of a National Title… the Longhorns almost lost to Nebraska (and I honestly think Colt McCoy let the clock run out and the NCAA gave Texas that one second as a gift. Did you see how upset Bo Pellini was? He should’ve been.

At any rate, Texas barely beat Nebraska (who Pellini has on the map, but not THAT on the map yet) and Bama just ran all over Florida. Do you mean to tell me that Texas can even put up a fight against Alabama? Honestly, if the Tide can come up with a way to stop a totally unpredictable QB like Tebow how in the world is a totally predictable QB like McCoy going to fair? Not very well I’m afraid. Unless there’s a catastrophic injury or arrest I’m picking it now. Bama – 30 UT – 13

You know what else I learned this weekend? Paul Johnson is a master coach. He’s got a bunch of kids who don’t really fit into his system that well and he’s running this insane triple-option and winning. Tech barely beat C.J. Spiller (I’d say Clemson, but the only thing they had was Spiller on Saturday) for the ACC Title and a berth in the Orange Bowl. At times I thought the Tech players were still a little agog about what to do in Johnson’s offense (and that’s because he doesn’t have a full group of “his guys”) and that leads to some problems. Plus, his defense doesn’t get the best looks during the week because they run such a weird offense. Imagine if he had ALL his own people in there and the defense learns how to adapt to the “not getting enough good looks” thing. How good is Tech going to be next year? WOW. I’ll tell you this…they got destroyed by LSU last year in their bowl game, but Iowa better look out because I think ole Paul’s got somethin’ special waitin’ for ‘em.

In the NFL I learned a few really annoying things and one eye-opener.

First, I learned that my Dad (a Falcons fan) doesn’t watch the Falcons. Wanna know why? He told me “Son, I don’t watch the Falcons anymore because when you were little I used to get so upset watching them that I’d literally be sick.” Now, I know a lot of you out there can understand that sentiment and since I’m 31 that also says how long the Falcons have been annoying my Dad. A LONG F****** TIME! With that said I learned something about the Falcons.

They aren’t lazy like I said they were a few weeks ago. No, they’re just snake-bitten. They’re on their way to a second winning season in a row (something they’ve never done) and Matt Ryan goes down and Chris Redman comes in and shines…then the next week they lose to the Eagles 34-7. That’s snake-bitten if you asked me. You get just close enough and them “BAM!” back to the mat you go. I can pick the Falcons to win games and playoff games all I want but I will NEVER pick them to win the Super Bowl unless they are the only team left in the league.

- I learned that the Saints are just about as invincible as you can get and we’re getting really close to an “undefeated Super Bowl” between the Colts and the Saints. (I don’t think Jim Caldwell’s going to let up like I predicted.)

- I learned that Pittsburgh wants to make my “3 teams from one division making the playoffs” scenario hard to do. Why in the hell did they lose to the Raiders? Was it Gradkowski? Blast! I praise him once and he screws a perfectly-well-thought-out theory.

- I learned that the Patriots have more chinks in their armor than I thought. (They really are the Mitchells!)

- I learned that the Titans aren’t perfect, Chris Johnson won’t be right about their record, but they still have an outside shot of making the playoffs.

- I learned that my 49ers are NOT going to the playoffs this year. I can’t say I’m surprised, but my expectations have risen significantly.

- I learned that I was right not to trust the Cowboys after they just handed a win to the Giants

- And we all learned that Brett Favre is not invincible and that Kurt Warner still has it too. The question is: Who cracks first of old age?

What Else Did The General Learn This Weekend?

Well, I learned some things about Soccer. (Keep in mind that I’m a Soccer-lover, always have been.) They drew for the World Cup and the U.S. got a “favorable draw”, but the U.S. hasn’t done anything in the World Cup since they beat England in 1966. Yeah…1996. As a reference point, my parents got married in 1964…that’s how old that news is. The best part about that “pivotal win” in ’66 is that they didn’t beat England for the Cup…they just beat England. I might’ve been able to do that myself…have you seen their Armada lately?

So, the U.S. has to get by England, Algeria and Slovenia. I turn on the 4-letter network and see Alexi Lalas flapping his yap about this. Apparently, a retired English “footballer” as they call them over there said that it wasn’t a worry because they were just “playin’ the Yanks” and Alexi Lalas took offense to that. Listen up Lexi. First, you never did anything on the U.S. team…Except have red hair. The only reason you play in Italy was because you were a spectacle, AND you know no one feared you back then. Jozy Altidore, Landon Donovan, Clint Dempsey and all those guys are way better than you could ever DREAM of being…so shut up! PLEASE…shut up…

Overall, the French got screwed because they screwed the Irish to get into the Tournament and Argentina got a nice draw as well. The only team we’re not talking about is Brazil because they’re probably going to win the whole thing anyways. There you go…Brazil wins on aggregate 52-2 ;o)

You know, they played Basketball this weekend too…

The Lakers cruised to their 9^th straight win and maintained the best record in the league. The “best record” would seem to be short-lived because they’ve played a couple less games than some other teams and there are teams with really good records (Denver, Cleveland, Boston, Phoenix, Dallas, Orlando, Atlanta, etc.) At some point there will be some separation amongst the true contenders and the teams that “could only hang for a minute”.

I imagine the teams that won’t be able to hang forever are Phoenix (I like Alvin Gentry, but I just don’t see it), Dallas (they’re STILL reeling from losing the ’06 Finals after being up 2-0), and Boston (they’re old…that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!) That leaves Cleveland, Orlando, Atlanta, and Denver and my Lakers.

Personally, I have no problem with seeing Denver and L.A. in the West Finals again and I’d LOVE to see Cleveland and Orlando do it again in the East Finals (find out if LeBron learned anything last year.)

I don’t hate LeBron, but I do think he’s the Buffalo Bills/Atlanta Braves of basketball. He’s going to get 1 title or none. He’s a great regular-season player and he could conceivably win the MVP from no until the cows come home, but that doesn’t make him a champ (it didn’t make Steve Nash or Kobe champs.) When Kobe gave the offense (for the most part) then the Lakers cruised to a championship. If Danny Ferry ever finds someone for LeBron to give the offense up to then I’ll believe. Right now…I just don’t see that happening. Danny Ferry looks like he’s Pete Babcock right now…never going to get fired and nobody knows why he’s still there. They need to pay off his contract (or move him higher in the front office), pat him on the back, tell him “good job” and find someone who will fill this team with GOOD role-players. If Danny Ferry has to be Tony Dungy (like, Tony Dungy in Tampa Bay setting things up for Jon Gruden) then fine…but they need to do SOMETHING, because Shaq (refuse his cute little nicknames) isn’t working. He’s slow, fat and out of shape…and he has a bad hip. (Did I mention he’s 37? “Warren Moon played at 40”…I know, but Warren Moon took fewer hits than Shaq, is shorter than Shaq, and never had a bad hip.) I rest my case.

AI comes back tonight as a starter for the Sixers against the Nuggets (a.k.a. – the team that didn’t use him effectively) and after he cried at his press conference I’m really starting to think this can only go one of two ways:

You know how when they show the freak on American Idol that is all like “If I can’t express myself through music or I’ll die” the whole time you’re thinking “This is either going to suck beyond sucking or be some of the best singing I’ve ever heard”? You know? Yeah, that’s AI for me right now. He’s going in the Hall on the first ballot either way, but after “sobgate” he’s either going to come out with automatic weapons in each hand and take out everybody in one spray or he’s going to be awful and they’ll do a retrospective on the 4-letter network about the “AI that was”. (You know the ones they do like he just died even though he’s healthy and in his 30’s?)

I’m hoping for an AI breakout party today, but I can’t expect anything because he’s on a bad Sixers team and he’s playing Nuggets and you never know what you’ll get from them.

What can I say…I’m a little out of sorts. Check out The Smorgasbord Part 2 and see if I can get myself back on track with my picks.

Peace.

Who WOULD win in a fight between the Saints and Colts? I don’t mean to discount other teams that are playing very well (namely the Bengals and the Vikings) but all indications would point to a New Orleans/Indy Super Bowl that will be played outside in sunny South Florida (on my birthday no less.) Just imagine the scene with Peyton Manning and Drew Brees taking turns slinging the ball all over the place. Each team running because it looks good to have balance but only running so they can just throw the ball more. Each team’s defense standing back in awe saying “How in the hell do we defend against this madness?” Each team’s coach stalking the sideline in stoic grandeur as his team racks up points and then their opponent racks up points and they just take turns until the 60 minutes are up and one team doesn’t have enough time to make one more drive to score yet again.

If I had to pick who’s going to the Super Bowl right now I’d have to pick the Saints and the Colts because I think that they can be there (and pretty easily) but then I got into a debate yesterday with a friend over who would win the game and why. We were actually in violent agreement…I mean, we were talking about the same thing (and we had a teenager there who agreed with us too) but we were all taking different perspectives of the same argument…the Colts would win.

My buddy’s take was that Peyton can just control the game. He can come to the line of scrimmage EVERY DOWN and audible something somewhere to somebody and confuse the hell out of the Saints defense.

The teenager’s take was that Drew Brees is great but he has no experience running through the playoffs like we all think he’ll be doing this year. Yeah, it sounds great to say he would just sweep into the Super Bowl and take it home, but he has no experience DOING that and that will be his Achilles heel.

My take is simple…when Peyton Manning throws the ball it looks like he’s throwing downhill. Literally downhill. It’s as if he’s 20 feet tall and he’s pitching the ball down to the little ants on the field. You see, when Drew Brees slings the ball all over the field it doesn’t take very long, but when Peyton does the exact same thing it can take forever. My buddy’s right. Peyton can control the tempo of a game in a way that no other Quarterback since Joe Montana can. I know both teams would score a lot of points and it would be a bloody match, but in the end I just don’t think that the Saints would have enough time to score enough points to keep up with the Colts.

Now, you could take my words and turn them around on me and say “Well, if the Saints don’t take that long to score then they’ll just zip down the field and score a lot, get one stop on defense and the game is over because the Colts will take too long to score.” Well, that’s a really good argument and you’ve just totally blown up my theory…except for this one thing:

If Peyton Manning can control the tempo of the game that means he can go faster if he needs to. He can take 8 minutes to go 88 yards on a scoring drive or he can take 45 seconds. Therein lies the difference. Drew Brees only knows how to do it one way. Peyton Manning can do it all ways and all at once if necessary. Right now…I’m taking the Colts on tempo alone…but the score would be something like:

IND – 56 NO – 48

There’s a Real Fight Around the Corner Too!

You know, Floyd Mayweather Jr. has agreed to fight Manny Pacquiao and I’m jazzed for this one. (Oh, I guess I should give you some background since I’ve never talking about Boxing here before.) I remember the old Tuesday Night Fights that featured smaller fighters (like Pacquiao and Mayweather) and this was on EVERY week. I remember when the Heavyweights were great and all, but everyone wanted to see Sugar Ray Leonard, Tommy “The Hitman” Hearns, and “Marvelous” Marvin Hagler more than they wanted to see the new breed of Heavyweights. I mean, even when Mike Tyson ascended to glory when he was but a wee tot the smaller weight classes didn’t suffer. Sugar Ray Leonard came out of retirement to fight Hagler and Hearns fought long past his prime, but everybody loved these guys and watched them constantly.

I have lamented to my Dad on NUMEROUS occasions the lack of good Boxing in the 90’s and 2000’s (the oughts…whatever) and everytime he says “Son, little fighters don’t sell anymore.” Now, you can argue for Ricky Hatton and Oscar de la Hoya and guys like that, but they weren’t transcendent. Not like Pacquiao.

I’ve heard some people talk about Roy Jones Jr. as one of the greatest pound for pound and I would agree, but he didn’t capture our attention. I mean, he also has a huge collection of Jordans, plays basketball, medaled at the Olympics, and fought in larger weight classes. He never captured our attention the way that guys like Leonard, Hearns and Hagler did. I wish he had, but he just didn’t. I can’t explain…I just know that’s the way it is.

Then comes along this Pacquiao guy. I remember thinking that Ricky Hatton (a salty Brit who is ALL “bruiser”. I mean, this guy walks around with scars from bar fights on him everyday, right?) was going to DESTROY a skinny little dude like Pacquiao. I mean, kill him like Drago did to Apollo Creed in “Rocky 4”. I mean, look at Manny Pacquiao and tell me that he looks like he’s a fighter anyways. He looks like Mark Anthony (only Filipino) and he SINGS TOO. THIS GUY CANNOT BE A PRIZE-FIGHTER! So, I went around all week before the Hatton/Pacquiao fight saying “This is Ricky Hatton’s day and Manny Pacquiao is going to die.” Then…

I watched the fight. Pacquiao looks like he’s jumping when he punches. No really, it’s like a video game. Remember “Double Dragon”? Remember how on that game all the kicks and punches shot your character forward on the screen and if you kept doing that you could push the bad guys off the screen? Yeah, that’s what Pacquiao does. He jumps forward when he punches and pushes you back to the ropes. I had no idea he was THAT powerful. Anyways, he beat the ever-loving mess out of Hatton and I was proven wrong. Then he fought Miguel Cotto and beat the hell out of him too. Now, we have this Mayweather/Pacquiao fight in the works and I love this conversation we have to have.

People all over the place are going to say that Mayweather is one of the best to ever do it and I would tend to agree, but how can you pick Mayweather to win a fight like this at 147 lbs. where Pacquiao is playing a video game and Mayweather is playing real life. This kind of disbelief in the power of Pacquiao has been proven to be unwise so many times that I don’t know how in the world you can say he will lose.

Listen, Mayweather’s going to flap his yap and he’s going to work like a dog to get ready for this thing, but at the end of the day he’s going to be sitting on the ropes right where Pacquiao put him with his “jump-punching” or jupunching if you like. I know they haven’t even really agreed on it yet, and Jerry Jones is trying to get the fight in Dallas, but this one need to go down at Caesar’s in Vegas like a fight of this magnitude should.

I even heard that each fighter might make $40 million of this thing. This could be the fight of the decade if it goes right…man I hope it does.

There’s Not Enough Fighting in the NFL…

Who would win in a fight between the Ravens and the Steelers? Both teams are 6-5, both teams are in kind of a funk (although Baltimore went a long way in getting out of theirs by coming back on the Steelers last week) but the Steelers were looking ok until they gave that game away against the Ravens. They’re going to have to do this all over again on Dec. 27^th and that may be the game that decides who gets a wildcard spot and who doesn’t. Yes, they’re still in contention with Jacksonville and Denver for the 2 wildcard slots in the AFC, but I really think that will be the deciding game in the AFC for one of the wildcard berths.

Who wins the fight? You want me to tell you? Well, given that the Steelers are having issues with Big Ben (he gets hurt a lot and now Dennis Dixon is filling in for him) and the Ravens have their team fairly well intact then I would have to pick the Ravens. Now, I did this last year for the AFC Title Game and the Ravens lost that one, but if I HAD to do it right now I’d take the Ravens just based on momentum and the current makeup of their team. (They’re using Haloti Ngata on power running sets on offense. For all that is holy!!! Tell me this isn’t true because if it is and the Ravens get in the playoffs and they meet the Colts this might be an issue for my whole Colts/Saints Super Bowl argument.)

I know I said earlier in the season that I thought it might be remotely possible for 3 teams from the same division (the AFC North) to make the playoffs and I guess it’s possible, but:

The Broncos are going to have to stall because they are currently at 7-4 and the Ravens and Steelers are currently at 6-5. I don’t know how that would all work since Denver gets to play K.C. and Oakland 3 out of their last 5 games (I mean, don’t those all sound like guaranteed wins?) Then again, the Ravens get to play Detroit, Chicago, and Oakland in 3 of their last 5 games and the Steelers get Oakland, Cleveland and Miami in 3 of their last 5. Don’t the Broncos sound like they have the easiest road to mess up my “3 teams from one division can make the playoffs” scenario? Yeah, they do. We also thought they were going 14-2 after they started so strong this season. Once again, that’s why I don’t bet on sports…

In the NFC it’s the Giants, Philly, Atlanta, Green Bay and San Francisco all doing a “Royal Cage Match” to decide who’s getting the two coveted wildcard spots. For me, it gets down to this. If the Falcons lose to the Eagles this weekend (which I don’t foresee, but I have been wrong…every now and then ;o) then the Falcons are done.

If the 49ers go on a tear and everyone else starts to falter they might have a chance (their chance would begin with the Falcons losing this Sunday to the Eagles.) Philly gets to play the 49ers and the Giants in their last 5 games so guess what Iggles fans? If you can win those two games you’re probably in…why? Because you’ll have the tiebreaker on the Giants PLUS the Packers have to play the Steelers AND the Ravens in their last 5 games. The Steelers and Ravens know there is a slim chance of both of them getting into the playoffs with Cincy ahead of them so they’re going to claw someone’s (the Packers) eyeballs out to get there. So, that means Green Bay is done…stick a fork in ‘em.

Who did that leave? My 49ers: Who I think can go on a tear and put themselves in the playoffs. They get Seattle, Detroit, St. Louis and a safe Iggles team in 4 of their last 5. Who’s the 5^th game? Against the Cardinals who they aren’t going to catch anyways…

So, there you have it. The General says:

The Steelers and Ravens take the wildcards in the AFC

And

The Iggles and 49ers take the wildcards in the NFC

Whew!!

Just one more thing…

You know Columbo would be asking himself “What if the Bama beats Florida and Texas loses to Nebraska on Saturday?”

You know what’s going to happen? Everything is going to be jacked to Jesus. Imagine the implications of a Texas loss and a Bama win. That means Cincinnati HAS to beat Pitt and then they have to pray like they’ve never prayed that the computers put them ahead of TCU in the final BCS standings. Both TCU and Cincinnati will have a case for why they should be in the Title Game. Those who like the current format will argue that the team with the tougher schedule should get in because they “played better competition” and those who hate this system will start screaming for a playoff so we can settle this thing.

Let’s say Cincinnati (on that day that would for SURE live in infamy) lost (like idiots) to Pitt. Then you have TCU (undefeated) and Bama (undefeated) playing in the National Title game.

Why have I not brought up the prospect of Florida winning the SEC Title Game? Well, it’s quite simple. If Florida wins the SEC Title all of this stuff would play out with Florida in Bama’s place. But…

If Bama wins and all of this other stuff happens who’s to say that the BCS wouldn’t just put Florida and Bama in the BCS Title Game and let them play ANOTHER rematch? Would you put that past the BCS? I wouldn’t. Not in a million years.

What’s more likely to happen? Texas wins and the winner of the SEC Title plays them in the BCS Title Game, but oh how I want this to get cosmically screwed up so badly. The image of sweaty college presidents pounding pack after pack of cigs trying to figure out where they went wrong is just too alluring for me to pass up.

With the Defense getting a complete overhaul this puts Georgia in a much better position than I thought they were a couple days ago.  (No one ever wants someone to get fired) but you can see how this helps Georgia in the long-term and it totally separates Mark Richt from the Bobby Bowden coaching tree…how?

Because Bowden-disciples tend to hold on too long to people, players, ideas, all of that stuff because that’s what Bobby did (I almost said does, but he’s out in Tallahassee) and that “holding on” tends to be their ultimate foil.  Not here.

Mark Richt decided he wasn’t going to be the deer in the headlights that needs to be told by his bosses to get rid of people (or his bosses at UGA move faster than T.K. Wetherell and the gang at FSU.)  Either way, Mark Richt just fixed this team for next season and now Georgia Tech is still going to have a fight on its hands.

Tech has been cutting (deeply) into Georgia’s recruiting here in the south [and especially in Georgia] and now Georgia will likely have a much nicer recruiting class than they would have before this move.  My only question is…where are they going to get a DC from?

Wherever they go they can’t possibly replicate what Brian Van Gorder did in Athens and all the good ones are taken.  This is why I was an advocate of shuffling the staff (and the whole I don’t like seeing people get fired thing), and I’m standing fast in that position because I know their team got better but how much better remains to be seen.

Clearly, Georgia can run the ball and they have talent all over the place so they SHOULD be fine, but right now are going to have to hold onto this “DC question” until it gets answered.  I can guarantee you that the Bulldog Nation will be all aflitter until it gets answered and then they’ll talk about it all offseason until we actually see the new defense play.  (Oh, and they’ll rag on Tech fans for the next 360 days.)

Bobby Takes a Bow…

Since we’re here we’ll talk more about Bobby Bowden and his exit from Tallahassee.  We all knew it was coming on Monday when I alluded to it in my column. I could go on and on about how I called this one early in the season, but I’m not that petty (close, but not quite) and I could go on and on about how people like Dick Vitale think it’s bad for an employer to have control rather than the employee, but now we’re getting into territory that is just driving me bananas.

Bowden wants play his last game in Florida (understandable) but in order to do that he’d have to play the Gator Bowl.  Well, the Gator Bowl is willing to take FSU, but they have get their choice approve by the ACC because other teams have a better record than the Noles.

What if you’re another team who’s done better than them and you get screwed out of a better bowl game?  How is that going to sit with a college president who’s only thought all day is about money…and you’re losing money on this whole “FSU gets a nicer bowl than you thing”?  I don’t think there’s going to be any niceties about this and if there are I’ll be SHOCKED.  Honestly, lawyers will probably be involved and ole Bobby will just take up more of our airspace doing more crazy mess.

Listen Bobby, I like your teams, I like you, but you don’t get to hold us all hostage.  If the only bowl that wants you is the Humanitarian Bowl then schlepp your old behind up to Boise, play on a blue field and be happy about it because hijacking another team’s bowl bid just because you want to play up the street from your house (that you bought with your ungodly salary) doesn’t mean you should just automatically get it because you “deserve” it or “earned” it.  Heck, the NCAA already decided you didn’t “earn” some wins because you were playing ineligible players and there was rampant cheating going on in FSU athletics (which basically means football.)  So, don’t give me this tired “pour Bobby act” because I for one…am over it.

I wrote that T.K. Wetherell was half a second from jumping across a table and choking you out.  I was only half-joking because I can’t imagine how pissed he’s been all season and how pissed he was when you said you were going to retire and then changed your mind the next day.  That wishy-washy mess only works in the NFL and it only works for Brett Favre and right now he’s the better looking of you two old men.  Got it?

Ok, I’m better now…  Join me after the jump for the college and NFL picks and thoughts

I don’t think it’s any shock that I’m picking the Championship and pseudo-championship games for this weekend, but I thought I should mention that only so many games mean anything this time of year…let’s start with one that isn’t a championship game in name, but it is in meaning.

The Defacto Pac-10 Championship Game Sponsored by Poor Planning

Oregon State @ Oregon: Because they’re doing this one is Eugene it’s just going to be that much more interesting because Oregon is the favorite and they’re at home so maybe they’ll have the “home-field advantage” but they’ll also have the “home-field pressure”.  Someone’s going to the Rose Bowl off of this game and someone is going to be monumentally disappointed (I mean, when in the future do either of these teams expect USC to screw up two different games like they did this year?)

With that said I’m not picking against the Ducks.  I’m not stupid.  I know they knew they had a chance at the BCS Title Game and they screwed it up, but still, they have the fight to get this done.  I just don’t see how this will go any other way…if you can make an argument against the Ducks I’d like to hear it.  The Ducks seriously Quack the Beavers…

The Defacto Big East Championship Game Sponsored by “We’re Not a “Big” Conference Anymore and We Know It”

Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh: This is in Pittsburgh, but did you see Brian Kelly talking about the rumors that he’s at the top of Notre Dame’s coaching carousel wishlist?  He said it was irrelevant and that they’ve been working ONLY for a Championship and that the media can totally kiss his ass and screw around on their computers.  I LOVE IT!  Because he didn’t actually tell us (the media) to kiss his ass, but he said it in a way…you know?  A guy like that can do anything…I mean, anything.  I kinda like Dave Wannstedt at Pitt and I kinda want him to succeed (not be Norv Turner) but I don’t see it happening.  The Bearcats get their Cattitude all over the Panthers…

The Real SEC Title Game

Florida and Alabama: Florida has Tim Tebow…Bama has everybody else.  I don’t see how in the world the Gators are going to put one over on the Tide again.  I just don’t.  They’ve got a million NFL prospects playing defense at Bama and a Defensive Head Coach.  What else do you want from me?  An actual breakdown?  It’s not coming…

Listen, if Bama stops Tim Tebow then Florida is dead meat, period, end of story.

Bama has Ingram and McElroy and they can do this.  Florida hasn’t been the same as last year, but everybody is pretending that they are the same team from last season and they just aren’t.  Stop lying to yourselves…Florida’s going down…down down down.

The Real Big 12 Title Game

Texas and Nebraska: Come on, do we really think Nebraska can ruin this for Texas?  I like Bo Pellini and he’s clearly doing something right, but if Texas didn’t lose to A&M there’s no way they’re losing to Nebraska.  (And don’t give em all that fluff about how Nebraska is better than A&M.  A&M matches up better with Texas than the Huskers do.)   The Horns Hook ‘Em

The Real ACC Title Game:

Clemson and Georgia Tech: How pissed do you think Georgia Te….scratch that.  How pissed do you think Paul Johnson is that his Jackets lost to UGA?  Do you think they’re burying bodies out behind Bobby Dodd Stadium at Historic Grant Field?  You do?  Then you know what’s going to happen.   Tech annihilates Clemson…

La Liga del NF

I’m 114-58 for those who are counting (like me)

Jets @ Buffalo: I trust the Bills about as far as I can throw them.  However, right now I’m trusting the Jets as far as I can throw Rex Ryan.  You know who weighs more…

BUF – 17   NYJ – 10

Philly @ Atlanta: The Falcons need this WAY more than the Eagles do.  However, the Falcons are minus Matt Ryan and the Eagles are minus Bryan Westbrook so where does that leave us?  One guy delivers the ball and the other is the focal point of the other’s offense.  When there’s no Westbrook in the game the Eagles have shown that they have major issues on offense.  When Matt Ryan is out Chris Redman is, apparently, a nice backup.  (I was surprised but very pleased with his performance against Tampa.)  With a week to prepare I think Redman can do this thing… (Plus, the Falcons cut Jason Elam and got a kicker (Matt Bryant, the guy who’s kid died and then he kicked the game-winning field goal the very next week.  Gotta love a dude like that) that isn’t broke down and a long snapper that doesn’t put them out low EVERY time.)

ATL – 24   PHI – 21

Tampa @ Carolina: The Panthers have put something together (but I’m not taking back anything I said about Jake Delhomme) and Bucs are still awful.  How would I pick this game any other way?

CAR – 28   TB – 3

New England @ Miami: New England lost a hard one to New Orleans and Randy Moss doesn’t look the same.  The Dolphins are kind of getting away from the Wildcat and I can see how this confluence of events can result in another New England loss.

You see, when I compared to Patriots to the Mitchells on Dexter last week I wasn’t kidding.  What the hell do you think is going on behind closed doors?  I mean, did you see this week’s episode where Arthur tells his daughter that he has a family to take care of (you know, while he’s keeping a boy in the basement of an empty house preparing to bury him in cement?)  Yeah, how jacked up do you think the Patriots are right now?  Where has the cool and collected Belichick gone?  I think he’s smudging his sister’s ashes at crime scenes and calling his Secretary Vera…I’m just saying…

MIA – 27   NE – 24

St. Louis @ Chicago: “Gag me @ gag me” is what I want to call this one.  It’s another one of the “heavy sigh” games where I just don’t even have the strength to think about two teams that are this irrelevant.  YUCK!

With that aside, St. Louis might be realizing that they need to part ways with Mark Bulger and draft someone like Tim Tebow next year…I think they might be getting smart.  This is a garbage win for the Bears, but a win nonetheless…

CHI – 13   STL – 3

Detroit @ Cincinnati: Cincinnati swept the AFC North and Detroit can barely win a game.  This is the one where the Bengals show us how much they’ve grown…I mean GROWN.  (While the Lions are groaning as they get their ass handed to them on a silver platter.)

CIN – 52   DET – 6

Tennessee @ Indy: Here’s where my “Casino Royale Theory” collides with my “Chris Johnson Might Be Right Theory”.  If this game could end in a  tie that would really help me out, but I know that’s not going to happen.

I think we’ve all got the Saints and Indy atop everything so it’s no surprise that I would lean towards the Colts, but I have remember a cautionary tale called “The 2007 Patriots”.  They spent all that time going undefeated and lost the Super Bowl.  Had they just gotten it out of their system earlier they probably could have beat the hell out of the Giants, but the pressure they were under made them play in such a way that Eli was in the game until the very end…and won it.

The Saints are just dumb enough to try this…the Colts are not.  People are going to start resting and they’ll cruise to home-field advantage so they’re not REALLY going to try again until their first playoff game.  The Titans NEED this and I think they’ll get it…they’re going 10-6 (until they lose and prove me wrong.)

TEN – 35   IND – 28

Houston @ Jacksonville: Houston needs to do something or they’re going to be the “Coulda Shoulda Woulda” Texans again.  Matt Schaub needs to decide if he’s going to be Steve DeBerg (and kinda be good, but not legendary) or is he going to be Steve Young (good and legendary.)

The Jags need to stop staying the course.  I heard most of their game with San Francisco last week and I’ll tell you that the announcers in Jacksonville were just killing them.  They hate the offense, they hate the way Garrard plays, they hate the fact that he has potential and doesn’t use all of it, they compared him to Alex Smith, they don’t know what to call Maurice Jones-Drew (I mean, in his own town Jones-Drew confuses broadcasters.  Half the time they were calling him Drew and the other half they were calling him Jones-Drew…it’s was pretty funny), they don’t know what’s up with the defense, at one point I thought they were going to ask the Falcons for Mike Peterson back, and the Jags basically played right into their hands by sucking it up against the 49ers.  I don’t see a reason for this to stop now.

HOU – 35   JAC – 17

Denver @ Kansas City: If Denver can’t squeak one out here I don’t know when they will…the Chefs are terrible and the Broncos are all potential.  A loss here would seriously jeopardize the rest of Denver’s season.  A loss here for KC gets them one step closer to the 1st overall pick.

DEN – 21   KC – 0

Oakland @ Pittsburgh: I also heard most of the Steelers/Ravens game on the radio and I think the Steelers are a little hot about giving that game to Baltimore.  They need this one and Oakland needs to sit down and suck so they can fix every other problem on their team now that they’ve figured out the QB thing.

PIT – 30   OAK – 12

New Orleans @ Washington: Even if I thought the Saints were smart enough to drop at least one game before the end of the regular season I wouldn’t recommend it here…how embarrassing would that be?

NO – 49   WAS – 6

San Diego @ Cleveland: I don’t buy the Chargers, but the Browns suck eggs.  Enough said.

SD – 28   CLE – 3

Dallas @ Giants: I’m not going to “trust” the Cowboys because I know Mathis is going to stab me in the back anytime, but for now I will accept that he can get some things done.  The Giants are missing something.  I don’t know what it is.  I can’t quantify it, but they just don’t have it.  If we want to be real we know that after the Patriots won their first Super Bowl they missed the playoffs (they probably weren’t cheating that season, but that’s another column.)  Either way, the Giants are out of it I think and it’s sad because I like Eli Manning and Mario Manningham, but I just don’t see it happening.

DAL – 24   NYG – 14

49ers @ Seattle: Matt Hasselback hasn’t been killed yet, but that doesn’t mean the Seahawks are any good.  I really like Jim Mora…I do, but this isn’t his year.  It just isn’t.

The 49ers put one on the Jags and now I think they want to keep doing that so they can get back in the hunt.  Probably their only chance is to win their division and if they don’t want to disappoint me they need to pick up where they left off last week when they were beating down Jacksonville.

SF – 28   SEA – 6

Minnesota @ Arizona: These teams will probably combine for 8 or 900 yards of total offense, but the Cards won’t be able to score.  I bet the Vikes will just play with them and give them field goals all day.  Brett Favre will stay on a roll and just wait to meet the Saints in the NFC Title Game.

MIN – 35   ARI – 19

Baltimore @ Green Bay: Both of these teams are pretty good, but neither one is great.  Both have good wins and bad losses.  Both are very confusing.  If we do the math we get:

Aaron Rodgers + Donald Driver/Joe Flacco + Ray Rice + Willis McGahee + Derrick Mason + Ray Lewis + Ed Reed + Haloti Ngata

That equals death for the Packers…

BAL – 31   GB – 13

Enjoy your football.  Check in on Friday so we can talk ALL about the playoff implications of this weekend and what I think my college picks do to the BCS…

Now, I have to go back and apologize to Jeff Fisher for insinuating something.  The fact is correct…he’s only had 6 winning season in 16 years, but I insinuated that he’s a bad coach and that simply is not the case.  I did say that I thought he looked like he was completely over it and maybe it was time for him to step aside and get a change of scenery if he thought he didn’t want to be in Tennessee anymore.  Clearly, I was wrong about all of this.  He was still in the “Steve McNair dies” funk that most of the Titans were in and he simply couldn’t get out of it.  I can’t blame him for that.  I mean, I can blame him for 6 straight losses, but I won’t blame him for being depressed over a former player’s sudden death.

Apparently, Jeff Fisher is NOT over it and Vince Young IS a new person because the Titans looked great.  I can’t explain it.  I don’t have a formula to calculate how they did it.  I can’t quantify this happening other than to say “Vince Young is back to his 2007 playoff form.”  That’s all I got.  He’s a changed man and that’s enough for me.

As for the whole “my picks got screwed this week by a lot of inferior teams beating teams they shouldn’t beat” thing…  I’ve got a solution.  I’m going to pick on raw emotion today and really work out some of my emotional baggage from this past weekend now I don’t carry all the way to this upcoming weekend.  With that said let’s get to the picks (not all picking…maybe some nose picking, but I’ve got some things I need to talk through and if I don’t do it now my head might pop off and float away like a balloon.  If you have kids and they watch “Phineas and Ferb” you know what I’m talking about.)

Thanksgiving Football is a right of passage in America.  You put Dad and Son (and even Grandpa and sometimes Great-Grandpa) in front of the TV and watch some Football.  We’re all used to having Detroit and Dallas play on Thanksgiving Thursday, but the NFL has seen the cache that is associated with the games and so they’ve added a third game to Thanksgiving (which would be fine except that’s a lot of football to fit into a day that is devoted entirely to you engorging yourself more than once.  So, we’ll start with the Cornucopia of NFL football on Thanksgiving.

For the record I’m 105-52…

Green Bay @ Detroit:  Green Bay has been up and down all year, and I’m thinking that the only thing that is still really true from my “Hourglass Theory” is the fact that Green Bay is right in the middle.  Everything else is up for grabs, but there we have the Packers right in the middle of the whole league at 6-4.  They have little chance of catching Brett Favre and the Vikings but they could stay in the race for a wildcard if they stay on course (and on course means going like 9-7.)

Detroit took a game from Cleveland on Sunday that they didn’t deserve and they completely went against my “Gunther Cunningham” rule to get that win.  However, it shows a lot about the Lions that Matthew Stafford can stand in there and deliver the pass that he did.  Granted, he’s pretty hurt but he put up a great pass.  Can he continue that run of “pretty-goodness”?  I don’t know, but he does have Calvin Johnson to throw to (a.k.a. Superman) and he’s got a nice running game so he might be able to stay in lock-step with his current progress.

With that said, I am not repealing the “Gunther Cunningham Rule” because I think that the Packers can easily beat a team like the Lions.  Why you ask?  Well, they came back on the Browns…not really a feat.  Plus, they’re the Lions.  They aren’t a sleeping giant like the Bengals turned out to be, nope, they’re just a bad franchise.  They can get better (and I think they will) but I’m not holding my breath for this season.  If the Packers go to 7-5 and they will probably lose their next game to hit 7-6 and stay on target to go 9-7 (right where I think they’ll be at the end of the season) and they’ll be in the wildcard hunt (along with Atlanta, Philly, New York, and San Francisco [if they can get it together.])

GB – 24   DET – 9
Oakland @ Dallas: Listen, I know I gushed over BruGrad and his game-tying drive and then the subsequent fumble and Oakland overtaking Cincinnati, but I don’t know if Oakland can beat Dallas.  However, since Dallas is Mathis and at any point they’ll turn around and stab me in the back I have no inclination at all to just pick them and move on.  Yes, the Cowboys are 7-3, yes Tony Romo looked great last week, yes they have the upper-hand on some teams, but I just don’t trust them.  There’s something about the Cowboys that’s just henky(I know it’s not a word and I know Tommy Lee Jones doesn’t think it’s a word, but henky is all I got.)

Maybe it’s the whole “Wade Phillips isn’t an interim Head Coach so he’s bound to suck” thing, or it could be that I don’t trust Tony Romo (even though he killed my “Starsky and Hutch” reference, or it could be that I think they’re a house of cards.

Marion Barber is an angry Running Back.  He runs like he’s about to kill someone, but he gets hurt a lot.  Miles Austin is emerging as a powerful Receiver in the NFL, but on some level he’s already been “figured out”.  Demarcus Ware is an incredible pass-rusher, but he has no help up there and he’s doing a ton of work on his own.  I just get this eerie feeling that any minute something’s going to happen and the Cowboy’s house is going to come crashing down.

We already know that Oakland’s house is busted to begin with.  Just imagine what the Raiders’ house looks like…imagine “Fight Club” and that nasty dump that Tyler lives in.  The leaky roof, mold and mildew everywhere, the disgusting grime and grit on everything, the ceiling crumbling when Tyler does his business, and the dark and ominous feel of it all.  That’s the Raiders’ house right now.  BUT, we forget one crucial element in this whole analogy…Tyler’s house never crumbled.  There was never any mention of a weak foundation or any mention of rotting floorboards.  They lived in that dump just fine.  Maybe the Raiders have learned to live in their dump just fine and they’re going to make due until they can blow up every building in the city (every team in the League) and grab a nicer house in the ensuing mayhem.

That would be kinda cool actually.  As much as I hate on Al Davis I really do want the Raiders to be good.  I grew with them being a strong and tradition-laden franchise and to see them like this is a little depressing for me.

As you can probably imagine I’ve talked myself into my pick, but I do believe in this theory.  We’ll call it the “Fight Club Dump Theory” and we’ll attribute it first to the Oakland Raiders who won’t blow down the Cowboys’ house of cards, but they will jump up and down right next to it to see how many cards fall off.

OAK – 24   DAL – 21

Giants @ Denver: The Giants are finally trending up again and the Broncos are trending down.  I think this calls for a “Back to Life, Back to Reality”.  The Broncos are back to life and back to reality because they have a hurt Kyle Orton and they cannot sustain the 6-0 start they had this season.  They’re still in the hunt (even though they just gave up the lead in their division to the Chargers [who I’m not buying anyways]) so I’m not giving up on them, but they are definitely NOT the Saints or Colts (teams we thought they might have been the way they started this season.)

Eli Manning has a great new weapon in Mario Manningham and that back-shoulder pass he threw to Manningham in overtime was absolutely classic.  I didn’t predict that turn of events, but that’s why I picked the Giants in the first place.  Manning’s got a ring…Matt Ryan doesn’t.  The Giants defense is a sleeping “giant”.  The Falcons defense is just asleep.

The same is true here.  The Broncos defense is just asleep.  I could go on and on about how Kyle Orton will come back in and wow us, but will he be able to score enough to fend off a clearly resurgent Giants offense AND defense?  I don’t think so.

NYG – 35   DEN -  21

With Thanksgiving in the bag join me after the jump to finish off the week (and let me get some things off my chest.)

Tampa Bay @ Atlanta: Tampa isn’t getting any better, but Atlanta in on a serous slide.  They need to get something together and soon before heads start rolling in Flowery Branch (because Mike Smith can only take so much.)  (Can you imagine what he’s like when he’s angry?)  I say the Falcons are afraid (not of losing, of Mike Smith after they lose) and they won’t do it again.  I mean, really, could this game come at a better time for the Falcons?  I think not!

ATL – 35   TB – 16

Miami @ Buffalo: We get more football revved up on Sunday with a set of games that most surely cannot go worse for me than last week.  (SURELY!)  We’ll start with Buffalo and Miami.  New coach didn’t help in Buffalo and they desperately need one.  New QB ain’t helpin’.  T.O. aint’ helpin’.  Nobody’s really doing anything in Buffalo.  Like I said a few paragraphs ago:  I think Mike Shanahan should go to Buffalo and he might be able to keep the team out of Toronto.

Miami is trending up after hitting 5-5 with a nice win last week and seemingly more to come.  Tony Sparano seems to have his team on an even keel and I don’t think he’ll let Chad Henne try to do too much.  As they step back from the Wildcat and just let Ricky Williams run I bet they’ll find more success than they ever did with the gimmicky crap that everyone’s figured out by now.  (Yes, I’ll tell you how I feel.)

MIA – 24   BUF – 3

Seattle @ St. Louis: Two bad teams in a game no one wants to watch.  I mean, no one.  When I see games like this on the schedule I sigh REALLY loud and someone always looks at me funny or asks me if everything’s ok.  That’s now bad this is.  For the sake of my original “St. Louis must go defeated in order to rebuild their franchise” theory I’ll pick the Seahawks (but I’ll complain to anyone who will listen!)

SEA – 13   STL – 9

Carolina @ Jets: If you had told me that the Panthers would be within a game of the Falcons in the NFC South a few weeks ago I would have laughed in your face.  Now, not so much.  The Panthers have somehow pulled it together with a crappy QB, a decent running game, and some nice defensive stops.  I don’t know if they can keep it up but they look better than the…

Jets.  The Jets are pissing me off.  There’s no way on Earth that I thought they’d start like they did and then right after I feel in love with them they started sucking.  These teams have identical records (4-6) but are in completely opposite places.  The Jets are on a skid that they need to stop immediately before it gets irrevocable and the Panthers are on a run that could vault them ahead of the Falcons if the Falcons aren’t careful.  Barring a disaster in Foxboro I don’t see how the Jets would even have a prayer of catching up to the Patriots (and they’re already behind the Dolphins.)  They can still have a nice, respectable season, but I’m not holding my breath for a playoff berth anymore.

CAR – 24   NYJ – 21

Cleveland @ Cincinnati: I remember when this was one of those “huge sigh” games where I could just write them both off, call it a tie and move on with my life.  No longer General.

Cincinnati came off a bad loss to the Raiders in which Senor Caldwell fumbled a kickoff that he should have never taken out of the endzone to begin with.  The Bengals were going to be able to squeak out that win in overtime I bet, but they never got that far.  Nonetheless, the Bengals are a really strong team who basically owns the AFC North this season (I know I called it the Central a couple weeks back, but what did you expect?  I called Candlestick Park Candlestick Park all the way up until they finally changed the name back) and since they’ve already swept the Steelers and Ravens there’s nothing left to do really except win out in their division (which is a MAJOR accomplishment considering how good the Ravens were last year and how good the Steelers still are.)

In Cleveland they showed you how hapless they STILL are after handing that game to Detroit last week.  There is no excuse for letting anyone (especially the Lions) come back on you like that.  There’s just no reason.  I can’t explain how upsetting it was to watch them just throw that game away.  They have Quarterback issues, and running back issues, and receiver issues, and defensive issues and none of that is being helped by anybody.  Now, I’m never going to call for anyone’s job, but if they are going to keep Doofgini through the season then he needs to show them something.  Anything.  Right now, he’s got nothing.  He has lost this team in my estimation and I don’t think he’s going to get it back.  If he coaches them next year it will be a lame-duck season like the one Jack Del Rio is currently in down in Jacksonville.  (I know 6-4 isn’t a lame-duck season, but that team quit on him last year and the season isn’t over yet.)  How long will the Browns accept mediocrity before they begin to move in the right direction?  It took the Falcons about 40 years.  At this rate I hope the fans in Cleveland can wait until 2049…

CIN – 35   CLE – 12

Indianapolis @ Houston: Did I mention that I’m not down the with the Texans anymore?  There’s something about that franchise that allows them to only go so far before they just fold.  They’re 5-5 (which is nice for them) but I think they were hoping for more and they aren’t getting it right now.

Indy is 9-0 and looking to go 10-0 again and I can’t say that I would want to stand in their way.  Granted, they’ve only won one Super Bowl since they started this whole “we’re gonna start the season highly undefeated” thing, but they consistently make the playoffs and we know now that they are proven winners so why argue with them?  They’ve improved since the season began and they nearly lost their first game.  We can’t say so much for another undefeated team in the NFL…

IND – 38   HOU – 20

New England @ New Orleans: This one is on Monday Night and I have to mention it right after the Colts because the Saints are looking to hit 11-0 against an improving (albeit not perfect) Patriots team.  Like I said in the Colts pick…the Saints have declined since Week 1 and the Colts have improved since Week 1.  Add to that the fact that Reggie Bush opened his yap and said they could go undefeated and I think they’ve got too much pressure on them and I don’t think they’re good enough to go undefeated given their schedule.  They’ve still got to play Atlanta, Carolina and Dallas and though I’ve crapped on all 3 of these teams they are NOT trying to go undefeated and can probably trip up a team that is.

With that said we have the 7-3 Patriots sitting atop the AFC East, but still stinging from that horrid 4th Down call from Belichick.  It was unlike him to make that call and I cannot imagine the profanity-laced argument that ensued between him and Tom Brady after that play went down.  You can’t tell me that Tom Brady actually believes that that call was their best chance to win, can you?  He was towing the company like when he had that stupid pretty-boy smirk on his face explaining that that was their best chance to win and blah, blah, blah.  He knew better and I bet he was PISSED.

Now, we can’t change that, but we have to acknowledge that Bill and Tom are having issues.  Anyone can work on a relationship, but at the end of the day Bill is still Tom’s boss and that’s going to make things hard when he’s already so cold to begin with.  They don’t have a house of cards in New England, but if you watch “Dexter” you’ll see that they are the Mitchell family.  {In the show John Lithgow plays this serial killer dubbed “Trinity” and Dexter discovers that this guy has a family.  Well, Dexter is shocked that his family is so loving and affectionate and so “middle America”.  Well, it all came out on the Thanksgiving episode that Trinity is a lunatic at home (John Lithgow needs to get an Emmy for this because he is so convincing) and his family is afraid of him.  They tow the “company line” in public, but behind closed doors they are shivering in fear.  That, my friends, is how I view the Patriots.

However bad I just made the Patriots sound Trinity’s cover is still working because the season isn’t over yet so it will work in New England too.  (Even though the game will be in New Orleans.)

NE -  27   NE – 24

Kansas City @ San Diego: I know I said I don’t buy the Chargers at all (the Norv Turner thing again) but I most certainly do not buy the Chefs and their miracle win last week.

SD – 28  KC – 6

Jacksonville @ San Francisco: I know I’m a 49ers fan and this will seem biased and all that, but I really think the 49ers are going to begin a turnaround this weekend at Jacksonville.  I’m still clinging to the whole notion that this IS a lame-duck season for Jack Del Rio and that means that he is going to eventually lose this team (unless he already has and they’re winning in spite of him like they do at LSU, but that’s a whole other story.)  So, since I think that we have to turn our attention to what the 49ers really are.

When the 49ers got off to their 3-1 start I was so pleased that I was blinded to the fact that we have MAJOR QB issues and even more major offensive issues because Frank Gore is hurt and we can’t rely on a rookie/holdout/idiot/athletic phenom/who-probably-rubs-Mike-Singletary-the-wrong-way in Michael Crabtree.  That’s the state of the 49ers offense.  However, all it would take is a couple miracles from Alex Smith and Michael Crabtree (like they were in the process of getting last weekend) and they’re home free.  That’s what I’m banking on.

SF – 24  JAC – 23

Chicago @ Minnesota: I already said that Brett Favre is getting more open looks than ever has in his career and now he’s getting them against a team that can’t run down the field and score because they’re QB is a crybaby who doesn’t care.  Yeah, that’s not going to work for the Bears.  Jay Cutler would be better off sitting on the sideline and taking notes while his backup plays the whole game.

MIN – 45   CHI – 13

Arizona @ Tennessee: I’m conflicted.  Vince Young (who I am trusting again) and Kurt Warner (who I think is a Hall of Famer.)  When Chris Johnson said (after an 0-6 start) that the Titans were going to go 10-6 and make the playoffs everyone laughed (including me, because I crapped all OVER him for that.)  Not me, not anybody else, and not anymore.  He can do this.  Chris Johnson is the best player on that team and if he says so then I’ll take him at his word the way a lot of people should’ve taken Broadway Joe at his work before Super Bowl III.

TEN – 28   ARI – 27

Pittsburgh @ Baltimore: It’s like this.  The Steelers are the Champs and they will be until they get knocked off.  They’re only 1 game behind the Bengals in the AFC North (almost called it the Central again) and the Bengals have swept them.  That says a lot about how tough the Steelers are.  The Ravens are trending the other way and I’m not sure that they can stop themselves this week (but they can win 4 of their last 5 games including another one against Pittsburgh.)  So, I think they’ll finish 9-7(and possibly
Behind the Titans) and not because I don’t like them, but because I think it’s not their year.  (And it’s a shame because I LOVE Ray Rice right now, but he can’t do it all by himself.)

PIT – 28   BAL – 17

Enjoy…I know I will.  (The Turkey too!) come back Friday for more from The General…

Just think about it for a second.  You pay Fat Bastard $18 million to go away and then you have to pay another new coach a couple million to come in and fix this train wreck.  If you believe Urban Meyer then you also believe that ND is his dream job.  Well, if goes on to win another title at Florida this year he might well be over it and want a “new challenge” (which is the stupidest thing I’ve heard by the way.  I’m tired of people who want to be challenged all the time.  Does he have any idea what a challenge it is to just keep Florida where he’s got it right now?)

So, if you get Meyer to come to South Bend how much do you pay him?  $6 million?  He would be the game’s first $6 million man and rightfully so since he will probably have won 3 titles in 4 years (which is freaking impossible in college football these days.)  Well, then you would have spent $24 million on Head Coaching in less than 12 months.  That is just ridiculous…but we’re dealing with the Catholic Church here people!  Just using the dividends on their real estate holdings ought to pay for this $24 million mess they’re in.  Plus, they could easily hit the pews and say “We’re taking a special collection for the Golden Domers” and they’d have that money raised lickety split.  (Nevermind that there are starving children in Africa or anything.)

Alright, let’s say that Meyer’s tells him “Hell to the no you’re moving us to freaking Siberia!  I’m not moving!”  and they stay in Gainesville (the smart choice by the way) then who does Notre Dame hire?  Anybody who would want that job is crazy.  The academic standards are too high to field a successful college football team in today’s game and alot of people probably look at Notre Dame like the Raiders and Browns…it’s the place where people go because they don’t think they’ll ever get another chance to be a head coach.  I have a solution to Notre Dame’s problem…

George O’Leary.

Remember way back when.  George O’Leary had beaten Georgia a few times while at Georgia Tech and he almost had Joe Hamilton win the Heisman.  He took the call to South Bend and over some inaccuracies on his resume he was compelled to resign by somebody deep within the bowels of the Golden Dome.  Remember what happened next?

They hired Ty Willingham, he did good, then he had one bad year and they fired him.  Then they hired Fat Bastard, he had a couple good years and then they gave him the stupid extension that includes this $18 million buyout.  Yep, that’s the one.  Well, first off, if I were Ty Willingham I’d sue for racial discrimination (but that’s just me.)  Second, you took a guy who was an Offensive Coordinator for someone who does not produce quality Head Coaches (Bill Belichick) who was lucky enough to have Tom Brady for a Quarterback.  For all the crapping I do on Tom Brady, he doesn’t suck…you ever think that he was making Charlie Weis look good and not the other way around?

{Somewhere in here Paul Hornung dropped his pants…}

So, if you’re George O’Leary I’d just call ND and say “See what you did to yourself?  You want to apologize now?”  And by apology I mean hire O’Leary.  Heck, he might even give a discount just because he’s old and doesn’t care.  Will the Golden Domers oblige?  Nope, they’re clearly too stupid for that at this point.  It’s a shame really.  {I’d love to see Lou Holtz do one of the pep talks he does on College Gameday for the folks at ND because they need a kick in the pants.}

Move to the NFL.  Since my Hourglass Theory has been blown to smithereens I need a new theory for a completely different looking league than when I made the “Hourglass” announcement.  Well, I’ve got it figured out…it’s the “The Casino Royale to NFL Regular Season Corollary.”  No, not the campy Casino Royale with David Niven….the perfect “Casino Royale” with Daniel Craig.

I know, I know. We could sit here all day and have a debate about who the best Bond is. Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan, (maybe the odd Timothy Dalton…I did really enjoy License to Kill) but at the end of the day all of those guys didn’t play Bond in 100% harsh reality the way Daniel Craig did.
When bad things happened, they were bad. When he was in danger you thought (even though you knew better) that he was gonna die. Even though I knew Vesper was gonna die, I thought it was going to be WAY sooner in the movie because of all the peril they encountered that seemed so serious.
Now, like I said, we can have this debate all day about who’s the best Bond and we can also have a debate about which is the best Bond movie. For example, before “Casino Royale” I really enjoyed “The World is Not Enough” and “For Your Eyes Only” to name a couple. (Honestly, my favorite sequence in ANY Bond movie is the skiing montage in “For Your Eyes Only” where Eric is chasing Roger Moore through the ice and snow in Cortina with the cool 70’s chase music in the background. That sequence is so good that it actually stops halfway through to let Bond get on the lift up to the top of the ski jumping platform. You don’t get to just stop a long action sequence like that…unless it’s the best one EVER!)

After “Casino Royale” my favorite Bond movie BECAME “Casino Royale”.  I mean, that movie affected me…for like 2 weeks. It really messed me up. I used to laugh at the older, non-Craig movies, but I wasn’t laughing at this one. It was so good my wife enjoyed it and she HATES the old James Bond movies. HATES THEM!!! That’s how good this movie is. It can get your wife to appreciate a character like James Bond.

So, now we apply this logic to the NFL:

Every Season has its Bond
Every Season has its LeChiffre
Every Season has its M
Every Season has its Vesper
And
Every Season has its moment when Bond is getting his balls busted (literally) by LeChiffre and he miraculously escapes.

Oh, and every season has its Marcus. Who you think is your friend. I mean, you’re not sure about him at first, then he wins your trust and then he stabs you in the back. The best part about Marcus is that he’ll get his in the end…he always does.

{I know you think I’m forgetting Mr. White but I’ll get to him later.}[Even better is the fact that the NFL is fluid and these characters get new Actors just about every week…just like a Soap Opera: Only fitting since a lot of NFLers admit to watching Soap Operas on their off time.]

This week the part of James Bond is being portrayed by…The Indianapolis Colts
This week the part of LeChiffre is being portrayed by…The New England Patriots
This week the part of M is being portrayed by… The New Orleans Saints
This week the part of Vesper is being portrayed by…The Cincinnati Bengals
And this week the part of Mathis is being portrayed by…The Dallas Cowboys

We all see that the Colts are Bond and this week it was no more evident than when the Patriots allowed themselves to become even more “LeChiffre” than they already are. Bond was strapped to the chair and the Patriots were just going to town and busting the Colt’s balls all day long. Then they kicked over the chair in a fit of stupidity and suddenly they were dead. Going for it on 4th down deep in their own end and they screwed the pooch. Bond miraculously survives and he walks away scott free.

The Saints are giving a marvelous rendering of M as they sit back and wonder how the Colts are 9-0. Just like the movie when M sits at home and wonders how Bond hacked all her personal files. The Saints are thinking the same thing. “We thought we were the new Colts only the old Colts are still here…sh$#!!!!!”

The Bengals are warming up a dramatic rendition of Vesper. We’re so distracted by the plunging neckline (sweeping the Ravens and Steelers) that we’re forgetting about everyone else’s hand. The same will happen here. We fell in love and now we’re ready to ride off into the sunset with her. As I see it, she’ll be dead by the end of the movie, but only partially through fault of her own.

Then there’s Dallas in the role of Mathis. I talked so much smack about them, I didn’t trust them, and then they wooed me with their charms, but at some point they’re going to stab me in the back…I can just feel it. As soon as I really buy in they’re going to be slipping out the back door after they just ratted me out. It sucks really, but every good movie must have its share of villains. (However, when they do eat it…we’ll all cheer just a little!)

Now, I know I said I was leaving someone out and that would be the ever-present Mr. White…the one who is responsible for Vesper’s death and who (because he is evil) is hated by everyone watching the movie. {Let’s just put it this way, at the end of “Casino Royale” when Bond shoots Mr. White in the foot my wife cheered. Yeah, you see how good this Daniel Craig is at making women enjoy his movies.}

So, who is Mr. White? Who is the villain that everyone wants to see get his so badly? Who in the NFL could possibly be that dastardly? Larry Johnson. Yes, Larry Johnson. He isn’t contrite, he’s just a lunatic. At some point the Colts will put a bullet in the foot of one Mr. Johnson (probably in the playoffs) and he will be the cause of said grief because Vesper will be dead and we’ll all be going back to work at MI-6 in the morning. It’s bound to happen…just wait and see.

Check out my college and NFL picks after the jump…Here comes the college…

Can you believe it’s already time for Ohio State and Michigan? This year they’re in Ann Arbor and I fully expect Big Blue to bend over and take it like they know they should. Buckeyes destroy the Wolverines

Both Florida and Alabama have cupcakes on their schedule late in the year (FIU and UTC respectively.) Yes, they’ll kill these pitiful little programs, but when are we going to penalize them for playing teams that are WORSE than the teams in the Mountain West (where TCU and Utah play) or the WAC (where Boise State plays.) At this point it really disgusts me that these programs can do whatever they want. Oh I just hope Texas can lose and TCU can win out so we can get down to it. I want to see TCU play wither Florida or Bama for the title and I want it to be a good game so bad I can’t stand it!

What else is there to say?

In the NFL it’s a little more complicated… (I’m 95-47 after some teams did a “Mathis” on me last week!)

Miami @ Carolina: I didn’t pick this because it was Thursday, but I have to sort of respect the Panthers whether they win or lose.  I mean, it makes me pre-vomit a little, but I have to.

Atlanta @ Giants: The Giants are slumping more than the Falcons, but the Falcons took a beating to a team they should have killed and Eli Manning is the QB in New York. If you’re weighing them on the scales of Justice Eli Manning will outweigh Matt Ryan everytime. NYG – 24 ATL – 21

New Orleans @ Tampa: New Orleans is sitting back in their chair just staring at that padded leather door to their office at MI-6 and when Tampa comes through the door something will explode and kill only the Bucs. (You know you like the Bond references.) NO – 45 TB – 9

San Francisco @ Green Bay: Green Bay I used to like and San Francisco is pissing me off. Yes, pissing me off. I’m not sure how to articulate how angry it makes me to see Mike Singeltary-led 49ers teams go up and down like this. However, I trust the 49ers more than I trust the Packers (who I don’t get anymore “It’s like I don’t even know you!”) SF – 24 GB – 14

Seattle @ Minnesota: Brett Favre has a career day…whaddaya think? MIN – 52 SEA – 6

Cleveland @ Detroit: The firs thing I did when I saw this game on the schedule was the fake vomit face. You know, the one where you’re pretending you’re hurling because whatever it is you’re referencing is so disgusting that it just deserves it. Yeah, this game falls in that category. However, due to the “Gunther Cunningham rule” I have to pick Cleveland. CLE – 3 DET – 0

Buffalo @ Jacksonville: You wonder if the players in Jacksonville will be jealous of the players in Buffalo because their coach just got fired and Jack Del Rio is still with the Jags? Just a thought. BUF – 14 JAC – 9

Washington @ Dallas: The NFC East is strong/weak this season. I could give a crap about how Washington is in the Top 5 or whatever in total defense. What I want to hear about is how Dallas is Mathis and I want to trust them but I know they’re shady. UGH! I hate both of these teams right now. (This is me preparing to get stabbed in the back.) DAL – 27 WAS – 10

Indianapolis @ Baltimore: I still love the Jon Gruden line “If the Ravens wear their throwback jerseys they’re the Browns!” Beyond that there’s not much to smile about in Baltimore. This isn’t a sophomore slump for Joe Flacco (a.k.a. The Golden Boy) but it is a whole year slump from their defense. Ed Reed and Ray Lewis are Hall of Famers, but not this year. Sorry Ravens, you know Indy is Bond and if you recall the beginning of “Casino Royale” when the mole asks Bond “How did my informant die?” do you remember what Bond says? “Not…well.” IND – 38 BAL – 3

Arizona @ St. Louis: The Rams suck. Period. The End. ARI – 27 STL – 0

Jets @ New England: If Rex Ryan thinks he can cry like Dick Vermeil, let it leak to the media and then beat the Patriots he’s got another thing coming. {Remember, Bond laughed when LeChiffre was busting his balls and LeChiffre ended up dead.} I don’t think Rex Ryan is that cunning. NE – 18 NYJ – 13

Cincinnati @ Oakland: Oakland sucks. Period. The End. (Yes, I can use that twice in column. Yes, I can.) CIN – 31 OAK – 7

San Diego @ Denver: Denver’s pissed because they got knocked off their high-horse and Norv Turner still coaches the Chargers. When are we going to stop trusting Norv and start trusting Joshie? DEN – 17 SD – 0

Philadelphia @ Chicago: Jay Cutler vs. Donovan McNabb is not a good matchup for the Bears. Combine that with Lovie being on the hot seat, Andy Reid getting blamed for some stuff in Philly, a fire (Kevin Kolb) under Donovan’s rear, and Jay Cutler being the new Ryan Leaf and you’ve got a blowout on your hands. PHI – 41 CHI – 7 (BTW – that Chicago TD will be defensive and accidental.)

Tennessee @ Houston: Two teams that are pretty hot at the same time in the same division is a good matchup. But we know that the Titans have little to play for since they lost it all at the beginning of the season with their terrible start. The Texans have some kind of hope left. Now, the question is whether that drives the Texans or not. I say it drives them, but not as fast as this new Vince Young we’re seeing handing the ball off to Chris Johnson. TEN – 27 HOU – 24

Di di di di, that’s all folks! Come visit the General on Monday to wrap up all the action from the weekend in sports and catch a fun conversation about how desperately I want to see Florida play TCU for the Title.

Apparently, Michael Turner is out and Jason Snelling is the new option coming out of the backfield and the Falcons are losing 21-10.  I think it is safe to say that no one would have picked the Panthers to beat the Falcons today, but why?  Why am I so down on the Panthers when the Falcons have franchise history that indicates they can improve on 5-3 after they had a winning season last year (in case you didn’t know the Falcons have NEVER had back-to-back winning seasons.)

Essentially, what I did was totally discount Julius Peppers (who obviously doesn’t want to be in Carolina, but is still a great player), then I discounted the Carolina run game, and I (rightly) discounted Jake Delhomme.  I’m not sure why, but I figured that someone in this division is always down one year after being up and they haven’t had the same team win this division in consecutive seasons since the Depression so I figured it was safe to say Carolina sucked after they started off sucking.  Probably not very smart of me, huh?

Now, the Falcons have run right down the field and though they failed to put one in the end zone they walked away with a field goal.  This is not anything like what the Falcons were showing in the 1st Half and though that is good and they could win this game and move to 6-3 we have to ask ourselves…can you lose future games in the 1st Half?

Think about it.  Let’s say you’re the Steelers (who are tied with the Bengals 9-9 right now) and you rely so much on the run (granted they pass much more in the Steel City than they ever have) but you rely heavily on the run.  If you spend the entire 1st Half figuring out what to do while trailing or staying tied with your opponent and you don’t make any adjustments til the 2nd Half you have just told your next opponent how to beat you and you “lost your next game in the 1st Half of your current game.”  All your next opponent has to do is exactly what they saw happen to you in the 1st Half of this week’s game and they’ll know exactly how to mess with you.  If you keep it up and continually spend the 1st Half of every game “getting your bearings” then you’ll either lose every game in the 1st Half or you’ll be so far behind that if you do catch up (or even win) you’ll be so gassed by the end of the game that you’ll feel like you need an extra day-off the next week.

This is what’s happening to the Falcons.  They just let the Panthers come down the field and into their territory to about the 35.  They stopped them on a stupid “over the top” pass from Delhomme where he clearly had miscommunicated with Steve Smith and then they capped off the defensive stand by blocking the field goal attempt by the Panthers.  I’ll bet you anything that the Falcons comeback and win this game, but not without having to struggle in the 2nd Half to get it done.  Is this why they’ve never had back-to-back winning seasons?  They can’t keep it close enough to the vest in year #2 to prevent teams from just doing all the things they SHOULD HAVE done the year before?  I think I might have figured it out!

If you’re the Bengals you’re in the same predicament.  Remember when the Bengals went 8-8 in 2004 and then 11-5 in 2005 and made the playoffs and everyone was just floored at how well they played?  Do you know what their records were after that?

2006 – 8-8

2007 – 7-9

2008 – 4-11-1

That’s a steady decline over the past 3 seasons after making the playoffs.  They couldn’t do anything other than what they did in 2005 and so every other team in the league slowly figured out what they were doing.  It wasn’t until this season (2009) that they changed everything up and started beating people up like they were in 2005.  Is this a coincidence?  I think not!

What about a team like the Colts or the Patriots?  How come they can be consistently good year after year?  Well, if you think about it they are constantly in the process of tweaking their team, trying to get better, and adding things to their offense and defense.  Look at how the Colts won a Super Bowl a few years ago.  They spent years outscoring everyone, but not having a great defense.  Over the course of a few years they made key drafts and pick-ups in the defense that put Dwight Freeney and Bob Sanders at the helm of a very good defense that helped bring a Championship to Indianapolis.  Oh, and in the meantime they went from “Peyton Manning to Marvin Harrison” to “Manning to Harrison and Reggie Wayne” to “Manning to Harrison and Wayne and Dallas Clark” and so on and so on.  Basically, these teams celebrate accomplishments for like 5 seconds after they happen and then they move on.  Ever wonder why the NFC South has a new division winner every season?  Because the teams in this division celebrate too much AND they’re lazy.

Their laziness is showcased in the fact that they can’t succeed from season to season.

Now, you can talk to me all day long about how these guys aren’t lazy and blah, blah, blah, but let’s face it.  People who make that much money tend to be more lazy than proactive and that’s why there are only a few stalwart teams in the entirety of professional sports.

That’s pretty much it.  Those are the only really stable franchises in sports.  If we wanted to name all of the really crappy teams in pro sports it would be alot easier…wouldn’t it?  Go ahead, take a minute to name them to yourself. … … … … … … … … …

See how easy that was?

Now, how do we remedy these problems in out cities when we get tired of seeing a great season, being super-pumped for the next one, and then being massively disappointed the next season and having to wait a few years for another good season?  It’s pretty simple…save your money!  If your team drives you THAT crazy you need to stop going to games so your beloved franchise will learn that they have to put something better on the field.  Since sports is all about money, the second their wallets start hurting the owners in the league will start listening (except for Jerry Jones…he’s just stupid…oh, and Al Davis, but he has Alzheimer’s or something so you can’t really blame him.)  However, think about how long it took the faithful in Detroit to get Matt Millen fired.  I mean, it took them years to get this done and they’re by far the best fans in sports.  So, if you’re thinking about speaking with your wallet or with a picket-line get started now before it’s too late!

{You ever wonder if Al Davis is actually being controlled by his evil nurse that takes care of him at home and she’s really in charge.  The only excuse for the Raiders being this bad is that Al Davis’ evil nurse’s brother was killed in a “Raider Nation” riot and she’ll do anything to get back at Al and the “Raider Nation” so she’s screwing up the team one year at a time until she gets caught.  Come on, you know this isn’t too far-fetched…)

Back to the Game…

The Falcons ran down the field and scored a TD on 4th Down, missed on a 2-point conversion, stopped the Panthers, missed a field goal attempt, stopped the Panthers again, then just threw an INT to the Panthers.  (Do we see my “lazy ass professional sports theory” at work?  They’re trying to do the exact same crap they surprised everyone with last season and it’s backfiring.  If it weren’t for some incredible tackling by the Falcons defense this game might already be over because DeAngelo Williams almost ran one to the house.

Then Johnathan Stewart just ran one to the house and with about 2 minute left the Falcons are going to be down 9 points and in an insurmountable hole.  From where I’m standing this pretty much solidified my “lazy ass professional sports theory”.  So, if I begin a column with a question I have to answer that question by the end of the column…

“How do you solve a problem like the Falcons?”

Tell the Falcons to stop being lazy!  {and the Bengals, and the Titans, and the Eagles, and the Seahawks, and the Redskins, and the…)

BTW – The Falcons lost the game just now and I tell you that I can bring up this “laziness theory” up every week and apply to another inconsistent team and you won’t be able to argue with it.  Do you think I should get Diddy to sponsor my theory?  I mean, really, he’s got a better name for it anyways…he calls it “bitchassness”.

Check out another side to the NFL madness after the jump!…

So, the Patriots went for it on 4th Down deep in their own end, didn’t make it, gave the ball back to the Colts who summarily scored and won the game.  Now, let me ask you something, do you believe Bill Belichick when he says that that was his team’s best chance to win?  Really?  Explain to me how that makes sense?  You figure the 4th Down Conversion percentage isn’t that good (especially since most people don’t go for it all that often.)  Well, some supercomputer figured out that the chance of the Patriots winning the game was like 77% going for it and 75% punting it.  Ok, since the Patriots cheat (and they’re an NFL team) they have endless resources.  You know that SOMEONE knew the odds and was responsible for reporting that to Bill Belichick (which they do every time because if they don’t they are probably guillotined.)  So, someone tells Coach the odds and he disregards them thinking that the 2% isn’t worth it.  Well, it is when you’re talking about the psyche of your team.

Now the defense thinks you don’t trust them.  How many times have coaches just said “Oh hell, just the punt the ball and we’ll stop ‘em!”?  It happens all the time and why wouldn’t you just go for it?  Was he inspired to go for it after watching Georgia Tech beat Wake Forest in a similar fashion?  Nope, he probably doesn’t have time to watch College Football and even if he heard about it he wouldn’t have seen it and probably not wanted to try to recreate something he didn’t see.  Nope, that’s not it.  He straight up does NOT believe his defense can do it.  Period.  Point blank.

The funniest part of this was that they have Tedy Bruschi on the ESPN “Countdown” broadcasts now and I saw Tedy Brushci say on Monday [approximately] “You’re missing guys like Harrison, Seymour, and Bruschi who have made big plays in these situations before and maybe you don’t feel comfortable with what you have but you have to give these new guys a chance to succeed.”

Ok, I agree with Tedy.  You have to throw these guys out there and say “Do it or die!” What troubles me is the names he mentioned.  Not Harrison or Seymour.  Nope, he mentioned himself.  He didn’t even say “me” he said his last name like he was just non-chalantly making a list of guys off the top of his head.  Now, I know Tedy Bruschi was clutch a couple times, but are your serious?

Who has the audacity to flaunt his own accomplishments on national TV when he’s talking about how his old team just lost a game because, basically, he wasn’t on the field.  What a jerk!  {Yet another reason for me to hate the Patriots AND not respect them.}

Then we have the realization that not only did Dick Jauron get fired in Buffalo, but that Doofgini might be next.  Listen, if they fire your buddy you brought over to be your “rubber stamp man” then you figure you’re probably next.  However, as stupid as I think Doofgini is, how can the Browns be dumb enough to pay this guy to go away so they can say, in essence, “We screwed up!”?  Then you have to ask yourself…who wants that job now?  The Browns are just another place like the Raiders where this may be your only chance to get a Head Coaching job and so you take but you know you’re going to hate it so you spend the whole time waiting to fired (or hoping to get fired.)  How frikkin’ depressing is that?  Wouldn’t it be much more enjoyable to go somewhere where you WANT to work?  I guess the funniest part about the Browns is Jon Gruden jacking on the Ravens on Monday Night about how “if they wore their throwback jerseys they’d be the Browns.”  Come on, that’s funny!

With that, I rest my case… (until Friday when you can get more from the General!)

Then the NFL comes in and screws up my good picking run.  The Giants lose again.  The 49ers lost to the Titans (dammit!!!!)  Miami laid an egg against the Patriots (although I’m sure Tom Brady’s rules had something to do with that.)  Then, Green Bay goes out and loses to effing Tampa!  TAMPA!  They lost to the creamsicle uniforms people.  Do we all realize that that creamsicle uniform embodies all that is wrong with professional sports?  The way NOT to run a franchise.  The main reason why the Bucs winning the Super Bowl seemed like a sheer impossibility and that if it did happen the end was near!  They might has well have worn sackclothes and banged themselves on the heads with rocks.  The creamsicle uniform MAKES you play bad, and the Packers (who I also lauded) go out and lose to that pile of crap.  Are you kidding me?

Then, there were some things that were expected and not at all surprising.  The Falcons beat the Redskins.  DeAngelo Hall got in the middle of a skirmish by running his mouth and not just playing the damn game.  Because of his stupid yap Falcons coach Mike Smith ended up getting in the middle of a potential brawl because Hall probably ACTUALLY instigated the whole thing.

Let me ask you a question.  Do you think D. Hall wants to be a good player and win games, or do you think he wants to be famous?  For the record, I say famous and that blowhard is getting no more of my time.

THEN, the Cowboys go and beat the Iggles.  WTF!?!?!?!  I wrote this really great allegory where I made McNabb and Romo into “Starsky and Hutch” and then I basically said that Romo was going to take a bullet between the eyes in an alley gunfight and then the Cowboys beat the Eagles and Romo looks like freakin’ Roger Staubach!  How in the hell does this happen?  How in the hell can the Eagles not get it together after I do that great piece of writing!?  Really?!  UGH!  It’s like this, I might have underestimated the Cowboys, but they need to decide when they’re a Wade Phillips team and when they aren’t.  When they are going to suck.  When they’re not (OOOOORRR, Jerry Jones reads my column and put the “interim” tag on Phillips and didn’t tell us…hmmmmmmmm) they’re great like they were yesterday.  I don’t get it.  I totally don’t get it.

The Texans looked great, like I thought they would, but they couldn’t close out the Colts.  This shouldn’t be surprising since Peyton’s won a Super Bowl and Matt Schaub played at Virginia.  {This is the part where I say “DUH!” to myself.}

The Bears sucked and Lovie Smith might lose his job sooner than later.  Once again, I’m not going to advocate for someone’s firing unless I think they’re breaking the law or TOTALLY ill-equipped, but I talk about the reality of leagues in this column and I say to you that the reality is that the Bears have a better Quarterback than Rex Grossman (how much better is for you to decide) and they aren’t going to the Super Bowl.  Do you really think Lovie can keep his job given the climate of the league and those facts?

The Ravens got stomped by the Bengals and I called that one, but I want to point out again why it isn’t surprising.  Even though the Bengals have a loudmouth (Chad Stupidhead) he doesn’t run the team.  Even though the Ravens have killers all over the field, they don’t have the head coaching (right now) to push through.  This is where John Harbaugh grows up.  This time next year the Ravens win that game because they HAVE TO.  This year he can only squeeze so much out of them.  You can go on about how last year they did so much better and blah, blah, but the league wasn’t then what it is now.  Last year all the crap teams were right out there with their crappiness.  This year you can’t tell and because so many teams are unpredictable the coaching has to be better.  This is why I’m not going to blame the Ravens woes on a Joe Flacco “Sophomore Slump”.  The real problem is that John Harbaugh isn’t there as a coach yet, but he is learning right now.  Next year, look for this team to win games like this in a crunch and for the AFC Central to become the deepest division in the history of pro sports (yes the other 3 teams can buoy even the sucky Browns.)

On the other hand Marvin Lewis is the calmest and most stable coach in the league.  I don’t mean he has the most stable job (that goes to Mike Tomlin) but he is the most stable person.  If you told Marvin Lewis that his balls were going to fall off tomorrow he’d say “Ok, we’ll take care of that tomorrow then.”  That’s it.  That’s all.  {Just imagine me throwing my hands up in the air right now.  That’s all there is to say.}  Yes, the Bengals have sucked the last few years, but you know what keep them from going into a total quagmire?  Marvin Lewis.  Continuity.  Consistency.  His personality.  Nothing else.  He just rolled with the punches until things turned around and now they have.  Marvin Lewis is the man.  He may not have a million winning seasons in his (what I would expect to be very long) career, but he won’t jump out of a sinking ship either.  Marvin Lewis just spent the last few years learning to be what John Harbaugh is learning to be right now.  The edge goes to Marvin.  And in a fight with the Steelers Marvin Lewis is just as equipped to deal with Mike Tomlin as Mike Tomlin is ready to deal with Marvin Lewis.  If you asked Mike Tomlin about that he would agree.  He ain’t stupid.

Now, with all of that done I have to wonder how the Monday Night Game will turn out.  Pittsburgh and Denver.  Proven coaching (Tomlin) against obviously-good-yet-unproven coaching (McDaniels) and you’re telling me I actually made a pick on this game!?!?!  Who did I pick anyways?)  (Pittsburgh actually, it’s 6 hours since I wrote the previous sentence and I had to look it up.  I’m that topsy-turvy over the weekend! ) Does it matter?  Whatever I did it’ll get screwed up faster than asking for no MSG at a Chinese Restaurant.  Ahhhh, forget it.  I’ll eat my crow on Wednesday…

So then, I get up this morning, drive to work, turn on my computer and I see the storyline:  Chefs release Larry Johnson.  Can we say “I think that petition worked?”  I mean, they sat down with his agent and worked out a deal for his suspension so he would lose and they must have felt so overwhelmed by how much K.C. hates this guy that they just cut him.  Damn!  They gave like $19 million in guaranteed money after they gave him that contract extension and now it all comes due because the people in K.C. don’t like him.  Wow!  This will either make Clark Hunt (the later Lamar Hunt’s son) look like a genius or a doofus.  Matt Cassel is either going to be rattled by this or spurned into being a new player.

Maybe my attention was focused on the wrong guy on the Chefs.  Maybe the whole time that I’m been crapping on Cassel LJ was the problem?  We’ll see, but Matt Cassel isn’t getting an apology yet…he may well still suck.

Before I move back to college for a minute I just want to bring up something interesting that I saw yesterday that I think is worth pointing out:

Mike Vick did an interview with Bob Costas where he said that the ideal situation for him in Philly is some into the game in garbage time during a blowout and lead an 80-yard scoring drive (probably against the opponent’s 2nd and 3rd stringers on defense.)  Really Mike, that’s your ideal situation?  Ok, your expectations are too low, or you finally figured out you are NOT cut out to be an NFL QB.  Perhaps Mike finally started to notice that all the “sucky” receivers he had in Atlanta don’t suck anymore because an actual passer is throwing them the ball.  Yes, I will tell you how I really feel. Mike Vick is NOT a QB.  He’s Reggie Bush but suited better for the NFL.  Period.  End of story.  If Reggie Bush and Mike Vick traded places right now Mike Vick would lead the league in all-purpose yards.  I guaranfreakin’tee you.

TCU is #4 in the latest BCS Standings and that is highest any non-BCS conference team has EVER been in the BCS before.  Now, I know I said that the Horned Frogs could beat Jesus’ team and they wouldn’t get a whiff of the title game, but we need to reconsider.  Apparently, if they’re #4 and everybody wins out they stay #4.  Either Florida or Bama is GOING to lose the SEC Title.  Now only Texas stands in the way of TCU.  If Texas loses at any point between now and the end of the season TCU WILL be in the Title Game (providing they don’t lose themselves.)  Now it’s really the “Battle of Texas” to see who gets a shot at either Florida or Bama for the National title.  It’s that simple.  A thousand things could happen at the bottom (and probably will) but everyone wins out it’s between Texas and TCU.  {This is like in “No Country For Old Men” when Tommy Lee Jones is talking to his buddy and he says:

“Signs and wonders. But I think once you stop hearin’ sir and madam the rest is soon to follow.”

Well…

Once you put a non-BCS team in the Top 4 the rest is soon to follow…

The “formula” put TCU in the top 4 and now the smokes are getting hit harder than they ever were before.  Not only do we have 2 undefeated non-BCS clubs, but we have a 3rd unbeaten from a crappy BCS conference and a non-BCS school is in the Top 4.  {Which also means that was have thousand of college administrators sweating through their over-priced suits while they wonder what they can do to keep TCU from a)  stealing their money and b)  stealing their headlines which will c)  steal money from them because that’s what college football is all about anyways.) It’s only a matter of time before someone breaks through.  It may not be this year (because TCU can still lose at some point) but it’s coming.  If you thought Utah being ranked 6th was a breakthrough that’s nothing compared to this.  NOTHING.  If I were Gary Patterson I’d write Mack Brown a nice little note that went something like this…

Hi Mack,

We’re coming and you can’t stop us.  We don’t play you but we should.  You’re going down and you know it.  I took this piddly little Christian school to the edge of the Jordan and I’m about to hook the Horns myself.  I’m coming.  You don’t want me Mack, you don’t.  You can’t handle the truth. I plan to fully enjoy the blanket of freedom that Texas football created for me and then fully question the way in which you provided it by taking your spotlight and forcing you to retire.  This is a kids game baby and you’re no spring chicken.  Like I said…you don’t want this.

You know what?  Deep down inside Mack Brown knows this and he is so freaked out at the prospect of losing a game and putting TCU into the Title Game that he probably can’t stand it.  Texas closes out with Baylor, Kansas, A&M, and the Big 12 Championship Game.  TCU closes with Utah, Wyoming and New Mexico.  You can do the math there.

If Texas does end up losing [and it COULD happen with that schedule] (and losing out on a shot at another title) then Will Muschamp needs to bring his stuff over to Coach Brown’s office because it won’t be Coach Brown’s office much longer.  Brown will retire…mark my words, he’ll retire.

Tune in Wednesday for more from The General…