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Am I Loving This Game Yet?

Take a look at how the league is structured now and you’d think you were in “The Twilight Zone”.  I know we’re only 8 or so games into the season but there are some troubling trends that need to be discussed because if they continue we’re all going to be wallowing in our tears as we are proven wrong over and over and forced to watch teams that we all hate.

The Milwaukee Bucks currently stand in 6th in the Eastern Conference and I’m not sure whether I should cry or start drinking heavily.  Listen, this is the kind of franchise you write-off and never look back on.  When George Karl left and they fell off the face of the planet and then starting making bad trade after bad trade I just sort of let them go and forgot that they were in the NBA…it’s easier that way really.  I don’t have to think about much when I’m not even considering the idea that the Bucks exist.  I mean, they’re in Milwaukee and the only thing they have in Milwaukee is beer and a train to Chicago (and I don’t drink beer) so really what do they have that is of any real value?  I mean, I can get a train from Atlanta to Chicago and since I don’t like beer (or the Brewers) then why would I even want to KNOW that the Bucks still exist?  Granted, they’re only 4-2, but things could be a lot worse and they aren’t.  Either the Bucks turned a corner or they’ve been allowed to only play the Knicks, Nets, and Wizards so far this season.  (If the latter is true then they need to keep that arrangement with David Stern because it appears to be working since the Knicks, Nets and Wizards are a combined 3-22.)

Detroit, Toronto, and the Sixers are all basically tied for 7th in the East at 4-4.  If you’re Joe Dumars you’re really pissed that you’re only 4-4 since you made the “Double UCONN Behind-the-Back Acquisition” that threw everybody for a loop because you overpaid for two college teammates who combine to make a decent bench-player/dude-who-flamed-out-in-the-playoffs-last-year-and-his-old-team-let-him-go-when-they-realized-they-wanted-Joakim Noah-more.  Yeah, all of that got you a lighter wallet and a .500 record.  I think ole Joe was hoping for more.  (Personally, they aren’t going to be able to keep this up.)

Chicago and the Pacers are also in this “tie for 7th” in the East, but I wanted to list them separately because they have altogether different issues and circumstances.  The Pacers are an all-white club so I’m renaming them the “Augusta National Pacers” and the “Baby Bulls” are all-grown-up since they came within a breath of beating the Celtics in the playoffs last year.  (Really, the only thing that stopped them was one of the sickest shooting streaks any payer has ever been on that was turned in by Ray Allen.  I HATE the Celtics, but I had to admit that he was looking nearly perfect shooting from every conceivable angle.  Had I had this column then I would have deemed that Series the best first-round Series ever-played in any sport and most certainly one of the top10 in history.  [I guess I just did )]

Anyways, the Augusta National Pacers are at .500 and I would consider that highly respectable for a team that banked a 1st Round pick (when there are only 2 rounds) on Tyler Hansbrough (a kid I have been ishing on for the last decade it seems) and it appears I may need to back off on Hansbrough a little.  If nothing else he is a “high-energy guy” who affects the way his team plays in a positive way and you know what, that’s something the Pacers needed in the most desperate way.

The only team that got “left out” in this discussion is the Bobcats.  Listen, I said this about the Hornets and I’ll say it about the Bobcats.  You could move this team, burn it, sell it, frame it, cast it in bronze, it doesn’t matter:  nobody cares.  You can go on and on about how Larry Brown is a great coach and his teams play “the right way” blah, blah, blah, but at the end of the day nobody cares.  Listen, great bands can come out of a hole in the wall…I show you…

Fuel, is a progressive rock band that hit it big with “Hemorrhage” in 2001 and since then they’ve recorded basically the title track for the movie “Daredevil” made some money and spawned a whole community of fans.  In fact, they’re my favorite band ever.  I don’t know, their music just really gets me (yes, I’m kind of a sap even though their music isn’t sappy.)  Well, do you know where the band is “originally” from?  Harrisburg, PA.  Yeah, not even Wilkes-Barre or Scranton or some place people might actually care about, but Harrisburg.  That success story came out of a hole-in-the-wall, and I’m proud of them.

The Charlotte Bobcats are in sports hell.  They’re in North Carolina…a place where Duke and UNC basketball reigns, they already let an NBA franchise skip town (The Hornets, who are consequently just as worthless in New Orleans), and they don’t even like football that much in North Carolina.  I mean, name me a good football team from North Carolina… … … … Elon College?  Appalachian State? (The last time I was in Boone, NC I ran into a drunk guy at 10 a.m. who was wearing a rainbow afro wig.  Yeah, that’s classy.  So, there’s nothing in the big NC sports-wise that anybody gives two ishes about besides Duke and UNC Basketball.  That is sports hell.  Two schools that are harder to get into that the “Russian Tea Room” are more popular than an NBA or an NFL franchise.  So, you can see why I initially “skipped” them.

In the West my Lakers are tied atop the conference with the Suns (sans Shaq.)

{Can we just put this thing to bed right now?  This is the what number team Shaq has left on less-than-impressive terms?  4.  He pissed off the Magic (to come to LA and win us 3 titles in a row [which I am thankful for but that doesn’t mean he’s not a bitch] and then he screwed with the Lakers, then the Heat, and then Suns decided they could do without.  Yeah, that’s classy *rolling my eyes as I write this*  Let’s face it.  When Shaq left LA Kobe was the guy saying “Are you kidding me?  This dude is a lunatic!!!!”  Mitch Kupchak and Phil Jackson sat in Dr. Buss’ office and went “You know, Kobe’s right…Shaq is a maniac.”  So, can we stop ishing on Kobe for “being the bad guy” when he clearly was not?}

The Suns are playing well under Alvin Gentry and I couldn’t be happier for them (not happy enough to let them win a playoff series, but you know, happy in a “I wish you nothing but bad luck” kind of way.)  The question is this:  Is Steve Nash truly an MVP or was Mike D’Antoni that much of a genius and so much “the right person at the right time” that he made Steve Nash look better than he really was?  We’re going to find out this season because if Steve Nash doesn’t come through in a big way his entire career will be defined by NOT being clutch.

Dallas, Portland, Houston, Sacramento, San Antonio, and Oklahoma City are all in a scrum behind the leaders.  If you’re Dallas or Portland you expect to be here.  You’ve got a good team, good talent, and good momentum from last year and the offseason.  If you’re Sacramento you’re wondering what the hell happened to get you anywhere near these teams at any point in the season.  If you’re OKC you’re wondering if you died and went to heaven since everybody hates you now and no one really wants to believe in Kevin Durant even though he is clearly one of biggest talents in the whole league.  Oh, and if you’re San Antonio you’re wondering why everyone didn’t lie down for you when you picked up Richard Jefferson.  {News Flash San Anton folks…we don’t buy your ish anymore!  We haven’t bought it since you won the Title in ‘07 and we CERTAINLY don’t buy it now.}

After that you have Utah and New Orleans.  Now, if you’re CP3 your ass is so out of New Orleans when your contract expires.  SO GONE!  I can’t blame him.  He plays for a team that could burn to the ground tomorrow and the residents of New Orleans would be chanting “Go Saints!”  Nobody cares about basketball in New Orleans and that’s ok, but let’s stop trying to pretend like this kid can fix it.  That’s a stupid idea.  Just because he is a transcendent point guard in the history of the NBA doesn’t mean he can make a football city care about basketball.  He needs to go somewhere where he can so real good like New York or Houston.  Maybe he could go to OKC and they would have someone to feed KD the ball and someone to share responsibility with?  Imagine the Thunder with Kevin Durant CP3…that’s scary (even for a Lakers fan who can do without Pau Sasol until Christmas because Phil Jackson zincified my mind by acting like it no big deal that Gasol’s leg isn’t healing properly and they have friggin’ idea why.)

In Utah Deron Williams is having a bad season.  Oh well.  Everybody has them…even John Stockton.  Personally, I’m not concerned and I think he should spend his whole career in the Rockies.  After a couple more years there won’t be any Carlos boozer and they can draft some heavy in the Top 5 and start all over with Williams being the seasoned vet teaching the young guy the back-door cut and it’ll be all good.

Then you have the Clippers, Grizzlies, Warriors and T’wolves…all I can say is, who cares?  I know I don’t.

So, to answer my own question…yeah, I’m enjoying myself.  I’m not pleased that the Cavs/Magic East Finals rematch was a total dud, but you can’t win them all, can you?  At some point during this season we’re going to see some separation between the men and boys.  How long will this take to happen?  Probably not a super-long time, but one of the teams that is unexpectedly near the top will stay there longer than expected.  The Hawks did it a couple years ago and then they nearly spoiled the Celtics title run by almost beating them in the 1st Round.  Another Atlanta will emerge this season and sort of hang out in the Top 4 of their respective conference for the next few years and we’ll slowly come to accept their relative goodness even though we don’t understand where it comes from.  We do this all the time in sports and never talk about it.  So, who’s going to be the “unexpectedly good team who hangs around for a while”?

For my money I’d have to take the Thunder.  Not because I like them or anything, but just because they have Kevin Durant, the whole “nobody believes in us thing”, and they are in a city that wants them as much as Seattle did.  That helps when people are coming to the games.

Just to add to the Basketball mayhem a little:  I’m watching the Friday Night Hawks Celtics game and we’re about halfway done with the 3rd Quarter and the Hawks keep answering the Celts.  More than that, the Celts look like old men again.  I just watched the following confluence of events:

The Celtics run a pick for Paul Pierce who barely makes it around and scores (while this is all happening KG is standing at the top of the key and not moving.  He’s just standing there.  He can’t move!!!!  Like, he doesn’t have the cartilage to move around anymore.  Then, after the Hawks run right back down the floor and Mike Bibby answers with his 2nd 3 in about 30 seconds of game time I look over after Doc Rivers calls a timeout and Paul Pierce is bent over with his hands on his knees sucking wind like he’s Maynard Ferguson in the middle of a show where he’s only played 3 notes in 2 hours.  Yes, THAT Paul Pierce.  Sucking wind like an 80 year old man.

I know that at this point the Celts are winning 58-56, but that doesn’t mean anything.  They can play a tight game because they have Kendrick Perkins on the floor with Rondo and they’re playing one of the most inconsistent teams in the history of the NBA.  You see, KG just took 2 free throws and when he pulled back after he made the 2nd shot he backpedaled in a straight line because he cannot move laterally.  This fact is the reason why it is now 60-60 because he can’t OVER to someone fast enough to save the “touchdown pass” down the floor or to allow the defense to make it over to Joe Johnson to prevent him from making the 3 he just drilled.  Nor can he come in to help on defense when Jamal Crawford is putting a runner up over Paul Pierce.  Now the Hawks are on a 9-2 run.  I could write this out for the rest of the game but I think you get the idea.  One day I will expose the Celtics by writing free-form for an entire game where, whether they win or lose, they will look old.  They can win regular season games, but they are like the villain in “The World is Not Enough”.  He couldn’t feel anything and eventually one day the bullet that was in his head was going to kill him.  Well, the Celtics can’t feel anything, they’re funneling their offense through Ray Allen throwing up jumpers and Kendrick Perkins, and eventually that’s going to kill them.  I don’t think we’re going to have to wait for the playoffs.  This team is in free-fall and they don’t even realize it.  They need to get younger and NOW.  The whole “Three Amigos” thing was cute, but it is dying right before our eyes and we’re not seeing it because they can stay in games.
Now it’s 69-64 Hawks and Doc has put Eddie House in but I’m not sure if it’s to shoot or to make a fuss.  Daniels dribbles the ball off his foot and coming back on the other end the Celtics give a stupid foul to the Josh Smith on an easy lay-up.  Apparently, Paul Pierce has a bruised knee and I’m not buying.  He’s sucking wind and they need an excuse to give him a rest.  Plus, I’ve got to listen to Hubie Brown (who I like) yap about how the Hawks are “murdering” the Celtics on the glass.  Well, why the hell do you think that is?  Because the Hawks are younger than the Celts.  Old teams lose the rebound battle every time.  Scoring can be done in a number of ways, but rebounding is only done through intense and youthful exuberance.  Period.  It’s then end of the 3rd Quarter and I think you get the idea.

I promise to write through an entire Celtics game before the end of the season so we can see how old this team actually is.  It must be done (and not because I’m a Lakers fan, but because I’m not blind…)

Check my NFL picks after the jump…I’ve made a comeback!

I am currently 85-42 counting my win with San Francisco besting Chicago on Thursday night.  So, here goes.

Detroit @ Minnesota: First, I just have to say that I think it’s hilarious that the Mall of America is so big that it can be the naming sponsor of an NFL team’s stadium.  I mean, a mall!?  I know it’s the 2nd biggest mall on the planet (I believe the West Edmonton Mall up in the Great White North is like twice as big), but dang…it’s a mall people!

Anyhow, Detroit has Gunther Cunningham and Minnesota counters with Brett Favre and Adrian Peterson.  Yeah, that wasn’t hard.  MIN – 41   DET – 6

Tampa Bay @ Miami: I know that Tampa got lucky and won last week…yeah, not this time.  Explain to me how they will combat the “wildcat” (even if the wildcat has lost it’s luster.)  They can’t.  They still suck and they lucked into a win.  I ain’t picking them for nothing!   MIA – 21   TB – 0

Buffalo @ Tennessee: Vince is looking better and the Bills have T.O. and a damaged Trent Edwards.  You see, you know you’re pretty much unappreciated when you get a little hurt and the Michael Vick rumors start swirling around your team when you are clearly a better quarterback than he is.  Yes, I said it.  Trent Edwards is a better Quarterback than Mike Vick.  If the Bills want Vick that’s fine, but it won’t solve their problems.  Plus, Tony Dungy spilling the beans on national TV isn’t really helping anything.  I liked Coach Dungy until he pulled that “I’m gonna scoop everyone because I’m Mike Vick’s personal advisor and I work for NBC crap”.  Next time, shut your mouth Tony.  For real.  As for the Titans, it seems they can go on a run.  Now this doesn’t excuse the revelation that Jeff Fisher has only had 6 winning seasons out of 16, but this is still a team with heart and they can pull through against a team that can’t get out of its own way.   TEN – 20   BUF – 7

New Orleans @ St. Louis: Why bother?  NO – 41   STL – 6

Jacksonville @ Jets: For those of you who thought the Jags could go on the same kind of run the Titans are trying to go on your need to think again.  An entire division cannot be good.  The Texans are playing pretty well, the Colts are the class of the league along with the Saints, and the Titans are poised to at least salvage a horrid season.  The 4th team in the division is doomed to failure.  It’s never going to happen.  If I admit that the Jags can go on a run I’m also admitting that somehow I think 3 teams might be able to make the playoffs out of this division and that isn’t going to happen.  I’ve considered such things in the past I’ve concluded that this scenario will only play out in the NFC East or the AFC East.  However, for that to happen every team in that division will have to have a pretty good (but not stellar) record and every other division in the league will have to be down at the same time (this allows for the even number of division wins and losses and enough mediocre teams throughout the league to provide these teams with enough wins to get 3 teams in the playoffs.)  You see how implausible that is?                                               Given that…NYJ – 21   JAC – 9

Denver @ Washington: In the 80’s or 90’s this would have a marquee matchup every time.  Unfortunately, Jack Kent Cook doesn’t own the Redskins anymore.  That is really the shame of this whole thing.  I asked my Dad once what was right with the Redskins and he said “Jack Kent Cook and Joe Gibbs”.  Right now, they have neither of those things going for them.  It’s sad really.  They suck.  They’re coaching staff sucks.  All the players sucks.  Plus, I’ve already refused to pick them.   DEN – 24   WAS – 0

Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh: These two teams almost entered into a 3-way debate about how a division could put 3 teams in the playoffs.  Then, I realized that if the Bengals were gonna be good either the Ravens or Steelers were going to have to take a dive.  right now the Ravens are diving and the Steelers are soaring.

What is it about the Bengals besides Marvin Lewis?  Nothing really.  He’s pretty much it.  The Steelers are the same way.  Mike Tomlin makes SO much of a difference that it’s scary.  So, this is a coaching matchup.  I know for a fact that they won’t tie so I’m going with the hot team and going with my gut at the same time.  CIN – 24   PIT – 21

Atlanta @ Carolina: I know I said something pretty strong about the Falcons in my Power Rankings where I basically said they were 39 because no one else could be, but that doesn’t mean they suck…it just means they should’ve been a little lower.  Give that they’re playing the Panthers…who actually suck.  Remember that whole North Carolina sports conversation from earlier in this column?  It still applies.  ATL – 30   CAR – 13

Kansas City @ Oakland: Let’s keep it real.  This is “The Case of the Bad #1 vs. the Bad Trade”.  Matt Cassel and JaMarcus Russell are so disappointing that at this point I wouldn’t even so much as consider this game if I wasn’t picking all the games.  I mean, really, who cares what either one of these teams does?  Do we see why Tony Gonzalez wanted out of KC and pronto?  Do we see why I keep making fun of Al Davis for talking to people who aren’t there?  I mean, you can’t make this stuff up!  KC – 2   OAK – 0

Dallas @ Green Bay: Ok, so Tony Romo and Aaron Rodgers walk down a dark alley and….

Nevermind.  We all know in this pairing that Aaron Rodgers takes a bullet between the eyes.  I was liking him, but he just isn’t holding this team together and that is his job.  He’s the man in Green Bay.

Look at Matt Ryan in Atlanta.  He gets on one knee and looks up at this team when he calls plays and NOBODY MOVES.  He’s in total control.  They could put him out on the field on defense and he could do the exact same thing and I bet the opposing offense would wait for him to make the play call.  He’s got that much respect coming his way.  Aaron Rodgers…not so much.   DAL – 27   GB- 14

Seattle @ Arizona: Kurt Warner could play this game on his knees and he’s still throw for 400 yards.   ARI – 35   SEA – 10

Philly @ San Diego: A team I was buying against a team I never bought.  Listen, we still have to reconcile the whole “nobody in Philly ever wanted Donovan to begin with” thing and consider how that affects the play of this team.  With Westbrook perpetually hurt and Brian Dawkins in Denver I have to ask some hard questions.  When I put Donovan and Tony in that alley last week and Donovan ended up getting shot I was surprised, but now I’m seeing the problem.  Mike Vick said his ideal situation in Philly was running an 80 yard drive in garbage time.  The expectations have changed in Philly and Andy Reid might to be to blame.  I’m not calling for his job, but if they start to slip he’ll be shown the door faster than you might think.

As for San Diego I still don’t buy it.  I certainly buy it less than I buy Philly.
PHI – 17   SD – 10

New England @ Indianapolis: This became a hot rivalry when New England was winning back-to-back Super Bowls and the Colts were gearing up to win a Championship of their own.  Now, it’s still got a lot of juice because of the whole “Tom Brady vs. Peyton Manning” thing.  Listen, tom isn’t the same and Peyton probably the Assistant Head coach of this team.  Tom Brady is bitching at Belichick on the sideline.  This team doesn’t show emotion and now they are.  The Colts never changed character.  That’s why they’ll win.  (And I’m still mad at myself for liking the Pats in 2001.)  IND – 31   NE – 24

Baltimore @ Cleveland: Whoever got Cleveland on Monday Night deserves a raise because I’m not sure how you sell  “The Browns getting their ass kicked at home” to a network whose job is to make money on viewership and advertising.  I’m just saying.
BAL – 31   CLE – 3

Enjoy your NFL weekend and on Monday we’ll delve into why sports fans can forgive a guy who shoves a gun in their face…

Posted by The General on Nov 13th, 2009 and filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response by filling following comment form or trackback to this entry from your site

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